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Old 10-15-18, 11:52 AM  
annette
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Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Ohio
It's not so much what I look like that bothers me but the effects of gravity. I admit I could lose 10 lbs or so but every part of my body feels heavier. My rear end and thighs feel like they're just hanging there weighing me down. And let's not talk about sagging breasts!

I'll be 60 in December and while I certainly don't have the stamina I used to I find getting older somewhat liberating because I don't think so much anymore about what I look like. I make myself presentable and as long as I don't look totally awful or embarrass my family I'm good.
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Old 10-15-18, 04:05 PM  
Scorpio6
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: St. Louis MO
My problem is that I've got the kind of body that refuses to look as if I have ever exercised in my life, so I have never gotten a feeling of accomplishment for my work on fitness. Even at my most fit, I never looked like it, exercise never did a darn thing for my figure. It's really hard to keep going w/ no reward, nothing to show for it, so to speak.

Has anybody else ever run into this??
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Old 10-15-18, 06:02 PM  
Sara1000
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Yes!
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Old 10-16-18, 06:35 AM  
Rhonda
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: MI
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scorpio6 View Post
My problem is that I've got the kind of body that refuses to look as if I have ever exercised in my life, so I have never gotten a feeling of accomplishment for my work on fitness. Even at my most fit, I never looked like it, exercise never did a darn thing for my figure. It's really hard to keep going w/ no reward, nothing to show for it, so to speak.

Has anybody else ever run into this??
Yes, I have worked out for over 30 years and have never ever looked like it. I do it for myself as if I didn't then who knows what I would look like. I know I will never be looking like Cathe, KCM, or any one else. My health has been great all these years and my doctor is happy about that. I am on no medications, so I could lose 10-15 pounds but am aiming for that 5 pounds right now.

So I keep doing something and realize I need to look back to when I was loosing weight and see what I was doing. I have a feeling I was doing more walking (Jessica, Leslie) and lighter weight workouts. So I may have to give this a try again. Not sure why all these new workout systems seems to suck me in and I know I should do what works for me.
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Old 10-16-18, 06:40 AM  
Indy
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
The thing is - if you don't workout you lose strength and that's worse than looking your age. You can't move, can't do the things you used to. I'm running into this. I have always been a steady exerciser until I lost some weight and then from sheer stupidity I then just stopped working out. I haven't been able to get back into it like I used to and boy, did I notice some changes. I now can't keep my head lifted - I have to support it. Forget about tall box climbs - I tried to get on a stool and couldn't lift my own body weight to get up. Now I'm just struggling and I feel so weak. Don't fret how you look - if I don't get going I'll be some slow moving weak old lady.
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Old 10-16-18, 08:33 AM  
frogribbit
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Kansas
What a great thread! The statements below really resonated with me so I copied them and sent them to myself in an email to look at periodically

Quote:
However, I've found that success NEVER comes from a place of self-loathing.
Quote:
Be that person who speaks a kind word, that person who encourages someone else, that person who loves their family ferociously, that person who has a heart for homeless animals, etc
Quote:
One thing I use to console myself with age and weight is that I look back and sometimes wish I enjoyed my younger years a little bit more. So I bet when I'm 70, I'll be wishing I really dug in and loved being 59. And if I'm lucky enough to live to 80, I'll remember how good it felt being 70 etc.
I forgot to copy the statement someone made about not being able to see as well. That definitely has it's advantages when looking in the mirror I don't think my face looks have bad until I put on my glasses
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Old 10-16-18, 09:54 AM  
hch
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Join Date: Mar 2002
In May, I started a thread:
Let's talk about "old talk"

It links to
Old Talk: The New Brand of Body Bashing
Why we engage in these critical conversations, how they harm us and how to stop them.


If I'm going to choose a limited excerpt, I'll choose this part, and not merely because it's "the first step." It reaffirms some of the things said so far in this thread, particularly about what some of us have chosen to think and to say:

Quote:
The first step to changing this behavior is to become aware of old talk or fat talk when it happens. “Try to catch yourself when you reflexively disparage your body,” Lin advises, then redirect your thoughts or comments in a more positive direction.

[snip]

“Also, when evaluating your own body, try to think in terms of health and function – 'Is my body healthy and able to do the things I want it to do?' – rather than based on appearance,” Lin suggests.
I'm reminded here of the VF guidelines. I'm not trying to flatter the people who formulated them , but this part has always struck me:

Quote:
Video Fitness prefers to focus on exercise for health and improved self esteem. Though many VF readers are trying to lose weight, we feel that keeping the focus on exercise and performance goals, rather than on diet or weight loss goals, is the best way to help our community members achieve success and stick to their workout programs.
At the very least, we as a group are at least approaching this first step.

Although in one way I can agree with TracyQ that this thread can make people sad--I myself feel saddened after reading some posts--I'm also hopeful that we're at least discussing the subject, not dismissing or suppressing this discussion because we still considered endless body disparagements the "natural" way of being. (I also love that signature line: "Cellulite is not a character defect." The necessity of saying so reflects why I distrust the mainstream "fitness" community.)

I'll talk more about other steps later.
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Old 10-16-18, 12:39 PM  
dianestjohn
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Orange County, CA
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scorpio6 View Post
My problem is that I've got the kind of body that refuses to look as if I have ever exercised in my life, so I have never gotten a feeling of accomplishment for my work on fitness. Even at my most fit, I never looked like it, exercise never did a darn thing for my figure. It's really hard to keep going w/ no reward, nothing to show for it, so to speak.

Has anybody else ever run into this??
Yes! I am overweight and comfortable at my current weight, but even when I was much thinner and did, for instance P90x, my body shape did not look much different - only smaller, but certainly not ripped, defined, elongated, or whatever. I actually do not mind it though, I mostly work out becuase I'm fascinated by the variety of different workouts and want to stay strong, with good cardio capacity, and flexible. People tend not believe me when I tell them I work out every day - I think (for women at least) most people think fit equals thin. Even my doctor did not believe I worked out - she said skeptically "what do you do?" as if I was going to say three situps and a walk around the block, but when I waxed rhapsodic about all the variety of workouts, the different kinds of HIIT training, AWT, she stopped me and said OK OK and laughed. She at least did tell me that I was very muscular

I have never been gorgeous even when I was young, so in a way I feel lucky that at age 61 I don't feel like I've lost something precious and that I no longer get the attention I did when I was young. But I do think I look healthy and energetic and happy, which is my goal.
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Old 10-16-18, 02:15 PM  
Aunt Famous
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: the Sunny South
It has taken me 50 years to grow into myself.

When I was 30, I hated how I looked. I thought I was fat and ugly. I now look at photographs of me at 30, and I am ashamed of what I thought. I was beautiful.

At some point, near 40, I decided never to look in the mirror and tell myself that I was fat and ugly. I had done that every day for nearly all of my conscious life, and I decided that it was time to quit.

I did.

I love being 50. My husband encouraged me to grow out my grey hair. It was a rough time, watching the red leave and the salt and pepper come in. I had to learn to transcend hair and focus on what made me happy. My hair is almost grown out now, and when I look in the mirror, I now see a 50 year-old woman, a woman with experience and wisdom and lines and (finally!) peace.

I take care of myself, figuring that I am my most valuable possession.

I do things that feel like they have been prescribed for me by a physician: heavy weights, yoga. When I let my grousing get in the way and skip these things, I feel worse.

I have tapped into my creative side. I knit. I paint. I write. I have a goal to sew all of my own clothes.

I have cleaned out my life, taking bag upon bag upon bag to Goodwill. I listened a podcast (Ask a Clean Person) that had professional organizers on it. They said that people often hold onto things that remind them of a former time in their life that they can't quite let go of -- for instance, a woman who quit being a lawyer to care for her children who is unwilling to get rid of her work suits. I have asked myself this, many times over: what I am holding onto that I need to let go?

I walk every day.

I go to bed tired.

I reach out to friends.

I travel.

I love deeply.

Yes, I look in the mirror critically at times, but I stop myself. It is a good body, I tell myself, a body that has carried children, that has run, that has walked, that has served me so very well for 50 years, and that -- if I'm lucky -- will serve me for many more.

That's how I cope.

AF

Check out my blog at www.typeALC.com
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Old 10-16-18, 02:25 PM  
Sara1000
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aunt Famous View Post

I walk every day.

I go to bed tired.

I reach out to friends.

I travel.

I love deeply.

Yes, I look in the mirror critically at times, but I stop myself. It is a good body, I tell myself, a body that has carried children, that has run, that has walked, that has served me so very well for 50 years, and that -- if I'm lucky -- will serve me for many more.

That's how I cope.

AF
www.typeALC.com
That is so beautiful! I love this thread!
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aging, aging old gracefully, getting older, gratitude, old talk, social media, social media envy

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