Off-Topic Alzheimer’s/Nursing Home

[TinaT]

Thank you Tina. These questions will be helpful when we visit more facilities. In retrospect we didn’t ask the right questions but my aunt has NEVER been an aggressive person and we never thought this would be an issue. We expected lots of crying but not aggression.

You're most welcome Tracy. It's such a heart breaking time for the loved ones to see a family member become someone they would never want to be. I am thankful my mom has not become aggressive with her dementia. If you know her exact kind of dementia, then it's easier to understand it. My mom has "Vascular-Alzheimers." (There are over 80 combinations of Dementia). I know what to expect as my mom progresses.

More Questions for you and your family to ask yourself:
Is she safe?
Are her basic needs being met?

We will always want more for our loved ones, but this time in life narrows their world to the very basics of life. I know my mom is cared for well and all her daily needs are being met. I can't ask more than that for her. It would be a waste of time and energy. She has her room, 3 meals a day, TV as much as she wants, showers twice a week and about 20 people to keep her socially active if she chooses to. That's a full day for her.

Be kind to yourself and give each other grace as you and your family figure all this out for your aunt.

[cataddict]

TinaT, I just wanted to comment that the caring and helpful concern and advice you've given to Tracy is one reason why I come to this forum. I'm sure it hasn't been easy for you to discuss since you are also on a similar painful road, and it shows what a kind and generous person you are.

Tracy, prayers for you and your family as you deal with such a difficult situation.

[TinaT]

cataddict ~ Thank you for your kind words. I have been involved with helping 3 different family members with late life living. All 3 were a bit different, and my level of help was different as well. I've learned so much about all the red tape, hoops a family has to jump through, etc just to get an elderly loved one help in a way most of us are not trained for.

I made a choice after going through this with my mom that I would make myself available to talk with families that have these decisions ahead of them but don't know where to start. I point them to resources in our area and like Tracy, I give a list a of questions to ask. Helping break down some of the red tape is all I want to do. Because there's a lot of it.

[bzar]

in our state, there are many licensed care homes. each home is licensed to care for up to 6 people in a home setting. it's run as a business and requires extensive licensure and periodic inspections. it's also eligible for medicare coverage.

my cousin and her MD husband own one - a separate dwelling about 2 blocks aways from their own residence. i have a co-worker who also owns one in his own house - they live upstairs and the care home is downstairs, run by his wife. she is not a nurse by profession, but hires 3 nurses who work for her.

if home setting care is an option in your city, it's less hectic and the ratio of patient to caregiver is lower, thereby offering focused care.

[TracyQ]

I wanted to give a quick update. We had my aunt admitted to a geriatric psych ward while we continue to find a permanent nursing home for her.

The first couple of days were really rough but with meds and a lot of support from us and the staff she seems to be adjusting.

I came across this documentary (Alzheimer’s: the Caregivers Perspective). This documentary really sums up how hopeless the situation I’m in feels. I guess it helps in a way to know we are not alone.

https://youtu.be/CcBH077AEm8

[Tanja]

Originally Posted by bzar

in our state, there are many licensed care homes. each home is licensed to care for up to 6 people in a home setting. it's run as a business and requires extensive licensure and periodic inspections. it's also eligible for medicare coverage.

my cousin and her MD husband own one - a separate dwelling about 2 blocks aways from their own residence. i have a co-worker who also owns one in his own house - they live upstairs and the care home is downstairs, run by his wife. she is not a nurse by profession, but hires 3 nurses who work for her.

if home setting care is an option in your city, it's less hectic and the ratio of patient to caregiver is lower, thereby offering focused care.

My brother is in a facility like that. He is in Germany. I didn't realize they have these in America, too. It's a relatively new concept there, since 2020. His care home is for people in a permanent vegetative state. He heart gave out in March of this year and it took over 30 minutes to revive him. Therefore, his brain is severely damaged. For two months he was in the ICU, then a month in a rehab clinic but did not make enough progress and he ended up in this care home. Visitors can stop by whenever they like. The nursing/patient ratio is excellent, he is fed, cleaned, they give him his meds, they watch over him. I am very happy with this type of care.