Off-Topic Alzheimer’s/Nursing Home

[TinaT]

This is not an uncommon practice. My mother is also in assisted living with a high number of Dementia patients. I'm thinking that maybe they reacted too quickly as far as not working with your loved one and your family. But there is a liability attached to combative behavior. My mom's home had a person who became combative and hit other residents and that creates a libility on the home to keep ALL residents safe. Tho, this person was given time to settle in and the family was very hands on. (Which sounds like you are as well).

Changing a persons enviroment and routine, who has Dementia can be very traumatizing and difficult depending how advanced their condition is. I moved mom in when she was still quite congnetive and understood the "why". I know you might not of had a choice to move her when you did.

I'm sorry you experienced this. I would suggest asking her doctor what are some steps to help her transition. This season of life is just hard. No way around it. Your aunt is blessed to have you.

Questions to ask assisted living homes:
What is plan to help new residents transition and feel welcomed?
Is this home a "forever home"? No matter how advanced your loved one gets, this is her home until death do us part.
What are the protocals if she becomes difficult?
How do YOU get to be a part of the transition?

Just a few of the questions I asked before moving my mom from our home to her new home.

I know you didn't ask for help and just wanted to vent. Sorry if I over stepped.

Take Care ~

[Izzy]

I am very sorry.

But I feel that nursing home failed your aunt and your family. I trust in your search and conversations with doctors, social workers, etc they should have know exactly what to expect of a patient with Alzheimer’s. They know these are the stages Alzheimer’s patients go through especially when their environment changes. Honestly, what did they expect? This is extremely unfortunate and I feel awful for your family.

[Erica H.]

[QUOTE=Izzy;2939093

But I feel that nursing home failed your aunt and your family. I trust in your search and conversations with doctors, social workers, etc they should have know exactly what to expect of a patient with Alzheimer’s. They know these are the stages Alzheimer’s patients go through especially when their environment changes. Honestly, what did they expect? This is extremely unfortunate and I feel awful for your family.[/QUOTE]

This is exactly how I feel. I'm baffled as to how they handled this so poorly.

But ultimately I feel terrible about the experience and am very sorry about it. That is truly horrible.

Erica

[bfit]

I'm sorry you had such a bad and disappointing experience, but in the end it's probably for the best because the people at that facility were clearly unprepared and possibly unqualified to care for someone like your aunt. When people have dementia it's very common for them to become more disoriented at night and to also become combative, and you would think that professional caregivers would know how to handle that. Perhaps the doctor can help you look for a place that specializes in "memory care" or dementia, and they will be better qualified to care for your aunt.

[TracyQ]

Originally Posted by TinaT

This is not an uncommon practice.

Questions to ask assisted living homes:
What is plan to help new residents transition and feel welcomed?
Is this home a "forever home"? No matter how advanced your loved one gets, this is her home until death do us part.
What are the protocals if she becomes difficult?
How do YOU get to be a part of the transition?

Just a few of the questions I asked before moving my mom from our home to her new home.

I know you didn't ask for help and just wanted to vent. Sorry if I over stepped.

Take Care ~

Thank you Tina. These questions will be helpful when we visit more facilities. In retrospect we didn’t ask the right questions but my aunt has NEVER been an aggressive person and we never thought this would be an issue. We expected lots of crying but not aggression.

[TracyQ]

Originally Posted by Izzy

I am very sorry.

But I feel that nursing home failed your aunt and your family. I trust in your search and conversations with doctors, social workers, etc they should have know exactly what to expect of a patient with Alzheimer’s. They know these are the stages Alzheimer’s patients go through especially when their environment changes. Honestly, what did they expect? This is extremely unfortunate and I feel awful for your family.

Thank you Izzy. I think they should have known too. She was on the “memory care” floor. Everyone on that floor has dementia/Alzheimers.

[Gams]

I’ve been thinking about this thread a lot and it makes me sad because this is something that has no easy answers.

I remember when my grandpa was in a nursing home and they treated him so badly. My cousin is currently in a nursing home and not treated well.

My sister works in an assisted living home and I don’t know how she does it. They are short staffed like everywhere else, so she often works double shifts. She said when they do get applicants, the people generally want to work the overnight shift, thinking they can just sleep and leave when the residents wake up, but it doesn’t work that way. My sister has no problem at all cleaning up barf from the floor and poop from the walls. She does a lot with the residents. I was there a couple weeks ago and they have quite a garden growing. They were also in the middle of a rummage sale that appeared to be a disorganized mess but the residents were having a lot of fun. One resident (an adult male) adores my sister on his good days. He is non verbal except for one word - my sister’s name. On his bad days, he can get physical with her and has punched her and pulled her hair until she’s cried.

They need to get the right kind of people to work in nursing homes, but I don’t know how you attract those people to those jobs.

It’s all frustrating and sad.

[TracyQ]

Originally Posted by Gams

I’ve been thinking about this thread a lot and it makes me sad because this is something that has no easy answers.

I remember when my grandpa was in a nursing home and they treated him so badly. My cousin is currently in a nursing home and not treated well.

My sister works in an assisted living home and I don’t know how she does it. They are short staffed like everywhere else, so she often works double shifts. She said when they do get applicants, the people generally want to work the overnight shift, thinking they can just sleep and leave when the residents wake up, but it doesn’t work that way. My sister has no problem at all cleaning up barf from the floor and poop from the walls. She does a lot with the residents. I was there a couple weeks ago and they have quite a garden growing. They were also in the middle of a rummage sale that appeared to be a disorganized mess but the residents were having a lot of fun. One resident (an adult male) adores my sister on his good days. He is non verbal except for one word - my sister’s name. On his bad days, he can get physical with her and has punched her and pulled her hair until she’s cried.

They need to get the right kind of people to work in nursing homes, but I don’t know how you attract those people to those jobs.

It’s all frustrating and sad.

Hi Gams—I’m glad you popped back in. I just put my aunt to bed and can’t stop thinking about what happened.

It definitely takes a special kind of person to care for dementia patients, God Bless your sister for being so kind. The aide that took my aunt to dinner at 5:00 was still there at 1:00 a.m. when I went back to get her. I assume she was working a double. When I apologized for my aunt’s behavior and told her it was out of character she said it’s not her it’s her disease which I appreciated.

[fanofladyvols]

Tracy trying to find good care is so hard even when the person you're caring for is mentally aware. The memories for us are still so fresh.

Sending you HUGS because no matter what ...the ongoing supervision of the care is so mentally draining.

Please keep us posted.

[annette]

Hi Tracy,

I know how hard this is. My Dad was in a similar situation and it's heartbreaking and exhausting. He became sexually aggressive with the staff and they finally just had to keep him medicated. It was sad but seemed the only reasonable way to handle it at the time.

I don't have any suggestions, others have offered some great ones. Hugs to you and your family.