Video Fitness Forum  

Go Back   Video Fitness Forum > Video Fitness Reader Forum > General Discussion

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 09-15-21, 05:12 PM  
Gams
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
I don’t think her sister has put her in a bad position at all. She asked because she trusts her sister to watch her dog. Nothing wrong with asking. And nothing wrong with saying “no” if it wouldn’t work.
Gams is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-15-21, 06:07 PM  
Leonana
 
Leonana's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Arizona
Well, it puts the dog in a bad position. However, I don't think her sister meant to do it deliberately, but she does seem like she isn't picking up on the verbal clues. But I agree, you have to be direct and say no. My post was mainly to extend understanding, as I can relate to the guilt you feel when you say no, especially when it's due to anxiety or OCD.
__________________
Sherry
Leonana is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-15-21, 07:07 PM  
Dena
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Ice Box of Pennsylvania
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leonana View Post
I understand how you feel, as your sister has been there for you and you want to do the same. I also have some OCD, although mine is different and I have pets. But I understand how difficult that is to deal with. People don’t tend to look at a mental illness the same way as they would a physical disability, and you’re afraid she will think you are being selfish.

However, you have to think about the puppy, who deserves the right care. Even if your sister is angry with you, you have to do the right thing for the puppy, who is the innocent one here.

I feel bad for you, your sister has put you in a bad position. I hope you are able to sort it out
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leonana View Post
Well, it puts the dog in a bad position. However, I don't think her sister meant to do it deliberately, but she does seem like she isn't picking up on the verbal clues. But I agree, you have to be direct and say no. My post was mainly to extend understanding, as I can relate to the guilt you feel when you say no, especially when it's due to anxiety or OCD.
You summed it up perfectly, Leonana. I think my sister simply isn't thinking this through properly. The fact that it's triggering anxiety due to my OCD tendencies isn't helping and making me feel resentful towards her that she's not getting the hints I'm throwing at her.

As you, Gams, Donna, and others have mentioned, I think it's time to put on my Big Sister pants and simply tell her that I'm not comfortable dog sitting for her because of the stress it's (already) causing me and because the dog being in her crate all day is not fair or healthy for her!
__________________
Being able to say what you want is something most people support............until you say what others don't want to hear.
Dena is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-15-21, 09:07 PM  
schoolgirl-01
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Parkland, FL
i think you should tell your sister you can't do this, it's just too much for your OCD lifestyle. dogs are very messy. it would be best if she hired a dog walker to come a few times a day to her home and care for the dog or to ask someone else to do this
schoolgirl-01 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-16-21, 10:22 AM  
Dena
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Ice Box of Pennsylvania
A big THANK YOU to those of you who provided helpful, understanding and compassionate advice regarding my situation.

I wanted to help my sister since she has been there for me in the past yet I wanted the best care for her dog as well. I have put in for time off work so I can stay home next week to care for the dog. I am going to purchase a gate so she is confined to the entryway and sun room (which have tile / hardwood flooring) and will just crate her at night, when I'm sleeping. I have also told my sister that it is best if she finds someone else to use in the future since my situation does not easily lend itself to dog sit for her.
__________________
Being able to say what you want is something most people support............until you say what others don't want to hear.
Dena is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-16-21, 10:27 AM  
Leonana
 
Leonana's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Arizona
That is a great solution. You are an awesome sister!
__________________
Sherry
Leonana is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-16-21, 11:33 AM  
bzar
Exchange Moderator
 
bzar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: PalmTreeVille
glad to hear!
__________________
~jeannine


Miyagi: Wax on, right hand. Wax off, left hand. Wax on, wax off. Breathe in through nose, out the mouth. Wax on, wax off. Don't forget to breathe, very important.
[walks away, still making circular motions with hands] ~ Pat Morita, The Karate Kid, 1984


disclosure: in the years 2002-2004 i had a professional relationship with a distributor of fitness videos; see profile.
bzar is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-16-21, 12:52 PM  
lreidgreen
VF Supporter
 
lreidgreen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: New Jersey
Dena, that sounds like a good solution. I used to board my dog at a woman's house who only took in a few dogs at a time and gave them the run of the house. No outdoor kennels. My dog loved it but the woman ran into zoning problems with her township and hasn't been able to do this for at least 2 years. I found another person who had the same set up but I personally don't like her as much although she loves the dogs.
Lately and going forward we are using my neighbor who is retired but does pet sitting as a part time job. She stays at my house to take care of my elderly dog who really can't go elsewhere at this point. It would be too stressful for her. We have also had young adult friends of the family stay in the house to pet and house sit. Then they could take care of our turtle, fish, cat and taking in the mail and watering the plants. This is all to say that there are many home-like options for pet boarding/care.

Regarding the cleanliness issue, the concern is real. I love my dog dearly and will miss her when she is gone but I am looking forward to not cleaning up messes and dealing with the smell.
lreidgreen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-16-21, 01:06 PM  
laurajhawk
 
laurajhawk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Colorado
That is so nice of you! Great solution and I’m glad you are able to do it.
__________________
- Laura

"Don't say 'I can't' ... say 'I presently suck at this thing.'" - Matt Meese, BYU Divine Comedy
laurajhawk is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
dogs, off topic, off-topic

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:02 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
© 2009 Video Fitness