((((((Susan)))))))
Susan, i have "known" you for a really long time on this board, and i feel the sadness in losing your mom. i haven't read all of the replies, but if you have access to employee assistance program for counseling from your employer, please see if you can get an appointment for bereavement. consider seeing your primary care physician or calling him/her to get a referral. professional mental health care is covered under most medical plans. i'm sure there's also a support group of survivors of loved ones who took their life that perhaps your doctor could refer you to.
my mom passed away last year from cancer, and that alone was difficult for us. however, your situation is doubly difficult due to the circumstances and unknown pain she was going through.
__________________
~jeannine
Miyagi: Wax on, right hand. Wax off, left hand. Wax on, wax off. Breathe in through nose, out the mouth. Wax on, wax off. Don't forget to breathe, very important.
[walks away, still making circular motions with hands] ~ Pat Morita, The Karate Kid, 1984
disclosure: in the years 2002-2004 i had a professional relationship with a distributor of fitness videos; see profile.
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