If you love this board...

[isa]

Please be a little bit more respectful towards eachother and towards the moderators. Some moderators and WWWendy mentioned that they have too much work resolving problems on the board, and are not enjoying the board very much anymore (sometimes). There has been some criticism about the way the board is moderated, which makes their job even less fun.

I hope people can:
*Respect the decisions of the moderators. They´re doing the best they can. Please don´t take their decisions personally.
*Treat others how you´d like to be treated. Imagine talking to someone in person, would you still say it like this? Try to see their side of the story.
*Please don´t take everything too seriously and try not to be oversensitive.
*If you´re angry or hurt, don´t post immediately. Take a breath, do something else and respond later when you´ve calmed down.

A big thank you to all to WWWendy and the mods ! Your work is really appreciated!



Femke

[isa]

A quote from WWWendy (from the Joanna thread):

a few comments
Please take a deep breath everybody, consider your words carefully, and be respectful of your fellow VFers.

I have to get this off my chest...I have probably spent 80-90% of my VF time the past two months dealing with the conflicts on this board and the emails and pms they inspire. If you want to know why VF isn't up to date and why ongoing VF projects aren't going anywhere, that's why. That is not the way I prefer to be spending my time, but I've had no choice. I care about VFers and want everyone to get along, so I try to mend fences when I can, but it has become a full time job, frankly, and I'm exhausted.

So yes, whether or not you agree that there has been extra drama or negativity on the board lately, I can attest that there has been extra conflict, conflict that has required intervention.

Thanks for listening.

[dianairene]

Thanks for this, Femke. I really do love this board and am trying to do my part by avoiding the train wreck threads. The overwhelming majority of posters here seem so smart and thoughtful. It's a shame that the few who tend toward drama and confrontation have made things difficult for Wendy and the mods.

[Lyzza350]

I totally agree....i think your post was very well said...i hope everyone listens to it...i know that i personally will do my best

[sewoodson]

Originally Posted by isa

Please be a little bit more respectful towards eachother and towards the moderators. Some moderators and WWWendy mentioned that they have too much work resolving problems on the board, and are not enjoying the board very much anymore (sometimes). There has been some criticism about the way the board is moderated, which makes their job even less fun.

Very well put. I totally agree with you. This board should be for fun and relaxation.

[Loretta S.]

Thanks Femke. I agree completely.

[lfcjasp]

Femke, thanks for calling this to our attention. It's crazy that Wendy is spending so much time on such matters. None of these issues are life and death, so stopping and taking that deep breath or, in some cases, sleeping on the issue at hand, might save a lot of grief. I know there have been times I've just had to ask myself "If I respond to this thread, will I really add anything to this discussion that's of value?" Many times I've been glad I kept my "trap shut". Other times I'm afraid I didn't help things. For that I'm sorry. I love good discussions and learn a lot from them, but we can have them without the name calling and getting our noses out of joint. Just my .02 worth.

[Lucysql]

I've come across several versions of this, and have found it helpful when my "trigger finger" is itching to respond to a post.

In a nutshell, before saying anything negative, ask yourself if it passes all three of the following tests.
1) is it true?
2) is it good/positive?
3) is it useful?

If it doesn't pass all three tests, ask yourself what constructive purpose is served by posting it.

[Lucysql]

This little parable has made the rounds on the internet, but seems especially relevant to this thread.

TWO WOLVES

An elder was teaching his
grandchildren about life. He said to them,
"A fight is going on inside me...
it is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.

One wolf represents fear, anger, envy,
sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance,
self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority,
lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other stands for joy, peace, love,
hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness,
benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity,
truth, compassion, and faith.

This same fight is going on inside you,
and inside every other person, too."
They thought about it for a minute
and then one child asked his grandfather,
"Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee simply replied...
"The one you feed."

Food for thought, huh?

[Loretta S.]

I really like that Lucy. Thanks.