Needing help and advice

[Anny]

I am an infrequent poster on this board and I hope no one minds me asking for this help.

Long story short, I am a 53 year old mother of seven , five sons at home at uni or homeschooling. I am studying and work long hours in my casual job. After 33 years of dealing with my dh's mental issues and abuse, he left 7 months ago. Since then, he has continued to do unspeakable things and we struggle financially.

Five years ago, over a five year period, I lost nearly 40 kg, mostly with Taebo and other kickboxing and the FIRM and calorie counting and working on mind issues. The last two-three years have been incredibly stressful with my marriage breakdown and financial difficulties and my best friend died six months ago very suddenly, so though I did not stop working out, it's my sanity saver, I no longer have time for long workouts, I stress ate, I drank too much, I slept too little and I am menopausal. All of which has lead to a 10 kg weight gain.

I have been trying to lose this weight. My blood clotting disorder has gone haywire so painful superficial clots mean pain after and during exercise. I'm trying to work on diet but end up eating too much with tiredness and stress. No excuse I know! My workouts don't seem to give me enough joy , except while doing them if that makes sense, and I feel generally down and fat and old and ugly and hate myself.

One of my sons is getting married in six months, our first wedding, and I know I will hate myself in the photos. What can help me get motivated and in better shape by then? I used to like my Jillian Michaels and Jackie Warners (30 Day Shred, Xtreme Timesaver)... Their times are just right. If I get my diet cleaned up would these work? Or would alternating cardio and heavy weights work? I was given a $20 Amazon voucher recently, would Teen Meta be better? I used to love my dance workouts too. Or is it better to go back to what worked...Taebo and TJ and the FIRM...but now I only have 30 minutes to work out so how can that work?

As you can see, I am so confused and depressed and am not sure about the eating part either. Very sorry for this tome, and if you have read this far, thank you!

[yogapam]

Anny - (((Hugs))) to you! I think that if you eat cleaner and decide on a rotation that is fun and makes you feel good, you are bound to see results if you stick with it! Keep it simple, especially to start with! And finding a VF check in that suits can be helpful too.

[s2546]

((hugs)) tae bo and kickboxing are great to combine with some FIRM version of weight tapes. Maybe throw in one dance cardio per week. Maybe I can send you one. I have the Firm Cardio Dance Fusion. Can you send me an envelope to mail it in? i have never mailed overseas.

sue

[Nuggie's Auntie]

Anny, so sorry for all you've been through! Wow, that's a lot.

I agree with Yogapam, a check in is a great way to get some support. There are several that would probably fit your circumstances and provide some good accountability.

As for exercise, I'd say go with whatever is enjoyable for you--whatever that may be. Even if it's just a few minutes a day, then you can work up to more as you are able. Maybe just a walk in the sunshine is best for now. Is there a friend you can recruit to exercise with you? Some people find that helpful.

And yes, the diet part is key. I find the only thing that helps me is food tracking. It's a pain, but it keeps me on track. I'm using the fitbit website, and I try to get 10k steps everyday. The site does make it very easy.

Good luck, Anny! Keep us posted.

[cherimac]

Anny~I've been wondering how you were doing. We were on the homeschool check in together. I am so sorry to hear all of this. Definitely do workouts that nourish you and bring you joy. They will bring results inside and out.

You will be in my prayers. (((HUGS)))

[kali1]

((((HUGS)))) Anny!! You are a incredibly courageous and strong woman. You are grieving a lot right now. Please be gentle with yourself. I think if you started back on your workouts regularly, you'll start feeling differently about yourself. Like yogapam said, keep it simple. From the sounds of your exercise collection, you have some great stuff there. Hugs to you!!!

As for your husband, do you feel safe right now? Are the police or courts involved (like a restraining order, stalking order?)?

[Paine]

Ah Anny, I'm sorry you have had a rough time. I'd probably go back to what worked for you before, even if you can only do 30 minutes a day. Otherwise, do the workouts you enjoy and will be likely to stay with. Focus on clean eating and keep a diary of what you eat to become more mindful of portions. I wish you all the best.

[Joni O]

Hugs to you, Anny. I agree with those who said just do what you enjoy. You don't want your exercise to add more stress because you're wondering if you're doing the 'right' thing or not. Don't worry about what you're doing or for how long. Just do what feels good and makes you happy.

[rosepetals]

HUGS !!!

Do you have the Dr.'s approval to workout with blood clots? If they break away, well you know what can happen.

First I would make sure the MD approves.

You might want to look online for Fat, Sick and nearly Dead. The full movie is available to watch online. He has some good stories about health issues.

[lotusgirl]

Anny, I'm so sorry. Here are my two cents:

First, if you're not getting enough sleep, get the sleep you need. I find that sleep helps my mental attitude and my physical energy and it allows me to make better food choices.

Second, do exercises that make you feel good when you're doing them. (This should help with sleep, too.) You may find that as you feel better, get stronger, etc., that you do more challenging things that give you the physical results you want, but I'd focus on what feels good right now.

Third, focus on eating healthy foods, foods that you know that are good for your body - real foods, whole foods, not junk. You'll feel better, you'll have more energy, and you'll be fueling your workouts.

Fourth, reward yourself every day with inexpensive, nonfood things, such as a bubble bath every night, 30 minutes reading, gardening, walking your dog, etc. Things that delight YOU.

Be good to you. Do these things for you now, not for six months down the road. I guess it's my yoga influence - live in the now because the past has already happened and the future isn't for certain.