Anyone else have a skinny husband? Feeling bad today!

[alisoncooks]

I have a similar self-esteem complex with regards to my brother. He has ALWAYS been wiry and thin (not to mention thick eyelashes and bright blue eyes).

I've come to the conclusion that comparisons help no one. In anything. Ever.
(Thought I'll admit that it can be hard to stick with.)

Maybe a serious heart-to-heart with your DH might be in order. Let him know that his competition and one-upmanship is hurtful, not motivating, for you.

[bee]

Sending more hugs here. Didn't I read that you're doing kundalini yoga, too? Keep focused on your own journey, and also keep in mind that women have more body fat by design. Just focus on your own progress -- it'll get better!

[hotncmom]

Originally Posted by fuzzie

(((hotncmom))) So sorry you are feeling bad! Men (well, some men) seem to build muscle and lose fat so much easier than we do... which is why I have always said I am coming back as a man in my next life!!



Is it possible that he seems to "compete" with you, to flex and to ask for positive feedback because in the past he has felt like the unfit one and he wants you to find him attractive and be proud of him (just like he seems to rightfully find you attractive and to be proud of you? )

I don't think so. When we met he was the fit one. He was a runner and I was a slug. He ran half marathons with ease. I mean he trained, but he's a natural runner and can be sedentary for a year and then go out and run 3 miles without breaking a sweat. He was always trying to get me to run. In his mind it was the "only" way to be fit. He has adjusted that mindset a bit since he's gotten older (does more walking than running and now yoga), but he's always been the more athletic one. I got into fitness to lose weight when I was near 150 lbs. and finally had something click when I started doing DVD's.

He only recently had his unfortunate weight gain but now it's like it never happened, but he still gets tons of compliments. It's pretty hard for me to even lose 10 lbs. and no one ever seems to notice when I do.

[topfitmama]

Originally Posted by toaster

I would never compare my own measurements to my DH's--his would be smaller! He is about an inch taller than me yet about 10 lbs. lighter. I'm within a healthy weight range for my height, but I'm on the high end and he's on the low end. Yes, he's naturally thin, and even worse, he doesn't exercise! He has like 8% body fat; it's insane. He can eat whatever he wants too, although he generally eats relatively healthy (he eats what I cook) and he actually doesn't seem to get very hungry, as he often skips meals. It's enough to drive you crazy if you think about it!

So, I try not to think about it too much.

That sounds exactly like my husband. He's a head taller than I am. Has always been long and lean and has hever had to make any effort to stay skinny. I'm the opposite.

[antbuko]

Originally Posted by hotncmom

He stands in front of the mirror every night and flexes. While he does this he asks things like "Do you see this muscle? Don't I look good?" I know he is proud of himself but in the meantime I feel like I look worse than I have in years (because of the cellulite) and much of it feels out of control. Even if I exercised as much as he does, my appetite would spike and it would be worse.

And just for good measure, he'll do some extra chin ups and pushups right before getting in bed too.

Oy vey! He will probably be saying the same thing when he's 91. One thing that I've observed about men, is whether they look good or not, they certainly think they do, yet they will always show off and ask, never mind fish, for compliments.

So he wants to compete? I say go for it and sweep the floor with him!

[caitlinpyle]

i weigh more than my dh, too! he has gained about 15 lbs since we got married... he weighed 116 then! now he's like 131, and im still 6-8 lbs more than him, and we are the same height. he can do things i cant, but i can do things he cant (he is a wimp when it comes to the burn ... barre, etc.) sometimes i feel a little jealous.

His sister is also extremely into crossfit and was a gymnast/cheerleader growing up and is super strong compared to me, even though im a personal trainer... lol. My father in law, too, always asks me how many pullups i can do followed by "come on, youre a personal trainer!!"

so its been a tough journey to get comfortable with myself and where i am. DH is very mindful of what he says and does... his family not so much. ive come to know that what makes a great trainer isnt what youre able to do, but how youre able to teach and motivate others... and im great at that!! so focusing on what youre great at is definitely a key to blurring out what youre not good at (yet) :-)

[Vee]

To the OP - I truly think everything is as it should be.

Your husband is built like a man- broad at the shoulders and tapering down to the hips. You are built like a woman - hour glass with wider hips than him.

Size 6 is a great size to be. Healthy and definitely not over weight.

The only difference between the two of you seems to be self image. Except air brushed models, bodies are rarely meet an ideal concept (whether that ideal is athlete, dancer or swimsuit model). Your husband looks in the mirror and sees what is right about himself and revels in his ability to do push-ups and chin-ups. Through your loving eyes you see him as ideal. Through his loving eyes, you are ideal too. Like many women tend to, you are being critical of the image in the mirror.

[bee]

Awesome, Vee! Spot on.

[Nuggie's Auntie]

Do you need to workout with him? Sometimes I think it's better for couples not to do certain things together. Maybe just reclaiming your workout time as your time will help.

[caitlinpyle]

Originally Posted by Nuggie's Auntie

Do you need to workout with him? Sometimes I think it's better for couples not to do certain things together. Maybe just reclaiming your workout time as your time will help.

i like this. finding my love for barre has helped me feel more independent of DH... he does workouts with me sometimes and its fun to see him whine but also frustrating when he quits because he doesn't like it, haha (it burns!!)