Off-Topic A little perspective from SarahBethYoga

[ddj]

I got an email today from Sarah Beth (SarahBethYoga on YouTube) that is sobering and thought-provoking. On a day we are supposed to be thankful (but often aren't) this email is convicting:

Hello dear yogi,

This might sound a bit cheesy

...but I just wanted to share how incredibly grateful I am for YOU!

It’s been heartwarming to see how much love, support, and encouragement I've been experiencing in the SarahBethYoga community.

And for those of you that are curious, I wanted to share something that’s been weighing on my mind for some time…

Right now, I’m battling the aftereffects from a mild dose of chemo and experiencing major health anxiety, making me couch-bound as I write this letter.

Nearly 6 weeks ago I found out I was *surprise* pregnant (despite having a “perfectly placed” IUD).

The first few weeks were an emotional rollercoaster to say the least.

At first, I was processing, freaking out, then excited for a new baby in my life!

No sooner had I begun imagining life with a new baby that everything came crashing down.

Instead of celebrating, I was grieving the loss of my pregnancy when it was discovered to be ectopic (not located in my uterus).

Then fear overwhelmed me as the doctors told me that my life was in danger.

The pregnancy could rupture causing internal bleeding which could lead to emergency ER & surgery visit or death at any moment.

I received the methotrexate shot, a mild chemotherapy that stops cells from rapidly dividing, but I’m not in the clear yet and have spent many evenings in cramping pain, sweating from anxiety, thinking that my time could be up.

“What if it ruptures in my sleep and I pass out from pain?

“What if I don’t wake up?”

I started journaling on this thought of my own mortality and wrote letters to family members and this community, just in case.

And in this process of writing I had TWO very significant turning points in perspective:

#1) If I die...
If I die from this, tonight or sometime soon, then I can truly say that I’m content. Santosha. I’m proud of the life I built, the family I’ve raised, the legacy of SBY and my own personal growth from a young girl growing up in an unhealthy & abusive environment to now the queen of my body and mind with a family that respects and loves each other. I’ve stopped the abuse cycle and my husband, kids, and family are going to be okay without me. You’ll be okay. My legacy will live on through my teachings and my videos left behind. I feel at peace with death.

#2) If I live...
If I don’t die, then it’s time to live with courage. It’s time to be fearless. It’s time to focus on what brings me purpose and truly serve my community. I’ve been so focused on “building a business” that I’ve set aside my authenticity and purpose. Getting caught up in the “hustle” mentality that every video has to be bigger, better, and more successful than the last. I realize now more than ever that every day we’re alive is a gift, not to be taken for granted. It’s time to have some courage and create the videos & content that I love and most importantly, that my community truly needs.

As long as I’m living I’m going to go with #2.

With courage I move ahead, but first I recover for a couple more weeks at least while this ectopic resolves.

Then into action with courage!


Happy Thanksgiving to all Vfers who celebrate. I hope this message from Sarah Beth will help us all reflect on our problems a bit differently.