Video Fitness Forum  

Go Back   Video Fitness Forum > Video Fitness Reader Forum > General Discussion

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 01-31-22, 11:39 AM  
Leonana
 
Leonana's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Arizona
Quote:
Originally Posted by kat999 View Post
I'm only comparing them because they are the same age. You are 100% correct that Bridget was in a bad car accident and was severely injured. You are absolutely doing your best and no one deserves to be judged. This issue was very triggering for me for a variety of personal reasons, and at the end of the day my point is that we none of us know what we're all dealing with, we should be applauded merely for getting through our lives as best as we can, and focusing on things that bring us joy. Tearing down others is terrible, and to be clear I was not trying to do that.

For me, I am currently extremely lucky to be mostly physically capable of doing the same workouts I did when I was 20, although I struggle with aches and pains and flagging energy and a variety of limitations. But again, for me, I view aging as something I am really, really fighting.
FWIW, I didn’t have the impression that you were critical of Bridget Fonda. I perceived more judgment about Courtney Cox, who I think has had too much done. I don’t mean to be critical of her, but I think she’d be prettier with less filler.

I can relate to what you are saying. I’m more accepting of other people and how they look, but a harsh critic of myself. We should treat ourselves with the same acceptance. I think the fear of growing older, at least for me, stems from a fear of not being loved. Our culture celebrates the good looking youth, and it can feel lonely as we age. Fortunately, my husband still finds me attractive, but there’s still that niggling insecurity underneath for me, and it pushes me to look my best. But I think I short change myself, because I have more to offer than just my looks. Boy, this thread has been good therapy!
__________________
Sherry
Leonana is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-31-22, 03:11 PM  
kat999
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Ohio
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leonana View Post
FWIW, I didnít have the impression that you were critical of Bridget Fonda. I perceived more judgment about Courtney Cox, who I think has had too much done. I donít mean to be critical of her, but I think sheíd be prettier with less filler.
Thanks for clarifying. Courteney has actually laid off some of that work lately, and I think she looks more beautiful for it.

This thread has indeed been therapeutic and one thing that hits home for me is what you indicated, that we should give ourselves as much grace and acceptance as we do others. <3
__________________
peace.tranquility.calmness.serenity
kat999 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-31-22, 05:43 PM  
prettyinpink
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by Karla25 View Post
I have been thinking about this thread and aging a lot lately. Yesterday, when I went to put some food in our local outdoor food pantry, it especially hit home. Whilst I fret about a little sagging and extra weight, others are worried that they might not have anything to eat. What are my priorities? I can spend time being upset about things I cannot change, or I can do things to improve the lives of others.

Iím learning to be content with my imperfect looks, life and the world as it is. I have a choice to make each day on how I will react to life. Iíve started taking some time to analyze my thoughts. How often am I thinking about negative things that I have no control over? Does it help me emotionally to think upon these things? Instead, I can spend that time being grateful for having a husband and family that love me. I have a home, an abundance of food and good health. I also have this wonderful forum. Thereís many that donít have these blessings.

Doing things for others and thinking less about oneself helps with aging gracefully. Plant a butterfly garden, volunteer at a hospital or animal shelter. One might not be ďinvisibleĒ to those that need and cherish their help.
Such beautiful sentiments and SO TRUE!

Our appearance, our bodies, do not define us. This is something that we are told from childhood, but it sometimes takes nearly a lifetime to internalize.
prettyinpink is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-31-22, 06:19 PM  
Erica H.
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Quote:
Originally Posted by prettyinpink View Post

Our appearance, our bodies, do not define us. This is something that we are told from childhood, but it sometimes takes nearly a lifetime to internalize.
I was not told this as a child - I grew up with the opposite message.

Erica
Erica H. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-31-22, 11:13 PM  
Demeris
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by Erica H. View Post
I was not told this as a child - I grew up with the opposite message.

Erica
I grew up with the opposite, too. And with the exception of my father, everyone in the family weighed in all the time about my appearance.
Demeris is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-01-22, 01:17 AM  
prettyinpink
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Aww, I am sorry to hear about those experiences.

There are always plenty of messages to girls and young women in this culture that appearance does matter, a lot. You canít miss them. But I also grew up with a lot of other messages that it is whatís inside that counts. That girls can do anything and it is not based on what you look like. Iím sad for those that didnít and donít.
prettyinpink is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-01-22, 07:19 AM  
gjv
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Quote:
Originally Posted by prettyinpink View Post
Aww, I am sorry to hear about those experiences.

There are always plenty of messages to girls and young women in this culture that appearance does matter, a lot. You canít miss them. But I also grew up with a lot of other messages that it is whatís inside that counts. That girls can do anything and it is not based on what you look like. Iím sad for those that didnít and donít.
My father once told me, when I was about 14 or 15 years old, that it was a "good thing I was smart because I'd never get anywhere on my looks". Now if *that* doesn't stick with a young girl. Unsurprisingly we had been estranged for many years before he died in 2018.
__________________
Gayle
gjv is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-01-22, 07:48 AM  
Erica H.
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Quote:
Originally Posted by gjv View Post
My father once told me, when I was about 14 or 15 years old, that it was a "good thing I was smart because I'd never get anywhere on my looks". Now if *that* doesn't stick with a young girl. Unsurprisingly we had been estranged for many years before he died in 2018.
Ouch, that's really harsh. I'm sorry.

I've had a lifetime of eating disorders and other issues due to the food/body size/weight messages and treatment I got since I was a young child. It was very clear to me that my worth within my family and society was based on my body size. I got very lucky to marry a man who loves me dearly no matter what my size (I've been everywhere from very underweight to obese during our 35 year marriage) but the eating disorders themselves have been very hard on him and I feel guilty about how they have affected him.

Erica
Erica H. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-01-22, 07:49 AM  
kat999
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Ohio
My mother used to share with me when I was way too young some damaging things her own mother (my grandmother) told her about beauty, skincare, weight, and generally pretty toxic things about how a woman's worth is centered around her appearance. My grandmother had also quit smoking at some point and then took it back up again to lose weight. It ultimately killed her at an age we now think of as very young, and it was all due to internalizing these messages. So I know that a lot of my feelings are not the healthiest.
__________________
peace.tranquility.calmness.serenity
kat999 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-01-22, 12:31 PM  
Pam61
VF Supporter
 
Pam61's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: The Ocean State!
I was also emotionally abused growing up and had a very low self esteem, even though I was very pretty. Appearance doesn't matter much when you haven't been supported in other ways, which affects me even as an adult. But, life is what you make it and I'm more self accepting than I once was. It's taken years, though. I just have to move past all of the negativity I've been fed in the past, as life's too short to dwell on it.
__________________
Pam

July iFIT Road Trip:National Parks (Yosemite, Sequoia, and Kings Canyon) Challenge!

Hiking and walking treadmill workouts

Outdoor Hikes Tues/Thurs

Kelly Coffey-Meyer Power Splits!
Pam61 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
aesthetics, aging, beauty, body image, celebrities

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:57 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
© 2009 Video Fitness