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Old 08-21-21, 07:04 AM  
imhere2dance
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Virginia
Significant weight loss and mental health

I'm sure many of you remember I've talked about losing a lot of weight years ago. This was in 2008-2009, before I joined the forum. While I never knew the exact amount, it was significant. My guess was approximately 80 pounds. I was 30 years old when I decided to get in shape. I'm someone who looks smaller than they are, meaning people usually guess I weigh less than I do. I'm 5'3" and I have an hourglass shape. At my lowest weight, I was 108 pounds. While that sounds like a healthy weight, it was too low for me. I exercised for hours a day to maintain and I lost my period for several years. OCD is what kept me going. I posted about it in 2013: This is SO hard for me! (Taking a rest day)

Well, I didn't do as well as I had hoped. I went back to my routine for another year or so. I eventually exercised less and less and then stopped. I mentioned I was taking Prozac in that thread, but I quit taking it almost immediately. I also quit therapy later that same year. I spent most of my 30s and into my early 40s shut off from people. I stopped caring about myself and let myself gain back the weight. Well, I finally woke up about 11 months ago and started the process again. So here I am at 43 and I weigh about 140. I'm a size 6. I exercise twice a day now. I start my day with a 3 mile Leslie Sansone walk and later I do strength training or fusion/Pilates. My brain keeps telling me to be smaller (like 120-130 pounds and/or size 2 or 4), but everyone around me says I look healthy and I don't need to lose weight. So I've been working on maintaining and toning. I can't trust what my eyes/brain see. Again, I don't know how much weight I lost this time, either. I refused to weigh myself when I was larger because I was afraid to know. What I do know is that my starting weight was higher this time around - starting at a size 14 before and 16 this time.

I don't want to go through this again. I enjoy exercising. And I will remind myself when I get depressed that just because I don't care now doesn't mean I won't care later. I can't go through gaining and losing again. The older you get, the harder it is to do. I'm lucky that I was able to make such excellent progress in a short time at 42-43. I feel better physically and I look good in my clothes.

Now that I've rambled on, I'll get to my real issue. When I lost weight before, I had loose skin on my stomach and inner thighs. It wasn't fast weight loss; it took about 1½ years. Still, it wasn't horrible and it didn't bother me too much. It's different now. I have wrinkly excess skin on my inner thighs and my upper/lower stomach. The back of my arms are jiggly and my butt is "eh," even though I do hundreds of squats per day. The more I lose, the worse my skin will look - and it's already bad, which keeps me from trying to become smaller. I do think it can improve some in time. I can't afford skin removal surgery and I'm not sure I'd want to go through it even if it was an option. I just spent 2 months fascia blasting. (Google it if you don't know what it is.) Last night I finally admitted to myself that it won't change or fix anything. All I have to show from it is very bruised skin and hours of wasted time. I think putting myself though the pain of that stems from OCD. I didn't mention before that I was battling some other compulsions when I began my current weight loss journey. My head is all messed up.

Is anyone here dealing with loose skin from weight loss? Will it improve any in time? Aging and regaining/relosing have taken their toll this time around. I'm both mad at and ashamed of myself when I look in the mirror. I mean, how much do you have to hate yourself to put yourself through this crap more than once? I need advice, encouragement, help... Please tell me what to do.
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Old 08-21-21, 10:32 AM  
kat999
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Ohio
I haven't had loose skin problems with weight loss, but I do really see myself in your post in some ways. I've bounced around between 97 and 160 pounds from my 20s to now (currently in my mid-40s), and am currently about 25 pounds from where I want to be. I was around my ideal weight just 2 years ago, and the pandemic really made me pack on the "comfort pounds," even though I worked out like a maniac throughout. Like you, I look a lot smaller than I am (I carry almost all my excess weight in the thighs and rear), so people are always shocked to hear my weight. I barely look any different at 120 lbs. vs. 150, but I FEEL so different, and I like that I can wear more of my wardrobe at a smaller weight. When I'm heavier, I have a lot of muscle pain and am quick to injury.

My mother lost a significant amount of weight over a slow period of time and has a lot of loose skin, but she doesn't seem bothered by it at all, at least not that she tells me. I think for her the health benefits of the weight loss are greater than the aesthetic side effects, so as far as I know she's decided to just live with it. That doesn't mean that has to be your answer--she's quite a bit older than you, for example, so may not feel the need to look a certain way for anyone's benefit--but I do know it's a lot more difficult for the skin to "shrink back" after a certain age or within a certain amount of time.

The fascia treatment sounds pretty painful, and I am not surprised it didn't really work. Cellulite is hard to remove even when one is very small (i.e., even skinny people have some), and loose skin is a whole 'nother matter.

If you don't want to have surgery, it may be a case of mitigation and doing non-invasive things to at least make yourself feel better, especially things that are not as painful as the fascia treatment. For example, find ways to disguise it or at least make you feel like you're pampering yourself. I like to use Jergen's firming/glowing moisturizer to sort of both disguise and lightly firm the skin. Applying it feels like a massage. There are much fancier versions of similar products, of course. Friends of mine swear by shapewear as another alternative. Things like Spanx and whatnot can really flatten any loose areas or bulges. And finally, generally dressing to emphasize what looks good while disguising what you don't like is always helpful. For me, when I'm at a good weight I like to wear bootleg jeans with high heels, so my legs look really long and slender, but you probably won't find me in a low-cut top, because when I'm small my upper ribcage gets really visible. So I dress to emphasize what's working and disguise what's not. Since right now I'm about 150 and to me NOTHING looks good, I just try to wear comfortable clothes that are cute and not too revealing. My waist is still kind of defined, so I'll wear like dark dress pants, a very basic top, but a blazer on top in a fun color with a very nipped-in hourglass shape (while still fitting well). What I try to avoid is looking too boxy or shapeless.

At the end of the day, too, fitness is beneficial for a lot more than just aesthetics. I work out as a form of endorphin therapy to help reduce anxiety, insomnia, and stress. I want to be strong, have endurance, and increase my physical and emotional resilience. Do I want to lose weight and get back to my goal? Absolutely. But I'm at an age where I also need to not put myself through the wringer and sit down and truly determine the mix of d*et and exercise and rest and hydration that all combines to make me feel good, primarily, and only then think about what makes me look good.
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Old 08-22-21, 08:22 AM  
imhere2dance
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Virginia
Thanks for sharing that, Kat. I should try to focus on how much better I feel and how good I look in clothes. Health is the most important thing and I'm much healthier now than I was last year at this time.
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Old 08-22-21, 09:24 AM  
kat999
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Ohio
Quote:
Originally Posted by imhere2dance View Post
Thanks for sharing that, Kat. I should try to focus on how much better I feel and how good I look in clothes. Health is the most important thing and I'm much healthier now than I was last year at this time.
You're welcome! It's kind of easy for me to slide into obsessive fitness stuff, so focusing really hard on how I feel vs. how I look is key to not overexercising, undereating, etc. Last week I had a lot of work stress and wound up skipping lunch every day and then wondering why I felt like absolute garbage at the end of every day. It's very easy to let stress or compulsion or body image problems get the better of us, but if we focus on nourishing ourselves, being kind, being strong, and reducing stress, we're much better off for it.
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Old 08-22-21, 12:29 PM  
Scorpio6
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: St. Louis MO
Callanetics and Tracy Anderson Method are the only two methods I know of that pull the skin back to the muscle. You would probably feel like you are doing more with Tracy Anderson, though. Her original Mat Workout is free on You Tube to get an idea what the method involves and her arm workout is the bomb.
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Old 08-22-21, 03:13 PM  
imhere2dance
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Virginia
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scorpio6 View Post
Callanetics and Tracy Anderson Method are the only two methods I know of that pull the skin back to the muscle. You would probably feel like you are doing more with Tracy Anderson, though. Her original Mat Workout is free on You Tube to get an idea what the method involves and her arm workout is the bomb.
Thanks for the suggestion!
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Old 08-22-21, 04:16 PM  
Tinks
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Hello imhere2dance,

I'm sorry you're going through a hard time right now. Learning to accept ourselves just as we are is really hard.

OCD is a really tough disorder to have. In your prior post you talked about going to therapy. I know a lot of people who have OCD go to talk therapy not knowing there is a gold standard treatment for OCD called ERP(exposure and response prevention). Talk therapy can actually make OCD worse so I just wanted to throw that out there in case you've been in talk therapy.

If you don't have a qualified ERP therapist that treats OCD in your area, there is a great virtual OCD therapy app called NOCD. They take insurance as well. I'll link there website here: NOCD.

If you can't do therapy for OCD right now, a qualified therapist I really like has an online coarse for treating OCD: CBT School

Also, reading through your post, it makes me wonder if you might have a co-existing disorder called body dysmorphic disorder. It's important to get a diagnosis so you can seek the right treatment. Here's an article by the therapist I mentioned above on BDD: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Have a great day!

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Old 08-23-21, 11:59 AM  
Jane P.
VF Supporter
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Colorado Springs
Well as you get older, your skin tends to get loose anyway, especially around the joints such as the knees. The main thing is to be vital and alive.
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