2021 Decluttering Support and Motivation

[lreidgreen]

I discovered that asking my husband "do you want this? " instead of "can we get rid of this?" is a more effective way of getting him to part with things.
It is not 100% effective but I think it is less confrontational somehow. It asks him what he wants and the other option implies that I (as one half of "we") want to get rid of something which may not be mine to get rid of. Just an observation.

[fanofladyvols]

lreidgreen definitely words matter. Besides, I wouldn't be pleased to have him push me to purge things.

[Izzy]

Originally Posted by lreidgreen

I discovered that asking my husband "do you want this? " instead of "can we get rid of this?" is a more effective way of getting him to part with things.
It is not 100% effective but I think it is less confrontational somehow. It asks him what he wants and the other option implies that I (as one half of "we") want to get rid of something which may not be mine to get rid of. Just an observation.

another option is "what should we do with this?" and hopefully the answer is not "keep it forever."

A friends washer broke and flooded her basement. Unfortunately most of their stuff was in boxes which got completely soaked vs plastic bins (which I use). So there was a lot of stuff to pitch and toss. They have been in their house since 2006 and he's in his 80's with early stages of Alzheimer's and she is in her 70's. As Alzheimer's retains memories of your youth and childhood, any of his older childhood stuff or items of his parents got him very upset when she suggested they toss it. I suggested just put it aside for now, and the pitch it (it's all wet and will develop mold) when he's out for his daily walks. It's hard enough to go through stuff when your mind is clear and healthy but I can only imagine if you are fighting Alzheimer's or dementia. He was also an only child so things of his parents is hard for him to let go. She said her biggest regret was not doing this when they moved/retired in 2006 when his mind was healthier.

[Izzy]

Originally Posted by fanofladyvols

Alta that list has really been helpful. I added some areas and omitted others.

I am every other day doing a quick 15 on areas in that list that Alta referenced. (Thank you! ) Been super easy to add to my housecleaning run through depending on which room I'm focusing on.

My husband let go of some clothes and I quickly bagged and delivered two small reusable bags to Goodwill over the weekend...woohoo. Some is better than none!

I agree. Baby steps. Even if I am cleaning or doing laundry and find items I don't wear anymore, just throw it in a bag and let it go.

[fanofladyvols]

Izzy that's so sad. I agree with you..best to do later at this point.

[bzar]

hi gang. i know that this subject - changing jobs - has been widely discussed on general forum and i have bookmarked those threads and read them from time to time. i wanted to post this in our check-in rather than in the General forum to a smaller audience. maybe i might reconsider. nothing scary or urgent.


question: has anyone successfully moved to another job in the past 3 years? or maybe at some point before that?

i think i'm ready to retire from my current job and move to another job once i get a good offer. i've been applying on my own for federal and state jobs, and i have also hooked up with 5 head hunters. i've been working from home since March of last year due to the pandemic.

so far, i haven't gotten any calls for interviews. i've revamped my resume after having the head hunters look at it. i get antsy at times in my current job. i get really impatient too, but try to remain calm. working remotely worsens the situation. i've been able to adapt and have found the positive aspects of working from home.

i've been in the private sector, and in my current job for 30 years. it's a publicly traded company and is regulated. i'm 58 and vested at work as far as pensions go. my youngest just started college last year, and the two older ones will hopefully graduate college in the next 2 semesters. i want to continue working in something fun and different from what i'm doing now.

DH is still working and could also retire at any time. but we're waiting for the kids to finish college. financially, we're doing great. i had always known that i'd work a little bit after my current job. i also wanted to work a bit more to fund some home repairs. in 7 years, mortgage will be paid off.

interested to hear what advice everyone might have.

[Izzy]

jeannie,

I applied for my current job 7 years ago. But, I do not forget how long it took me to get this job and how I went months without getting so much of a phone interview.

1) I did not use a head hunter. I gave my resume to a few agencies but none of them worked or helped me. I found their suggestions on my resume tied more to that person's personal opinion. I gave my resume to my brother (who was in HR at the time), and 2 friends. They all had different ideas. So I took what I liked from each of them and made it my own. Personally I avoid super fancy resumes or ones with too much fluff. I was also told to keep it simple and easy to read. As for cover letters my brother said make them simple, he prefers bullet points and the bullet points should match what the employer has listed in the job description. He said some places get 50 resumes a day. You want your resume to be like a check list to their job description. Part of what I do is HR and he is right about wordy cover letters and resumes they are time consuming.

2) Have several different resumes and cover letters to fit different experiences you have. My experience is in HR/Finance in libraries but if I were applying for a non library job, I would stress that experience not the library experience if that makes sense. I was constantly creating new resumes and cover letters to make that experience pop and shine. Since you want to go into a different field, find what skills you have now and how they apply to where you want to go and let those skills stand out.

3) Do your research on the companies. Google them and read the reviews. Where the job may seem like it's perfect, it could be a nightmare of a place to work. Don't settle for long commutes no matter how great the job is or the pay. That time away from your family commuting you will never get it back. And finally the HR department. So many jobs sounded great but the HR department staff were rude, disrespectful and inconsiderate. Personally if that is how they treat people, I am not sure I would want to work there.

I hope this helps.

[BunnyHop]

Checking in with a major de-clutter story.

I've had the idea that I wanted to move a sofa into the bedroom I use as an office/computer space for quite some time, but I never could figure out how to organize things. Finally got inspired to give it a try and I like the result.

I am actually a bit amazed that I managed to do all that yesterday, and get the room tidied so nicely after.

One thing that did motivate me is video meetings. Before, the camera caught a glimpse of the whole room, now all it sees is a piece of sofa and the back of a book case, assuming I keep the closet door closed. Also, if I want to watch something online that's kind of long, I can get comfy on the sofa instead of having to perch in an uncomfortable office chair.

I cleared off my dad's old desk, finally putting some old stuff in storage where I can find it again, shredding a mountain of old junk, and putting some ancient keepsakes in a better storage spot for archival type stuff.

I used some white 1" duct tape to make labels for the various ring binders I've been using to keep various categories of stuff stored, and I created a system of keeping incoming mail/ongoing to-do's organized. I created a calendar/inbox kind of ring binder so I can track my schedule and keep up with stuff that needs reminders.

Plus, I now have that other desk in the parlor and am thinking of using it for a jigsaw puzzle. Might get a piece of foam core board or two to enlarge the table top, since the pieces might not show up well on the brown tabletop.

Such a nice feeling. Weirdly, I didn't sleep well last night. Would have thought I'd have been tired.

[Izzy]

Originally Posted by BunnyHop

Checking in with a major de-clutter story.

I've had the idea that I wanted to move a sofa into the bedroom I use as an office/computer space for quite some time, but I never could figure out how to organize things. Finally got inspired to give it a try and I like the result.

I am actually a bit amazed that I managed to do all that yesterday, and get the room tidied so nicely after.

One thing that did motivate me is video meetings. Before, the camera caught a glimpse of the whole room, now all it sees is a piece of sofa and the back of a book case, assuming I keep the closet door closed. Also, if I want to watch something online that's kind of long, I can get comfy on the sofa instead of having to perch in an uncomfortable office chair.

I cleared off my dad's old desk, finally putting some old stuff in storage where I can find it again, shredding a mountain of old junk, and putting some ancient keepsakes in a better storage spot for archival type stuff.

I used some white 1" duct tape to make labels for the various ring binders I've been using to keep various categories of stuff stored, and I created a system of keeping incoming mail/ongoing to-do's organized. I created a calendar/inbox kind of ring binder so I can track my schedule and keep up with stuff that needs reminders.

Plus, I now have that other desk in the parlor and am thinking of using it for a jigsaw puzzle. Might get a piece of foam core board or two to enlarge the table top, since the pieces might not show up well on the brown tabletop.

Such a nice feeling. Weirdly, I didn't sleep well last night. Would have thought I'd have been tired.

Nice job!! I could have written this post. Most of my decluttering projects start with moving a piece of furniture.

[bzar]

Originally Posted by Izzy

jeannie,

I applied for my current job 7 years ago. But, I do not forget how long it took me to get this job and how I went months without getting so much of a phone interview.

Hi Izzy, thank you for your input and ideas - good things to consider. what was the key factor when you eventually landed your current position? could you tell what you might have had that made the hiring manager select you?