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Old 12-23-16, 06:22 PM  
firmbogie
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Elmhurst Illinois
OT dealing with heartbreak during the holidays

My beloved brother-in-law, my sister's husband was diagnosed with grade 4 glioblastoma Thanksgiving week. He had a craniotomy Nov 21st. Due to start chemo/radiation next week. This type of cancer comes with a. grim prognosis. They are determined to remain optimistic.
I can''t seem to stop crying. I did Tilak's Altar of the Heart today and bawled like a baby afterwards. He is a vital fit 55 year old. I must do Christmas for my family, but BIL is not strong enough to participate. I literally don't know I'm going to get through the weekend. All thoughts and prayers are appreciated.
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Old 12-23-16, 06:31 PM  
sherry7899
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Mary, I am so very, very sorry-sending you a lot of hugs I hope the yoga will help-it is totally understandable to break down.

It has been a very bad year. Two of our friends passed away, and a friend I had in high school lost her 13 year old son. Christmas will be very difficult for a lot of people this year.

Sherry
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Old 12-23-16, 06:32 PM  
BamaTanya
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Mary. I'm so sorry your family is going through this dark valley.
I don't think there is a right way to handle it. I remember that my mother went on hospice care right around Thanksgiving and was unable to eat. It was hard to enjoy -- even participate in the feast when she couldn't eat.
For me, I just tried to focus on what she would want me to do. I felt I was doing the things she couldn't do for family, that she was passing the joy of the preparations to me. It became an honor to me.
I don't know how you will handle it, but you will find a way. Focus on the time together. It is limited for all of us. Cherish every moment, even if it brings tears.
Sending hugs and prayers.
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Old 12-23-16, 06:45 PM  
cyana
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Mary - I am so sorry to hear about your BIL. 2016 has been a difficult year for many on the Forum with illnesses and loss of family and loved ones.

I agree with Tanya - there isn't a "right" way or a one-size-fits-all way of working through these situations.

Take care of yourself. Take a deep breath. Take a walk. Do yoga. Whatever feels right for you. And cry when you need to.

Be present. Play it by ear and see what sort of support your sister and BIL might need. When he starts treatment, might they need help with transportation, food (groceries and/or food preparation), pet care, errands, housework, picking up prescriptions from the pharmacy?

You and your family will be in my thoughts.
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Old 12-23-16, 06:57 PM  
Jeanne Marie
 
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Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Atlanta, Ga.
(((Mary)))

I'm so very sorry. That is terrible news, and it makes it harder when it happens during the holidays. Holidays just seem to magnify everything.

This will be my second Christmas without my dear DH. He didn't pass during the Christmas season, but he got sick the week before Christmas and passed the following February... so this time of year brings back tenfold, the memories of all those trying times. I can't stop replaying in my mind his last Christmas with us, how sick he was, and how we didn't even know it was his last Christmas at the time.

Cherish your time with your BIL. Nobody knows the future, so keep your spirits up and be as optimistic as you can. I am sending you and your family all my thoughts and prayers.
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Old 12-23-16, 07:07 PM  
firmbogie
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Elmhurst Illinois
Thank you from the bottom of my heart everyone. If I feel tears coming I will just leave the room. I am there for them whatever they need.
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Old 12-23-16, 07:57 PM  
FitBoop
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Join Date: Nov 2001
((HUGS)), Mary and Jeanne Marie, and everyone who is having a tough time during the holiday season.

As we get older and deal with illness and loss of friends and family, we learn that we have to take life one day at a time. It is important to have goals and dreams for the future, but the only sure thing is the present moment. So we need to seek joy in every moment, even in the face of hardship. It gets harder with each loss, but we cannot give up hope.
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Old 12-23-16, 08:30 PM  
cherimac
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Georgia
My prayers are with you. My husband lost one of his dearest friends to that so I know how hard that diagnosis is to hear. (((HUGS)))
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Old 12-23-16, 10:32 PM  
deineira
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Sending thoughts and prayers to all who are experiencing sadness and loss this holiday.
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Old 12-23-16, 10:43 PM  
jenn38
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: accord ny
Praying for your family. (((Mary))))
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