I totally agree with Pam. From all the communication I have had over the years the folks who chose to participate enjoyed the process of getting to know the other person on another level and enjoyed the whole time spent putting a package together. Whenever someone doesn't have the time, funds too limited, or whatever the reason, then it's probably best if they choose to not participate. I haven't even done it every year(not felt pressured to) but love reading about those who do!

It has never read like a competition or felt like a competition...but I am sure that has everything to do with the perspective and approach of the participants. I still enjoy such a great connection with my VF gift exchangers.

It COULD be a competition..but it hasn't been. (I have been in enough office environments where that WAS true... groan!)

Sherry I know the stress has nothing to do with any purported misaligned focus on the season but everything to do with your recent heartbreaking loss. You are an amazing person and are very giving in the role of VF elf but I totally understand if it would be too taxing for you to continue this year in that role. Great big hugs to you as you decide!!!

Yes! I'm in! Sending my email later today :sun:

Thank you for the support. I really appreciate it. I lost three friends this year after losing my husband and mother. It has not been a good year. Let's get back to a happier discussion!

Oh, Sherry, please know you and your son are in my prayers. You have been such a huge part of VF that we are all grieving with you.

I'm not complaining.

you are still grieving of your loved ones and I did not know this is what you were referring to.. So, if you explained your why, I would have understood more.

The more a person knows the more they understand.

I'm a Christian and my beliefs about Christmas and give giving and getting into debt or trying to please people, is my stance against the whole extravaganza.

Plus, I already don't have these family members so I do know how it feels.
Maybe understand my why about the whole i got this and I got that and etc.

I'm always going to bring it back around to the real, purpose for the Season and that is Jesus' birth.

let me know if I need to explain more.

Cheryl,I am not going to waste my time or breath. I do not owe any explanation to you. This is not a gift exchange in a religious group. That would serve your needs and ideals better. We are not even supposed to discuss religion here.

No one ever suggested going into debt to exchange gifts here. This is supposed to be a happy thing. You are turning it into something else. It is all in your head. I am done talking to you.

In order to give the correct replies people have to be on the same page.
I didn't ask for an explanation. I'm not one to read about what's going on to know about your losses.. So, understand where I'm coming from.. Had I known, I would have replied respectfully to your plight.

Regardless of Sherry's specific situation (for which you did, indeed, ask her to explain), your recent comments have added nothing to the topic at hand. There is no need to force your opinions or pass judgment on anyone for choosing to exchange gifts or their reasons for doing so or not doing so. You do not need to know everyone's situation in order to be respectful. Stop posting comments that are intended only to stir the pot and aggravate others.

Please let this thread get back to its original intent so it doesn't get shut down.

Sure sounds like an expectation or asking for an explanation...when really she's given more than enough information by just saying she didn't know if she could ...

I certainly don't think anyone should have to fully explain in order to receive a respectful response from others.

I also don't think any of us need a full understanding for Sherry to decide not to serve in the role of elf this year.


Anywhoo let's get back to a more enjoyable discussion as Sherry suggested and post who is in this year as Anne's original post indicates the rules of the exchange are !

This exchange has worked BEAUTIFULLY for years because of the cheerful givers on this forum! :music:

never said anything disrespectful. :) Not stirring any pot. whatever that is. Not intending to aggravate others. Or you.:) Not forcing anything. Just explaining.

Giving suggestions.. I guess I'm hitting some nerves in you. Best way for this to stop is not to reply and get on with suggestions to make the exchange pleasant for all