Have you seen someone lose weight and they looked better before?.,
I'm not talking about someone who loses weight Because of illness or stress.
A colleague lost 82 pounds in 6.5 months, and she looked better heavy. It aged her twenty years. She did it exercising and counting calories. |
I have a friend who lost 100 lbs. It has aged her as she’s much more wrinkled and has a lot of loose skin. But IMO is not about that....it’s about being healthier, more mobile, and having fewer aches and pains.
|
From what I understand, age has a lot to do with the skin bouncing back. I wonder how much genetics plays a role too?
|
Kind of. I think there are a couple of things going on. Most people in the US are overweight, so there are a lot of people who see someone lose a lot of weight think they look too thin, unhealthy. Our sense of what is normal is skewed to overweight. I have heard people say someone looks bad after weight loss where I think they look fantastic. So I think it can be in the eye of the beholder.
But if someone really does look a little gaunt, I think that if they maintain, it kind of balances out. Skin tightens up a little and the body gets used to a new way of being and they look better after a while at the same weight. The person mentioned in the first post lost more than 12 pounds a month, which is very fast weight loss. Their appearance probably has a lot to do with that, and perhaps in the way that they lost it, though we can’t talk about that, but certain types of restrictions in my opinion can make one look especially gaunt for a while. Quote:
|
She doesn't look gaunt. She's in her early 40's.
|
Quote:
|
It may be that you were used to seeing her a certain way and now she looks different. Sometimes it can take a while to get used to changes and it hasn’t been that long. Personally that would be an opinion that I wouldn’t share.
Jane |
Quote:
|
I think that after undergoing a life-changing event* which includes weight loss, people may need to consider getting a makeover. it's because they're used to wearing their previous clothing, doing their make-up a certain way, mentally thinking a certain way. "clothes" makes the man, really.
the before/after we see in the magazines has the "after" picture with the person having a new hairdo, new makeup, new clothes, right? we've come to expect to see our friends presented that way too. *illness, recovery from illness, etc. can be in this category too. Edited to add: i'm not saying everyone needs a makeover - i mean they should just re-evaluate how they look and consider how they can adapt to their new look, which might include getting suggestions from an independent 3rd party. :) |
My personal aesthetic sense is a bit unconventional--although I don't have examples in the flesh, as it were, I've seen infomercials and other things where I thought the "before" picture better-looking than the "after." For a number of reasons, I'm sure that the reason isn't about being accustomed to seeing "overweight" people.
(If we'll discuss skewed views, don't forget the multiple stories about people who did have "bad," unintended weight loss and got complimented for it. :( I'm one of them myself: after a series of health-related problems, I got more compliments for my less capable, less fit, but evidently "thinner" figure than for my previous fitter and healthier body, which was two waist sizes larger. :p I wasn't personally saddened, but I don't like this kind of thinking and never "accepted" the attempted compliments. I'm not trying to change the subject of this thread, but I do wish to maintain that such impressions can be deceiving.) One component of my preferences (I prefer "fuller" faces) reminds me: we've had threads about some saying that as a woman ages, she has to choose between her butt and her face. :eek: In other words, if a woman does what makes her butt look supposedly more attractive, her face becomes supposedly less attractive, and vice versa. I do not wish at all to promote that viewpoint or its various questionable assumptions, but I see possible connections between this discussion and those others. |
Quote:
I think Bzar has a good point about the need to reassess hair style, makeup and clothing styles post weight loss. |
I lost 45 lbs 6 years ago when I was 56 so I did look a little gaunt at first and my skin was a little loose for awhile. But eventually the skin caught up and I did gain a few lbs back and that did help I think. So it does take time for everything to settle in at the new weight especially as we get older.
|
I have a male friend who recently lost 100+ pounds through dieting. He is still unhappy with his body because he feels there's more to lose. I think he's just got loose skin and is "skinny fat" -- I've encouraged him to start building muscle, but he refuses because it'll "raise the # on the scale" and that's all he's concerned with. :(
|
My thoughts
I name one person that has had the dramatic weight change and look worse is Al Roker. I don't know how to spell his name. I guess I first learned of him rom watching the news. He was big man. Now that he has lost weight, He can't do a make over like woman. He can't get a wig or new lipstick, but to me, his weight loss makes him look worse. He looks tired and unhealthy. but that is in each persons opinion.
I see him and Jillian are at the weight loss battle again and her saying he didn't lose the weight by himself. or through exercise. I think Kristy Aly also is one that did not do well with weight change. I guess how we first are introduced to someone is how we will continue to see them. And when they make a change, we don' like it |
the mental aspect might be something to consider addressing - mentally adapting to your new body.
one of my male co-workers had lost a significant amount of weight prior to when i met him. he had been at the lower weight for about 3-4 years before we met. he was happy and healthy, although he wondered why he hadn't found anyone to date in all that time (he's married now with a son :)). i suggested that he might still think of himself as overweight and unworthy to date in his mind, and after considering that idea, agreed. this co-worker is young enough to be my son, and he took kindly to my advice, like from a "mom." about being skinny-fat - building muscle gradually might help tighten the loose skin and improve your body composition at the cellular level. |
Quote:
|
Quote:
But I also have to say that Al Roker is the perfect example of what I was talking about with perception. He is still a big man, not wasting away, and he now runs marathons and feels better. He was morbidly obese and every day he now chooses not to be, which is his journey, so really it doesn’t matter how anyone thinks he looks but how he thinks he looks and feels. But I think he looks great and younger than his age. |
As someone who has lost 120 pounds, it depressed me opening up this thread. I have to look in the mirror every day and try not to let my loose skin get to me. I was at my heaviest weight after the birth of my son almost 6 years ago. I lost 80 pounds the first year, then 20 the next year and then another 20 pounds the third year. I was in my late thirties and did this through eating better and exercise. I was exclusively doing The Firm (Benson era) for the first year then after first year it was 90% or more of doing The Firm. Unfortunately, you can only tone and firm up so much after a big weight loss. I know a lot of it has to do with genetics and not just age. It's been really hard for me having to lose all that weight only to be left with loose skin.
|
I have a friend who well, I think she lost about 10-15lbs to much. She now has visible collarbones, and you can sort of see her ribs when she's in her two piece swimsuit. She just doesn't look as healthy as she did a few pounds up.
I never say anything to her, cause well, she thinks she looks good, and she's maintained this weight well. |
I don't think, personally, that what I think of anyone's appearance should matter one whit to them. Whether they gain or lose weight, their appearance will change, and whether that change is for the better or for the worse is a matter of opinion. And mine is not important.
If they are HEALTHIER, who cares what they look like? They are living IN that body; they know what it feels like. (Of course, there are healthy and unhealthy ways to lose weight. Not everyone who loses weight does so in a balanced, healthy, and maintainable way.) |
We live in such a sin sick world that we are always judging someone. I had and have prayed I stop this. I think it’s unhealthy thoughts. I’m sorry I let my thoughts get me to post in this thread. You’re right Susan, what does it matter? If they are healthy that is more important then my thoughts on their outward appearance.
|
Quote:
I also think it should be about health. H_Lo, I'm so sorry you had that reaction to this thread -- you should be so proud of yourself, feel so great and healthy!! |
Quote:
|
I had to google al roker to recall who he was compared to before. he looks great!
|
Quote:
Quote:
Thank you! You guys brought tears to my eyes with your kindness!!! :sun: |
Quote:
|
Quote:
Like, sure John Goodman (the actor) might have a few more wrinkles since he's lost weight, but he's possibly added another decade to this life, and I'm sure he feels much better. That's what really matters. Quote:
|
Quote:
Quote:
|
Quote:
Donna |
Quote:
Big congratulations to you :music::music::music: |
The work , the world, it’s a vicious cycle. They all feed off of each other. All rolling on peoples insecurities.
|
My friend lost her weight very rapidly with bariatric surgery. Not ideal IMO as it’s invasive, but that was her choice and I respect that. She had significant joint issues, borderline diabetes, and high blood pressure, all of which have vastly improved. Most importantly she feels better and is enjoying greater mobility and activity. I love to see that and she definitely feels it’s worth a few extra wrinkles....now she’s as wrinkled as I am, hahaha. :p
|
As someone who lost 40 lbs due to illness (celiac disease) and have everyone tell me how fabulous I looked, well, I think this thread proves the illness and disease may be normal if people in our society have to find flaws in others who lost weight the healthy way, and are happy for people who did it getting sick.
Hey, but NO LOOSE SKIN! EVERYONE, GET AN AUTOIMMUNE DISORDER, GO GET CANCER, OR JUST EAT A TAPEWORM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
I've been a multitude of sizes. I was the heavy kid, teen, adult. When I was diagnosed with Graves disease, I lost a bunch of weight without dieting or exercise because my heart was in overdrive.
After my diagnosis, I gained a ton of it back because I hadn't changed my diet. That's what lead me to overhaul my diet and turn to exercise as a positive coping mechanism. Due to my medication, I have periods of gain or loss. At this point, I'm just looking to a happy medium. Then I've had vitiligo since childhood. I was diagnosed at four years old so there has never been a memory where my skin wasn't spotted. I now have vitiligo universalis, what is what Michael Jackson had later in life. I have no melanin left in my skin. Tied to my vitiligo is poliosis where my hair has also lost melanin and I've also dealt with alopecia. I had to shave my head at one point because I had lost so much hair. Because of all this, I can tell the sincerity of people when they are giving me an actual compliment or a back handed compliment. At my heaviest, I knew I had to do something about it but didn't know how to start. Consider yourself blessed if you've never been in that position or a position of illness! Trust me, so many people who struggle with weight turned to food to cope with whatever trauma they've experienced. I do love this new body acceptance movement because for the first time in my life, I see myself reflected in others. And not specific to one facet of who I am but multiple facets of who I am and who so many of us are, at various stages of our lives! :heart::heart::heart: |
I've been thinking about this post since I first read it yesterday. I find it disturbing and judgmental. We are all going to age, whether we like it or not. Some of us age better than others. Yes, sometimes losing weight and the fat on our faces makes us look older. Personally I'd rather look older but be healthy and fit.
Women have to stop judging other women. Maybe that's why I prefer the company of animals and men more than most women. Diane |
Quote:
Sand, I am so sorry for how much you have been through :love::love::love: I hate how there is such an emphasis on looks in our society, especially for aging women. How about being grateful just to be alive-what does it matter if our face looks older? My husband had a friend who's wife passed at aged 31 from ovarian cancer, leaving behind their eight month old son. I'm sure he wouldn't care how old she looked if she were still alive. |
I'm sorry if it seems like I hijacked this thread. I was only posting my experience on the flip side. I'm a long time lurker and don't post things too frequently.
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
|
Quote:
|
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:56 AM. |
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
© 2009 Video Fitness