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-   -   Have you seen someone lose weight and they looked better before?., (http://forum.videofitness.com/showthread.php?t=226808)

Dabbadooey 09-16-19 04:01 PM

Have you seen someone lose weight and they looked better before?.,
 
I'm not talking about someone who loses weight Because of illness or stress.
A colleague lost 82 pounds in 6.5 months, and she looked better heavy. It aged her twenty years. She did it exercising and counting calories.

yogapam 09-16-19 04:15 PM

I have a friend who lost 100 lbs. It has aged her as sheís much more wrinkled and has a lot of loose skin. But IMO is not about that....itís about being healthier, more mobile, and having fewer aches and pains.

pcdoctor01 09-16-19 04:24 PM

From what I understand, age has a lot to do with the skin bouncing back. I wonder how much genetics plays a role too?

prettyinpink 09-16-19 04:32 PM

Kind of. I think there are a couple of things going on. Most people in the US are overweight, so there are a lot of people who see someone lose a lot of weight think they look too thin, unhealthy. Our sense of what is normal is skewed to overweight. I have heard people say someone looks bad after weight loss where I think they look fantastic. So I think it can be in the eye of the beholder.

But if someone really does look a little gaunt, I think that if they maintain, it kind of balances out. Skin tightens up a little and the body gets used to a new way of being and they look better after a while at the same weight. The person mentioned in the first post lost more than 12 pounds a month, which is very fast weight loss. Their appearance probably has a lot to do with that, and perhaps in the way that they lost it, though we can’t talk about that, but certain types of restrictions in my opinion can make one look especially gaunt for a while.

Quote:

Originally Posted by yogapam (Post 2838534)
But IMO is not about that....it’s about being healthier, more mobile, and having fewer aches and pains.

This.

Dabbadooey 09-16-19 06:28 PM

She doesn't look gaunt. She's in her early 40's.

prettyinpink 09-16-19 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dabbadooey (Post 2838556)
She doesn't look gaunt. She's in her early 40's.

I might be misunderstanding. To me gaunt means too thin for your frame, kind of drawn, and yes, looking older than you are. I guess I donít know what you mean.

Dontmindthemess 09-16-19 07:39 PM

It may be that you were used to seeing her a certain way and now she looks different. Sometimes it can take a while to get used to changes and it hasnít been that long. Personally that would be an opinion that I wouldnít share.

Jane

Demeris 09-16-19 07:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by prettyinpink (Post 2838537)
Kind of. I think there are a couple of things going on. Most people in the US are overweight, so there are a lot of people who see someone lose a lot of weight think they look too thin, unhealthy. Our sense of what is normal is skewed to overweight. I have heard people say someone looks bad after weight loss where I think they look fantastic. So I think it can be in the eye of the beholder.

I have to agree with this.

bzar 09-16-19 07:57 PM

I think that after undergoing a life-changing event* which includes weight loss, people may need to consider getting a makeover. it's because they're used to wearing their previous clothing, doing their make-up a certain way, mentally thinking a certain way. "clothes" makes the man, really.

the before/after we see in the magazines has the "after" picture with the person having a new hairdo, new makeup, new clothes, right? we've come to expect to see our friends presented that way too.

*illness, recovery from illness, etc. can be in this category too.

Edited to add: i'm not saying everyone needs a makeover - i mean they should just re-evaluate how they look and consider how they can adapt to their new look, which might include getting suggestions from an independent 3rd party. :)

hch 09-16-19 08:59 PM

My personal aesthetic sense is a bit unconventional--although I don't have examples in the flesh, as it were, I've seen infomercials and other things where I thought the "before" picture better-looking than the "after." For a number of reasons, I'm sure that the reason isn't about being accustomed to seeing "overweight" people.

(If we'll discuss skewed views, don't forget the multiple stories about people who did have "bad," unintended weight loss and got complimented for it. :( I'm one of them myself: after a series of health-related problems, I got more compliments for my less capable, less fit, but evidently "thinner" figure than for my previous fitter and healthier body, which was two waist sizes larger. :p I wasn't personally saddened, but I don't like this kind of thinking and never "accepted" the attempted compliments. I'm not trying to change the subject of this thread, but I do wish to maintain that such impressions can be deceiving.)

One component of my preferences (I prefer "fuller" faces) reminds me: we've had threads about some saying that as a woman ages, she has to choose between her butt and her face. :eek: In other words, if a woman does what makes her butt look supposedly more attractive, her face becomes supposedly less attractive, and vice versa. I do not wish at all to promote that viewpoint or its various questionable assumptions, but I see possible connections between this discussion and those others.

Lannette 09-17-19 05:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dabbadooey (Post 2838531)
I'm not talking about someone who loses weight Because of illness or stress.
A colleague lost 82 pounds in 6.5 months, and she looked better heavy. It aged her twenty years. She did it exercising and counting calories.

That was a pretty fast weight loss. I bet her body is still recalibrating.

I think Bzar has a good point about the need to reassess hair style, makeup and clothing styles post weight loss.

summer breeze 09-17-19 08:24 AM

I lost 45 lbs 6 years ago when I was 56 so I did look a little gaunt at first and my skin was a little loose for awhile. But eventually the skin caught up and I did gain a few lbs back and that did help I think. So it does take time for everything to settle in at the new weight especially as we get older.

alisoncooks 09-17-19 09:22 AM

I have a male friend who recently lost 100+ pounds through dieting. He is still unhappy with his body because he feels there's more to lose. I think he's just got loose skin and is "skinny fat" -- I've encouraged him to start building muscle, but he refuses because it'll "raise the # on the scale" and that's all he's concerned with. :(

tytbody 09-17-19 10:23 AM

My thoughts
 
I name one person that has had the dramatic weight change and look worse is Al Roker. I don't know how to spell his name. I guess I first learned of him rom watching the news. He was big man. Now that he has lost weight, He can't do a make over like woman. He can't get a wig or new lipstick, but to me, his weight loss makes him look worse. He looks tired and unhealthy. but that is in each persons opinion.

I see him and Jillian are at the weight loss battle again and her saying he didn't lose the weight by himself. or through exercise.

I think Kristy Aly also is one that did not do well with weight change. I guess how we first are introduced to someone is how we will continue to see them. And when they make a change, we don' like it

bzar 09-17-19 10:26 AM

the mental aspect might be something to consider addressing - mentally adapting to your new body.

one of my male co-workers had lost a significant amount of weight prior to when i met him. he had been at the lower weight for about 3-4 years before we met. he was happy and healthy, although he wondered why he hadn't found anyone to date in all that time (he's married now with a son :)).

i suggested that he might still think of himself as overweight and unworthy to date in his mind, and after considering that idea, agreed. this co-worker is young enough to be my son, and he took kindly to my advice, like from a "mom."

about being skinny-fat - building muscle gradually might help tighten the loose skin and improve your body composition at the cellular level.

Lannette 09-17-19 10:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bzar (Post 2838692)
the mental aspect might be something to consider addressing - mentally adapting to your new body.

one of my male co-workers had lost a significant amount of weight prior to when i met him. he had been at the lower weight for about 3-4 years before we met. he was happy and healthy, although he wondered why he hadn't found anyone to date in all that time (he's married now with a son :)).

i suggested that he might still think of himself as overweight and unworthy to date in his mind, and after considering that idea, agreed. this co-worker is young enough to be my son, and he took kindly to my advice, like from a "mom."

Jeannine, that was an incredibly kind approach to take. :sun:

prettyinpink 09-17-19 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bzar (Post 2838692)
the mental aspect might be something to consider addressing - mentally adapting to your new body.

one of my male co-workers had lost a significant amount of weight prior to when i met him. he had been at the lower weight for about 3-4 years before we met. he was happy and healthy, although he wondered why he hadn't found anyone to date in all that time (he's married now with a son :)).

i suggested that he might still think of himself as overweight and unworthy to date in his mind, and after considering that idea, agreed. this co-worker is young enough to be my son, and he took kindly to my advice, like from a "mom."

about being skinny-fat - building muscle gradually might help tighten the loose skin and improve your body composition at the cellular level.

I think this is a great insight.

But I also have to say that Al Roker is the perfect example of what I was talking about with perception. He is still a big man, not wasting away, and he now runs marathons and feels better. He was morbidly obese and every day he now chooses not to be, which is his journey, so really it doesn’t matter how anyone thinks he looks but how he thinks he looks and feels. But I think he looks great and younger than his age.

H_Lo 09-17-19 11:41 AM

As someone who has lost 120 pounds, it depressed me opening up this thread. I have to look in the mirror every day and try not to let my loose skin get to me. I was at my heaviest weight after the birth of my son almost 6 years ago. I lost 80 pounds the first year, then 20 the next year and then another 20 pounds the third year. I was in my late thirties and did this through eating better and exercise. I was exclusively doing The Firm (Benson era) for the first year then after first year it was 90% or more of doing The Firm. Unfortunately, you can only tone and firm up so much after a big weight loss. I know a lot of it has to do with genetics and not just age. It's been really hard for me having to lose all that weight only to be left with loose skin.

rhbrand 09-17-19 11:59 AM

I have a friend who well, I think she lost about 10-15lbs to much. She now has visible collarbones, and you can sort of see her ribs when she's in her two piece swimsuit. She just doesn't look as healthy as she did a few pounds up.

I never say anything to her, cause well, she thinks she looks good, and she's maintained this weight well.

susan p 09-17-19 12:12 PM

I don't think, personally, that what I think of anyone's appearance should matter one whit to them. Whether they gain or lose weight, their appearance will change, and whether that change is for the better or for the worse is a matter of opinion. And mine is not important.

If they are HEALTHIER, who cares what they look like? They are living IN that body; they know what it feels like.

(Of course, there are healthy and unhealthy ways to lose weight. Not everyone who loses weight does so in a balanced, healthy, and maintainable way.)

tytbody 09-17-19 12:30 PM

We live in such a sin sick world that we are always judging someone. I had and have prayed I stop this. I think itís unhealthy thoughts. Iím sorry I let my thoughts get me to post in this thread. Youíre right Susan, what does it matter? If they are healthy that is more important then my thoughts on their outward appearance.

bee 09-17-19 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by prettyinpink (Post 2838698)
But I also have to say that Al Roker is the perfect example of what I was talking about with perception. He is still a big man, not wasting away, and he now runs marathons and feels better. He was morbidly obese and every day he now chooses not to be, which is his journey, so really it doesnít matter how anyone thinks he looks but how he thinks he looks and feels. But I think he looks great and younger than his age.

I also think Al Roker looks great, and I wonder if tytbody has the perception that he looks older is because he IS older -- he lost the weight quite a while ago, right? So the photos being compared probably have him at fairly different ages.

I also think it should be about health. H_Lo, I'm so sorry you had that reaction to this thread -- you should be so proud of yourself, feel so great and healthy!!

tytbody 09-17-19 12:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by H_Lo (Post 2838712)
As someone who has lost 120 pounds, it depressed me opening up this thread. I have to look in the mirror every day and try not to let my loose skin get to me. I was at my heaviest weight after the birth of my son almost 6 years ago. I lost 80 pounds the first year, then 20 the next year and then another 20 pounds the third year. I was in my late thirties and did this through eating better and exercise. I was exclusively doing The Firm (Benson era) for the first year then after first year it was 90% or more of doing The Firm. Unfortunately, you can only tone and firm up so much after a big weight loss. I know a lot of it has to do with genetics and not just age. It's been really hard for me having to lose all that weight only to be left with loose skin.

http://yoursmiles.org/tsmile/hug/t4608.gif

bzar 09-17-19 01:06 PM

I had to google al roker to recall who he was compared to before. he looks great!

H_Lo 09-17-19 01:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bee (Post 2838724)
I also think it should be about health. H_Lo, I'm so sorry you had that reaction to this thread -- you should be so proud of yourself, feel so great and healthy!!


Quote:

Originally Posted by tytbody (Post 2838728)


Thank you! You guys brought tears to my eyes with your kindness!!! :sun:

Jennifer P. 09-17-19 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by H_Lo (Post 2838712)
As someone who has lost 120 pounds, it depressed me opening up this thread. I have to look in the mirror every day and try not to let my loose skin get to me. I was at my heaviest weight after the birth of my son almost 6 years ago. I lost 80 pounds the first year, then 20 the next year and then another 20 pounds the third year. I was in my late thirties and did this through eating better and exercise. I was exclusively doing The Firm (Benson era) for the first year then after first year it was 90% or more of doing The Firm. Unfortunately, you can only tone and firm up so much after a big weight loss. I know a lot of it has to do with genetics and not just age. It's been really hard for me having to lose all that weight only to be left with loose skin.

Don't look at your loose skin, just concentrate on how you feel. I bet you feel a lot better now, are healthier, and have more fun, considering you have at least one hobby to look forward to (exercising! :o) Congratulations!

leigh1673 09-17-19 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by susan p (Post 2838719)
I don't think, personally, that what I think of anyone's appearance should matter one whit to them. Whether they gain or lose weight, their appearance will change, and whether that change is for the better or for the worse is a matter of opinion. And mine is not important.

If they are HEALTHIER, who cares what they look like? They are living IN that body; they know what it feels like.

(Of course, there are healthy and unhealthy ways to lose weight. Not everyone who loses weight does so in a balanced, healthy, and maintainable way.)

This! Who am I to judge somebody else's aesthetics? Looks are subjective anyway.

Like, sure John Goodman (the actor) might have a few more wrinkles since he's lost weight, but he's possibly added another decade to this life, and I'm sure he feels much better. That's what really matters.

Quote:

As someone who has lost 120 pounds, it depressed me opening up this thread. I have to look in the mirror every day and try not to let my loose skin get to me. I was at my heaviest weight after the birth of my son almost 6 years ago. I lost 80 pounds the first year, then 20 the next year and then another 20 pounds the third year. I was in my late thirties and did this through eating better and exercise. I was exclusively doing The Firm (Benson era) for the first year then after first year it was 90% or more of doing The Firm. Unfortunately, you can only tone and firm up so much after a big weight loss. I know a lot of it has to do with genetics and not just age. It's been really hard for me having to lose all that weight only to be left with loose skin.
Please do not let anybody get you down! You have done an AMAZING job losing weight and I'm sure you are MUCH vibrant and healthier now. Trust and believe that most people are only seeing the fruits of your accomplishments, and not the excess skin (I know we are our own worst critics; it's hard to quiet those negative thoughts sometimes).

Lannette 09-17-19 02:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by H_Lo (Post 2838712)
As someone who has lost 120 pounds, it depressed me opening up this thread. I have to look in the mirror every day and try not to let my loose skin get to me. I was at my heaviest weight after the birth of my son almost 6 years ago. I lost 80 pounds the first year, then 20 the next year and then another 20 pounds the third year. I was in my late thirties and did this through eating better and exercise. I was exclusively doing The Firm (Benson era) for the first year then after first year it was 90% or more of doing The Firm. Unfortunately, you can only tone and firm up so much after a big weight loss. I know a lot of it has to do with genetics and not just age. It's been really hard for me having to lose all that weight only to be left with loose skin.

Congratulations on your weight loss! So few are able to achieve what you have achieved! Iím sorry that this thread made you feel depressed.
Quote:

Originally Posted by susan p (Post 2838719)
I don't think, personally, that what I think of anyone's appearance should matter one whit to them. Whether they gain or lose weight, their appearance will change, and whether that change is for the better or for the worse is a matter of opinion. And mine is not important.

If they are HEALTHIER, who cares what they look like? They are living IN that body; they know what it feels like.

(Of course, there are healthy and unhealthy ways to lose weight. Not everyone who loses weight does so in a balanced, healthy, and maintainable way.)

Well said!

Sollamyn 09-17-19 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by susan p (Post 2838719)
I don't think, personally, that what I think of anyone's appearance should matter one whit to them. Whether they gain or lose weight, their appearance will change, and whether that change is for the better or for the worse is a matter of opinion. And mine is not important.

If they are HEALTHIER, who cares what they look like? They are living IN that body; they know what it feels like.

(Of course, there are healthy and unhealthy ways to lose weight. Not everyone who loses weight does so in a balanced, healthy, and maintainable way.)

Agree! For most people, purposely losing excess fat (not vanity pounds) is a good thing. They shouldn't have to wonder if people are judging them by their looks after they've worked so hard to get healthy.

Donna

Taiga 09-17-19 06:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by H_Lo (Post 2838712)
As someone who has lost 120 pounds, it depressed me opening up this thread. I have to look in the mirror every day and try not to let my loose skin get to me. I was at my heaviest weight after the birth of my son almost 6 years ago. I lost 80 pounds the first year, then 20 the next year and then another 20 pounds the third year. I was in my late thirties and did this through eating better and exercise. I was exclusively doing The Firm (Benson era) for the first year then after first year it was 90% or more of doing The Firm. Unfortunately, you can only tone and firm up so much after a big weight loss. I know a lot of it has to do with genetics and not just age. It's been really hard for me having to lose all that weight only to be left with loose skin.

You have a son :love::love: You accomplished so much and you improved your chances of being there for him---both in quality and quantity of life. You can go places and do things that were out of reach until you persevered. Celebrate the strength in your muscles & lungs and ignore the negative stuff. The modern world and its social media can be full of CR*P. It will tell you that you're too fat, too skinny, too smooth, too wrinkly, too bulky etc whatever. There will always be some complaint or criticism out there. So don't take advice from that crowd! Decide what thoughts make you HAPPY and don't give up one golden moment of your life to shallow observers. You have plenty of power and it all starts with keeping them out of your head and helpless :sun:

Big congratulations to you :music::music::music:

tytbody 09-17-19 06:26 PM

The work , the world, itís a vicious cycle. They all feed off of each other. All rolling on peoples insecurities.

yogapam 09-17-19 06:51 PM

My friend lost her weight very rapidly with bariatric surgery. Not ideal IMO as itís invasive, but that was her choice and I respect that. She had significant joint issues, borderline diabetes, and high blood pressure, all of which have vastly improved. Most importantly she feels better and is enjoying greater mobility and activity. I love to see that and she definitely feels itís worth a few extra wrinkles....now sheís as wrinkled as I am, hahaha. :p

beyond.omega 09-17-19 08:49 PM

As someone who lost 40 lbs due to illness (celiac disease) and have everyone tell me how fabulous I looked, well, I think this thread proves the illness and disease may be normal if people in our society have to find flaws in others who lost weight the healthy way, and are happy for people who did it getting sick.

Hey, but NO LOOSE SKIN! EVERYONE, GET AN AUTOIMMUNE DISORDER, GO GET CANCER, OR JUST EAT A TAPEWORM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sand 09-18-19 12:10 AM

I've been a multitude of sizes. I was the heavy kid, teen, adult. When I was diagnosed with Graves disease, I lost a bunch of weight without dieting or exercise because my heart was in overdrive.

After my diagnosis, I gained a ton of it back because I hadn't changed my diet. That's what lead me to overhaul my diet and turn to exercise as a positive coping mechanism. Due to my medication, I have periods of gain or loss. At this point, I'm just looking to a happy medium.

Then I've had vitiligo since childhood. I was diagnosed at four years old so there has never been a memory where my skin wasn't spotted. I now have vitiligo universalis, what is what Michael Jackson had later in life. I have no melanin left in my skin. Tied to my vitiligo is poliosis where my hair has also lost melanin and I've also dealt with alopecia. I had to shave my head at one point because I had lost so much hair.

Because of all this, I can tell the sincerity of people when they are giving me an actual compliment or a back handed compliment. At my heaviest, I knew I had to do something about it but didn't know how to start.

Consider yourself blessed if you've never been in that position or a position of illness! Trust me, so many people who struggle with weight turned to food to cope with whatever trauma they've experienced.

I do love this new body acceptance movement because for the first time in my life, I see myself reflected in others. And not specific to one facet of who I am but multiple facets of who I am and who so many of us are, at various stages of our lives! :heart::heart::heart:

amoodygirl 09-18-19 05:44 AM

I've been thinking about this post since I first read it yesterday. I find it disturbing and judgmental. We are all going to age, whether we like it or not. Some of us age better than others. Yes, sometimes losing weight and the fat on our faces makes us look older. Personally I'd rather look older but be healthy and fit.

Women have to stop judging other women. Maybe that's why I prefer the company of animals and men more than most women.

Diane

sherry7899 09-18-19 05:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amoodygirl (Post 2838872)
I've been thinking about this post since I first read it yesterday. I find it disturbing and judgmental. We are all going to age, whether we like it or not. Some of us age better than others. Yes, sometimes losing weight and the fat on our faces makes us look older. Personally I'd rather look older but be healthy and fit.

Women have to stop judging other women. Maybe that's why I prefer the company of animals and men more than most women.

Diane

Well said!

Sand, I am so sorry for how much you have been through :love::love::love:

I hate how there is such an emphasis on looks in our society, especially for aging women. How about being grateful just to be alive-what does it matter if our face looks older? My husband had a friend who's wife passed at aged 31 from ovarian cancer, leaving behind their eight month old son. I'm sure he wouldn't care how old she looked if she were still alive.

H_Lo 09-18-19 08:11 AM

I'm sorry if it seems like I hijacked this thread. I was only posting my experience on the flip side. I'm a long time lurker and don't post things too frequently.


Quote:

Originally Posted by Jennifer P. (Post 2838744)
Don't look at your loose skin, just concentrate on how you feel. I bet you feel a lot better now, are healthier, and have more fun, considering you have at least one hobby to look forward to (exercising! :o) Congratulations!

Thanks Jennifer P! I can definitely thank this forum for leading me to The Firm and all the other threads that led me to buy Leslie, Slim in 6, KCM, etc. LOL!


Quote:

Originally Posted by leigh1673 (Post 2838747)
Please do not let anybody get you down! You have done an AMAZING job losing weight and I'm sure you are MUCH vibrant and healthier now. Trust and believe that most people are only seeing the fruits of your accomplishments, and not the excess skin (I know we are our own worst critics; it's hard to quiet those negative thoughts sometimes).

Thank you leigh1673! You are definitely right in saying that we are our own worst critics! Couldn't have said it any better myself!!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lannette (Post 2838749)
Congratulations on your weight loss! So few are able to achieve what you have achieved! Iím sorry that this thread made you feel depressed.

Thanks Lannette! I try to change my thoughts when the negative voices in my head start to creep in. I couldn't resist the urge to click on this thread when I saw the title even though I knew it was probably going to start those intrusive thoughts in my head again. I just keep trying every day to get better at that. I don't always succeed though.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taiga (Post 2838786)
You have a son :love::love: You accomplished so much and you improved your chances of being there for him---both in quality and quantity of life. You can go places and do things that were out of reach until you persevered. Celebrate the strength in your muscles & lungs and ignore the negative stuff. The modern world and its social media can be full of CR*P. It will tell you that you're too fat, too skinny, too smooth, too wrinkly, too bulky etc whatever. There will always be some complaint or criticism out there. So don't take advice from that crowd! Decide what thoughts make you HAPPY and don't give up one golden moment of your life to shallow observers. You have plenty of power and it all starts with keeping them out of your head and helpless :sun:

Big congratulations to you :music::music::music:

Thank you so much for your positivity Taiga!!! I think I will read your post to help with the negative thoughts when I start feeling down on myself. You are so right about the modern world and social media! I'm not even on Facebook for that reason and yet it's so hard to avoid anything appearance related. Thanks again for your kind words!!!

yogapam 09-18-19 08:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sherry7899 (Post 2838874)
I hate how there is such an emphasis on looks in our society, especially for aging women. How about being grateful just to be alive-what does it matter if our face looks older? My husband had a friend who's wife passed at aged 31 from ovarian cancer, leaving behind their eight month old son. I'm sure he wouldn't care how old she looked if she were still alive.

So sad about your DHís friend! :( Yes I agree Sherry, so much emphasis on appearance more than health, especially for women. Aging is a privilege and we should celebrate it.


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