08-06-20, 11:02 AM | |
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: S. Illinois
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Any opinions on what to do regarding a friend of mine who needs me to help her out?
First--I do not go anywhere indoors except occasional grocery runs or to my mom's house. I take the risk of catching COVID-19 very seriously because my mom is immunocompromised and so is one of my sisters and my niece. Sometimes they are at my mom's house while I am there. My friend had double-knee replacement 7/15 and I've been driving her to p.t. two times a week (Monday/Friday) since 7/21. It was okay at first because she tested negative before her surgery and then quarantined until the surgery. After that, she really could not go anywhere except p.t.--until last Sunday, that is. She went out to eat with her sister and two of her sister's friends--to a buffet, no less. Plus, I know she has friends who stop by to visit and a boyfriend (who is more like a friend at this point--but I think they still eat dinner together sometimes). So--what do I do? I promised I would take her to physical therapy on Mondays and Fridays and then she repays me by buying lunch, which we take back to her house to eat together. Was wondering--should I tell her to find another way to get to therapy because of me needing to be so careful? Or should I ask that she and I both wear masks in the car and that we just skip lunch together? I'm afraid she will be offended--because she gets that way a lot! On the other hand, I really am trying hard to avoid getting sick and possibly passing it on to vulnerable family members. Thanks in advance for any feedback, Donna
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Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world. *unknown* |
08-06-20, 11:10 AM | |
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: West of Chicago in the Illinois Corn Belt
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Hello,
I have been journaling but mostly it's writing down a sentence or two. I try not to get into long pages or paragraphs etc. Just a thought or two to help me in my moment. I have been doing more Yin yoga and/or and evening before bed stretch. I continue to avoid TV M-Friday and only watch on the weekends unless the Cubs are playing and I will watch them. Sollamyn, I am not sure what to suggest about driving your friend to PT. I had one knee replacement and heard a double is brutal so kudos to her for doing that. I didn't have anyone close by to drive me so I used the Trans Vac service in my area. I suspect, that she is feeling isolated and alone with her recovery from her surgery. I know I was feeling very isolated and alone. That maybe why she is reaching out to others for company. But I can understand your concerns as well. Maybe suggest some of her other friends share some of the driving? Everyone stay well.
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Mary |
08-06-20, 11:42 AM | |
VF Supporter
Join Date: Nov 2001
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Donna, that's a tough situation!
I can see you feel uncomfortable about continuing to drive her around with her socializing so much and I understand 110%. Your number one priority now has to be the health and safety of you and your loved ones. It's about time these other friends and the "boyfriend " pick up the driving slack if she is not going to try to protect herself and you. You've been a good friend. Explain about your family with immune issues. If she is a good friend she will understand. If she gets in a snit, that's too bad. To repeat: Your main job in 2020 is to protect yourself and your loved ones.
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Goal:250 / Done:67 POSTURE CHECK! |
08-06-20, 12:22 PM | |
VF Supporter
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: central New York
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Donna,
I don't know what the infection situation is where you are, but our area has been doing really well lately. And now 20K university students are returning and our neighborhood is on guard. But that's another story... I would probably suspend your chauffeuring favors right now because she seems to be in casual contact with too many people. In any case, you should definitely be wearing masks in the car.
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Louise |
08-06-20, 01:55 PM | |
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: S. Illinois
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This particular friend has been one of my best friends since we were Freshmen (freshmans? ) in high school, so it's difficult for me to just write her off. We have a long shared history of friendship, and I don't want to hurt her feelings. Lately, I've been feeling like we don't have that much in common anymore, though. However, I have very few friends who live anywhere near me now, so...I'd hate to lose her, too. My approach to this situation must be handled delicately. I may not be giving her enough credit, though. I will hope for the best and that it all goes smoothly when I make my case: Either no more rides (after tomorrow when I see her again) or we wear masks and don't go to lunch. I don't expect her to change her lifestyle and I can't reasonably be expected by her to change my current preferences (social distancing/masking).
Thanks for all of your support, fellow VFers! Donna
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Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world. *unknown* |
08-06-20, 02:12 PM | |
VF Supporter
Join Date: Nov 2001
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Donna, that sounds like a good plan. State your boundaries in a respectful manner.
Yesterday, I decided I was sick of all my favorite instructors and did a Virtual Active Hike. It was through beautiful New Zealand. I just walked and did low impact moves whilst watching the scenery. I haven't done any Virtual Actives in probably a year. It was fun!
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Goal:250 / Done:67 POSTURE CHECK! |
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meditation, self-care |
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