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Old 04-26-16, 12:50 PM  
Dabbadooey
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: SC
A bully in my barre3 class?......

So I've been taking classes at barre3 since early February. I've enjoyed it even though there are only a handful of people my age there. Last Friday I am waiting at the barre for class to begin, and this woman in front of me tells me that I am in her spot, and I need to move. I was taken aback and just looked at her. She then picked up my weights and moved them. She showed me what a space is on the barre. I was not told that by the instructor in my first or subsequent classes. So today she walks in and again I am waiting at the barre. She asks me where I am going to be. I politely said I guess right here sounding very apologetic. She then showed me the space on the barre for each person. It was different from what she showed me previously. I picked up my stuff and moved even though the barre was not nearly full. I have been upset about this, and I am considering going at another time to avoid her, even though I prefer the teacher of this class. Am I making too much of this?
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Old 04-26-16, 12:53 PM  
cherimac
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Georgia
Talk to the owner or person working there. Seriously, I wouldn't let that happen without bringing it to someone's attention. They can lose clients over rudeness like that.
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Old 04-26-16, 12:56 PM  
Sissy B
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
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Talk to the owner or person working there. Seriously, I wouldn't let that happen without bringing it to someone's attention. They can lose clients over rudeness like that.
I agree.
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Old 04-26-16, 12:57 PM  
yogapam
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I agree, that's crazy! Is the instructor there when she does this? And does she do it to any of the other students? I think the instructor needs to step in and I would talk to her about it before or after class. And I would stand your ground the next time she tries to boss you around!
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Old 04-26-16, 01:01 PM  
dela
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Don't let her bully you, I have had this happen sort of twice to me, but they picked the wrong person. My response both times was swift and obviously annoyed, and funny enough, they both backed off and fast, bullies don't know what to do when you push back most of the time. I did mend one of those "relationships" on my terms, because it will make the class a better experience for me.

I agree though, if you are not comfortable telling her you will stand and do what you want in a class that is just as much yours as hers, then it's OK to mention to the owner as well, the owner of course doesn't want to lose clients over someone like her, and will probably just address the class overall about the class etiquette.
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Old 04-26-16, 01:07 PM  
toomuchjoy
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: CT
I'm sorry this is happening to you. I agree with the others, I would speak with someone.

This happened to me years ago at a step class when someone came and encroached on my space (no problem) and then said to me I hope you can keep up and not get in my way. Yeah, guess who was lost in that class....karma baby.
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Old 04-26-16, 01:22 PM  
Nuggie's Auntie
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: I love that dirty water...
Wow, that's ridiculous. Please do not allow yourself to be intimidated by her! It sounds like you've been a little too accommodating. Before talking to the owner, I would just address it head-on with this person. If she does this again, say politely but firmly, 'you know, I don't believe we can save spots at the barre! This is the space I've chosen and I will stay here today. There are plenty of spaces for others.' I think by being so willing to move before, you might seem an easy target. Please don't hear this as 'blaming' you, she is totally in the wrong here! But I think she needs to realize she can't just push you around--or anyone else!

I understand if you don't feel able to 'confront' her directly, I just like to go first to the individual, then if I don't get the needed result, I'd go to the owner. Either way, though, it's good for the owner to know this kind of thing is going on. They want the class to be a positive experience for everyone.
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Old 04-26-16, 01:35 PM  
jenn38
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: accord ny
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Originally Posted by cherimac View Post
Talk to the owner or person working there. Seriously, I wouldn't let that happen without bringing it to someone's attention. They can lose clients over rudeness like that.
This and stand your ground. I work with a bully actually 2 of them. Just prepare yourself for a confrontation. Bullies love to get a reaction and live for controlling others. How do the others in your class react to her? Do they notice her bad behavior?

Try not let her intimidate you or let her dictate where you will stand or what class you will go to. I understand it's easier said they done. She may become defensive and start a confrontation if you stick up for yourself. Just be prepared.

Mean people suck.
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Old 04-26-16, 01:35 PM  
Helen S
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Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Utah
I've never been in a barre class. However, I do know that in the gym, I purposely go to class early so I have the spot that I want. If that lady wants a certain spot, then she needs to come earlier. And I really hate when somebody comes in late and tries to squeeze in the front row between me and the person next to me. If I come in late, I go to the back of the class.

The reason why I said that I've never been to a barre class is that there are different rules if you're in a ballet company. In that case, they do have certain spots in the barre and soloists will have the best spots. However, these are people that have been in the company for a long time so everyone knows their spot. If you're an apprentice, it's best to first see where everybody goes. Since you're in a public barre class, I doubt this is the case. Maybe, this lady used to be a ballerina and got used to having her way.
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Old 04-26-16, 01:39 PM  
Nuggie's Auntie
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: I love that dirty water...
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Just prepare yourself for a confrontation because there may be one.
Or maybe not--my experience with people like this is once someone stands up to them, they back off. I find bullies usually pick on people who seem willing to take it. Once they get push-back, it changes the game.

I had a bully for a boss. Oh my, she was terrible. I was raised to respect people in authority over me, plus she was older than I, so I really hesitated to speak up. Finally, I had enough and stuck up for myself. Things got better after that. Not a lot better, but a little!
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