Co-Worker Annoyance - thanks for listening!!

[Leela]

Her attitude makes me think that she is super-defensive. Her statement about narcissitic behavior is intended to offset her own inability to make this a priority.

Likely she is also laboring under the very sad misconception that women shouldn't lift weights.

I'm a full-time software engineer at a dot-com, the mother to two young girls, and I co-sleep, which means, I can't workout at night.

Fitness is *still* a high priority item with me. I workout in front of my kids when I can. I workout at teh gym when I can. I workout on the weekends when I can.

True, I may not always get in 3 hrs a week due to not being able to fit it in, but I feel good when I try.

I wish instead, she had said "I can't do this with my current schedule. Do you have any other thoughts?

(Joyce Vedral works great for this type of schedule. 30 minutes a day, 6x a week - not impossible to get in - even with a toddler who wants to nurse whenever mom lies down on the ground to do any working out).

Her later comments about working out alone where snide and spiteful.

I applaud your decisions to not lunch with her again.!

As far as personal experience... actually, I am generally pretty lucky in that all of my coworkers exercise regularly. But I don't tell them about my extensive collection. These are younger people who are very fit, and who don't yet have kids. Some of them still live near the city (Boston) and are very socially active still. So filling their heads with the image of mom-leela at home doing what they see on infomercials...

One of my coworkers does have firm tapes, and so she sort of gets it.

Leela

[Leela]

{{{hugs}}} to you for your posts here.

Leela

[redbird]

My first thought was that your coworker tried to do the tapes and couldn't! And she was humiliated and then had to humiliate you back to feel better about herself. Forget about her! Just laugh! Don't take it personally, her comments say more about her than you.

I agree - you don't look 75, Barb!

redbird

[Leela]

I honestly am one of those people. If it weren't for the fact that we are super-flexible about work hours (and I'm the boss here), I could not get in my 30 minutes a day.

I can't leave my 18 month old alone in the bed, so from 7:30-7 am, I am in bed with her.. yes, I could have taught her to sleep in a crib, but I strongly believe in cosleeping with a nursing child (for me. Others do what works for them).

I work full time. This brings in half our income, and enables us to provide a lush college fund for our children's use. It also has kept me current in my career.

It's IMPOSSIBLE for me to get in an uninterrupted workout with "She who must nurse every 10 minutes for 30 seconds at a pop.".

I get up, get the kids ready for daycare, me ready for work. Rich puts in his 100% as well. We usually take turns iwth pickup and dropoff. We rush out the door, one of us gets the kids dropped off. If it was me, I might not get to work by 9:30, if I skip my workout. Usually 10, if I don't skip the workout.

I leave here at 5, to get the kids. If I'm not getting the kids, 5:30. If I didn't workout, I leave at 4:30.

So - my day is not really 8 hrs of work. I make up for it by working some on the weekends.

On the weekends, I can easily get in 2 workouts, but during the week, it's a huge struggle.

In short, I am too busy for most things. And where could I make the adjustments here? I sacrifice my work day, but sometimes, when things are super busy, I can't even do that. Heck, this posting here is already taking up too much of my time. I'm not judging others when I say this, but at this point in my life, I'm busier than I ever have been.

My husband gets the same amount of free time that I get, which is pretty much zilch.

Do you have children, because if you don't - you really can't know what it's like to be in this particular situation. I"ve been a full time student. Part time student, full time engineer, and now this... and this is far more challenging in terms of... time, energy, everything, than anything else has ever been. It's also far more enjoyable.

I do agree that we need to model fitness for our kids sakes, but it's easier said than done.

Leela

[suebella]

Thank you for all your posts. Some of them were so touching – I really appreciate it.

Today is a new day and I am feeling much better and much less aggrieved about the whole thing.

We know that the fitness journey is rewarding, but it can be hard too. I forget how daunting some of these tapes can be for newcomer. Also, I think my coworker is too sold on the sound bites – the “get fit in ten minutes a day” type of thing that you see in magazines. But my feelings on fitness magazines could start another rant. So I think I’ll save that for a new thread down the line!

Thanks again everyone!

[deanne]

that being a good mother is being tied to whether or not one works out! I get SO TIRED of the women against women (esp. mothers) debates.

None of it is easy! Not exercising regularly, not taking care of a child/children, not working full time, not paying the bills, not food shopping, not cleaning the house, not being a wife, not being a student...good grief! It really doesn't help anyone to put down how or what choices other women make.

I think the lady at the office is in fact trying to rationalize her choices. I feel that is terrible the way she is doing it, too. What nerve! I think I would ask her each day how the walking is going!

Deanne

[Fitnik]

I now don't bother telling people I work out full stop, especially if they also work out but in the gym instead of at home. It seems to bring out a really nasty side to a lot of people. Many do not take exercise videos seriously and because I'm UK based where there are no advanced domestic videos, they assume I am lying when I say I order advanced tapes from the States!

Everyone wants the easy pill when to keep in shape you need to eat clean and exercise consistently. I do believe in walking as cardio but certainly not walking and talking - that's nowhere near intense enough!

I really understand your frustration! Hang in there!

[lovemykid]

Enjoyed your posts Leela!

My son is 6 years old and just recently quit needing us to lay down with him. I actually miss it very much. Now I have from 8:00 p.m. when he goes to bed till my husband gets home at 9:00 p.m. to do whatever I want! I should be cleaning house but I'm usually on the stairmaster or working a body part with Cathe. My house is last priority and well. . . . it looks like it's last priority!

Would love to hear from anyone else who also let's their housework slide in order to fit in exercise. I'd love to know that I'm not the only sloppy housekeeper out there. Don't get me wrong, I do the necessities but that's about it!

[Lenore Levine]

Originally posted by FlowerChild
It really irritates me when people tell me that they don't have enough time to workout. I feel like it's a slap in the face. Like my life can't be as important as their life or I don't have the right priorities.

I don't think people necessarily mean it like that. They may just mean that for them personally, they don't have enough time to work out.

Different people have different emotions and different energy levels. So just because one person can find the time to do something doesn't mean that another person with the same schedule can find the time to do it. Some people have to spend some time alone, doing nothing, just thinking. Some don't. It's not fair to assume everyone's alike in that way.

However, the remarks made to the original poster were just plain catty and cruel. But the co-worker's cattiness and cruelty may not have much to do with exercise habits or fitness levels. Women of all sizes and lifestyles can be catty.
Some women just like to bully other women. They pick on other women not because there's a good reason, but because they think they can get away with it.

[Lynne11]

After the nasty comment asking "how can you stand to work out in that sweaty basement?" I would be tempted to respond "Oh those tapes I loaned you are so easy I can't even work up a sweat." heh. Your dignified silence was probably better, tho.