So is this what being in your 60's is like?

[sugar rose]

Originally Posted by hch

In fact, you readers are already Real...

"That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept."


Well, I must not be Real, because I'm all three of those things.

[sherry7899]

Never mind.

[hch]

Originally Posted by hch

In fact, you readers are already Real

Originally Posted by sugar rose

"That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept."


Well, I must not be Real, because I'm all three of those things.

Actual people differ from toy characters in a story: the people don't need "nursery magic" to be Real.

[sugar rose]

Originally Posted by hch

Actual people differ from toy characters in a story: the people don't need "nursery magic" to be Real.

Well, what do they need, then? And what does "Real" mean for actual people?

[sugar rose]

To get back to the subject of aging:

I am reading Anne Tyler's A Patchwork Planet. The protagonist/narrator works for a company that helps the elderly with household tasks. I was struck by this passage toward the end of the book, which reads in part:

"I'm telling you: don't ever get old! Before I started at Rent-a-Back, I thought a guy could just make up his mind to have a decent old age. Now I know that there's no such thing - or if once in a blue moon there is, it's a matter of pure blind luck...

"The sudden downward plunges they make: snappy speech one day and faltering for words not two weeks later; handsome, dignified faces all at once in particles, uneven, collapsing, dissolving.

"The jar lids they can't unscrew, the needles they can't thread, the large print that's not quite large enough, even with a magnifying glass. The specter of the nursing home lurking constantly in the background...

"They walk down the street, and everyone looks away from them. People hate to see what the human body comes to - the sags and droops, splotches, humps, bulging stomachs, knobby fingers, thinning hair, freckled scalps. You're supposed to say old age is beautiful; that's one of those lines intended to shame whoever disagrees. But every one of my clients disagrees, I'm sure of it."

[hch]

Originally Posted by sugar rose

Well, what do they need, then? And what does "Real" mean for actual people?

I'll maintain that actual people are already "Real," in very important ways, because they exist and have lived actual lives, and I'll add that along with this existence come things like dignity and respect.

In other words, the distinction that comes into my mind is not "outside" us, as if we should sort between actual people whom we'll call "Real" and actual people who supposedly aren't Real.

The distinction is actually "inside" us. Let's notice the difference between two basic ways of treating people. We may treat people as Real, or we may treat some people as "not Real" because they aren't what we may consider "good enough." For example, we may consider some people ugly and outdated, and we may consider ourselves outdated and start using more self-directed "old talk" (which will spread to other people).

Although I won't maintain (yet) that these ideas were entirely the author's intent, I notice this part:

He was naturally shy, and being only made of velveteen, some of the more expensive toys quite snubbed him. The mechanical toys were very superior, and looked down upon every one else; they were full of modern ideas, and pretended they were real. The model boat, who had lived through two seasons and lost most of his paint, caught the tone from them and never missed an opportunity of referring to his rigging in technical terms. The Rabbit could not claim to be a model of anything, for he didn't know that real rabbits existed; he thought they were all stuffed with sawdust like himself, and he understood that sawdust was quite out-of-date and should never be mentioned in modern circles. Even Timothy, the jointed wooden lion, who was made by the disabled soldiers, and should have had broader views, put on airs and pretended he was connected with Government. Between them all the poor little Rabbit was made to feel himself very insignificant and commonplace, and the only person who was kind to him at all was the Skin Horse.

[hch]

Originally Posted by sugar rose

I am reading Anne Tyler's A Patchwork Planet. The protagonist/narrator works for a company that helps the elderly with household tasks. I was struck by this passage toward the end of the book, which reads in part:

What do you find striking about it? I can imagine a variety of possibilities.

[desderata]

My parents are old - 88 and 93. They are both legally blind, very hard of hearing, and they shuffle along. My dad has had a major stroke and has very bad aphasia - he just can't find the words he wants and gets very frustrated. It's hard to see them get so debilitated and it's frightening to realize that if I live that long, I, too, will be old, debilitated, and living in a broken down body that is just a shadow of what it once was. That is life.

Here's the thing - my dad's kinda cute, and my mom's not. At all. The difference is their attitude. My dad does as much as he can. He looks for opportunities to do any little thing for someone and does it. Despite his legal blindness, weakness and the terrible aftermath of his stroke, he's pretty cheerful. When I visit, he wants to hear all about my husband and my kids.

My mom is negative, self focused, and self pitying. Not surprisingly, she's miserable. It's a lot harder to visit with her. She's been that kind of personality as long as I've known her. She's as miserable as she wants to be.

As they say, we can't always control what happens to us, but we can always control how we react to life. We choose our attitudes. We decide if we are going to be someone people look forward to visiting, or someone people visit out of duty.

[Scorpio6]

FYI: I have sent you a private message

[sugar rose]

Originally Posted by hch

What do you find striking about it? I can imagine a variety of possibilities.

For one thing, it's an unpopular viewpoint.