Debbie Siebers, her blog

[Nuggie's Auntie]

Originally Posted by ddj

Why. Do rude people need to be protected?

I think not publicly calling out any client is professional behavior, whether that client is famous or not. I would expect that something I told my hair stylist, for example, wouldn't be repeated to a friend of mine whose hair she also cuts. And esp. mentioning Spielberg... it's just very name-dropping, too.

As some said, we don't really know the context of those comments... but it's hard to imagine a comment like that being anything but

[ddj]

Originally Posted by Lucky Star

Not confusing to me. She hated feeling inadequate and in hindsight I'm sure she wishes she could relive those (somewhat wasted) years with more peace and self-acceptance.

But did you get the feeling she has that self acceptance now?

[hch]

Originally Posted by Stephanie_B

I agree with Maryan.

Maybe Steven was acting as a director, but still he was her husband and IMO Amy probably knew what casting was looking for...I still take away he wanted a specifically sized wife.

So do I, if the reporting of his words is accurate (I have no special reason to doubt or question Debbie Siebers, but neither do I believe something simply because it's online ).

Any acting-specific context is unclear at most, and if anything, the wording is gratuitously "rude and jerky" if he were simply talking about acting. Now, even if he was quoted correctly as far as he's quoted, maybe we're missing some context, some people do use unfortunate wordings, and some people are gratuitously rude and jerky anyway , but I can see why more people who've posted here interpret those words as you do.

[Tanja]

Originally Posted by ddj

But did you get the feeling she has that self acceptance now?

No, all the plastic surgery she seems to be getting points to a woman with low self-esteem and self-acceptance. Honestly, not a fitness role model I want to aspire to.

[Lucky Star]

Originally Posted by ddj

But did you get the feeling she has that self acceptance now?

Not completely, and I think she feels sad about it and has regrets. But that's my opinion. I still feel she was being very open and honest about herself, faults and all, and I respect that.

[Lucky Star]

Originally Posted by Tanja

No, all the plastic surgery she seems to be getting points to a woman with low self-esteem and self-acceptance. Honestly, not a fitness role model I want to aspire to.

Maybe not, but she's human and has her vulnerabilities. And honestly, there's no role model, fitness or otherwise, that I aspire to be. Except the best version of myself.

[violingal3]

Originally Posted by Lucky Star

Maybe not, but she's human and has her vulnerabilities. And honestly, there's no role model, fitness or otherwise, that I aspire to be. Except the best version of myself.

Amen!

[kittybug]

Originally Posted by violingal3

Amen!

LOL...was about to post the same thing. A-freaking-men, Lucky, thank you!!

[hch]

Originally Posted by Susan

And as far as the Spielberg thing goes, I'm sure she did respond politely and professionally and not let him see any kind of personal reaction, but let's face it, comments like that are hurtful. He was basically telling her that she had big, ugly thighs and he wouldn't want his wife to look like that. Who wants to hear something like that from anyone?

Indeed. This sort of thing is why I cringe when I read similar derogatory physique-related comments, even though most of what I encounter is not intentionally targeted at another person (such as "I don't want bulky thighs like yours").

Yes, quite a bit of what I see is self-directed (such as "how do I get rid of bulky thighs like mine"), but self-loathing is not much better, and these comments are never directed only at oneself anyway because lots of people in the world look vaguely alike. If I lament my thick and stocky thighs, I'm not at all complimenting anyone else who has anything like them.

In this thread and in at least one other thread about at least one different instructor (I can't clearly remember) who used to have Unaccepted Bodies, made themselves Slim, and now make money promising to make others Slim as well, I've read comments about admiring these instructors because they've overcome their problems.

While quoting Debbie Siebers there and taking another look at how she quotes Spielberg, I noticed a dissonance that unsettled me.

I thought he was going to tell me what a great job I was doing, so I was doubly shocked when he blankly said, “I don’t want her to end up having thighs like you”. OMG…What?! My heart hit rock bottom.

Yes I was fit and healthy, but no woman wanted to have such thick and stocky thighs!

a successful program that could truly help people shrink and get beautiful long lean muscles!

I find it odd that Spielberg's alleged comment was so dismaying, but she continues in its spirit. Even if their expressions are different--maybe she would disavow a more direct and disturbing ironic echo, such as "I don't want you to end up having thighs like mine at the time"--the basic direction is the same.

Thus I respectfully disagree with the idea that these instructors have truly overcome their problems. Instead, they're actually propagating the messages that hurt them (even if they intend to be helping others), and they haven't left the problem behind. The only "problem behind" there is a thick, stocky Spongebob Butt that no woman wants. But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. She had won the victory over herself. She loved Big Brother.

Well, I wouldn't like to end the post on that note, and I don't have to.

I've recently read a post elsewhere, with supportive replies, by a woman who could clearly overhear other women talking about her physique in terms of something like "not wanting to have her muscles." She was clearly not upset with herself and really more annoyed with society (and those women ), and I'm also happy to report that these comments didn't make her change her workouts or hate her figure.

Although other people clearly have problems with accepting physiques which they don't like, she has a choice and doesn't have to make their problem her problem. Then she'd have one more critic, and our world has enough critics to fill a casting call of millions. Instead, I admire people who make their life decisions as if insults weren't true.

[topfitmama]

Originally Posted by Lucky Star

Not completely, and I think she feels sad about it and has regrets. But that's my opinion. I still feel she was being very open and honest about herself, faults and all, and I respect that.

I could feel more for her if it didn't read like she's trying to sell me her system.

Originally Posted by Lucky Star

Maybe not, but she's human and has her vulnerabilities. And honestly, there's no role model, fitness or otherwise, that I aspire to be. Except the best version of myself.

I agree with that. Nowadays, I find people who have found the way to deal with life's harsh blows or have maintained a positive spirit well into "old age" a lot more inspiring. Ida Keeling, the 99-year-old sprinter who turned to running after two of her sons were murdered, is a huge example to me of someone who uses exercise for something that has a lot longer-lasting effects than thinning her thighs (that she still won't show because they're cursed with cellulite).

Debbie Siebers's blog posts on her thick thighs and cellulite remind me very much of Ellen Barrett's skinny talk a year or so ago. The message seems to be: accept your body once you've made it look as close to perfect as you can. (And Debbie's addition, cover up the cellulite!)