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Old 08-29-19, 09:58 AM  
Vintage VFer
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Exclamation Gadget flashback: The Relax-a-cizor

"The Fitness Wearable So Dangerous It Was Supposed to Be Destroyed"

https://gizmodo.com/the-fitness-wear...-be-1716877387

My mom had one of these. I had no idea it was dangerous!
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Old 08-29-19, 12:25 PM  
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That device sounds absolutely horrifying! Thankfully the science of exercise has come a long way since then. Yeah, there are still gimmicky gadgets, but hopefully not as dangerous as the relax-a-cizer!
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Old 08-29-19, 12:39 PM  
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Um, the dude with the radio looks pretty relaxed. Where is he wearing his Relax-A-Cizor?
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Old 08-29-19, 01:18 PM  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pat58 View Post
Um, the dude with the radio looks pretty relaxed. Where is he wearing his Relax-A-Cizor?
HAHAHAHA! He sure is smiling!

I always liked that treadmill thing that had a "conveyor belt" around your waist and would jiggle you like crazy. Cracked me up!
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Old 08-29-19, 01:19 PM  
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How unfair that only the man gets "sexy exercise"!
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Old 08-29-19, 01:56 PM  
wendug
 
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Originally Posted by red1013 View Post
How unfair that only the man gets "sexy exercise"!
I think women would benefit more from this device for "sexy" exercise. Men might be a bit apprehensive with electrical devices near their manhood. That's why therapeutic "massagers" are geared toward women not men.
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Old 08-30-19, 03:49 AM  
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Originally Posted by Pat58 View Post
Um, the dude with the radio looks pretty relaxed. Where is he wearing his Relax-A-Cizor?
i think the box controls his device. that one looks scary too.
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Old 08-30-19, 08:04 AM  
hch
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Originally Posted by red1013 View Post
How unfair that only the man gets "sexy exercise"!
There's a variation reproduced on Reddit (r/vintageads) with a section beginning Sexy Exercise Is For Her, Too! It mentions buying two smaller units or a larger unit that two people can use together. "Relax-A-cizor is famous for reducing the size of distaff hips, waistlines, tummies and thighs in a delightfully effortless way!" Why should ineffective devices, body shame, paralysis, and miscarriage be restricted to men alone when selling to women as well can bring in more money?

(The chart at the top of the original article has an "IMPORTANT NOTE" in red, which I read more closely because I suspected it to be a contextually ironic safety warning. Instead, it says, "Concentrate treatments in areas that are most out of proportion. You may select ANY combination of placements to suit your particular figure problem." All types of people can have flawed physiques that fitness-ish products can remedy--how egalitarian! )
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Old 08-30-19, 10:58 AM  
Vintage VFer
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pat58 View Post
Um, the dude with the radio looks pretty relaxed. Where is he wearing his Relax-A-Cizor?
Bad girl!


Quote:
Originally Posted by hch View Post
There's a variation reproduced on Reddit (r/vintageads) with a section beginning Sexy Exercise Is For Her, Too! It mentions buying two smaller units or a larger unit that two people can use together. "Relax-A-cizor is famous for reducing the size of distaff hips, waistlines, tummies and thighs in a delightfully effortless way!" Why should ineffective devices, body shame, paralysis, and miscarriage be restricted to men alone when selling to women as well can bring in more money?

(The chart at the top of the original article has an "IMPORTANT NOTE" in red, which I read more closely because I suspected it to be a contextually ironic safety warning. Instead, it says, "Concentrate treatments in areas that are most out of proportion. You may select ANY combination of placements to suit your particular figure problem." All types of people can have flawed physiques that fitness-ish products can remedy--how egalitarian! )
No body is perfect!
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