Article Link Here's what Thigh Gaps Looked Like in 1945

[Sarah-lara]

Originally Posted by EnglishIvy

Just to clarify, the BS that I'm talking about is the thigh gap, foot binding etc and not women with different point of views. Is there anybody here who is actually supporting/defending those trends? I thought the issue was how we perceived the problem, solutions and such. If there are people arguing for the actual thigh gap, then we live in different universes and should just happily stay there. And the feminism argument doesn't really apply because I feel the same way for all humans. I don't see men as the perpetrators of all this. Women can be very cruel to each other in their competition to be the most adored. Turning this into a feminist argument seems kind of tired and old any way. You have an opinion and feel okay expressing it strongly. Why feel resentful that others do the same? Clearly there are strong feelings on these topics, but yes it is possible to disagree and still discuss it. For me, it's not a cover at all.

There are too many double standards in the world of beauty and it's maddening. If this discussion was about race, people would be tripping over themselves to express empowerment and it wouldn't be viewed a "feminist issue". Who would go into a party and laugh at racist jokes ? Who would even support that with their silence? Beauty issues are just as skin deep. But body digs are tolerated and encouraged even here. Don't dare make any one responsible or challenge people to fight back. To each his own.

ETA: I'm going to check out of this thread because I think it will take more time and energy than I can afford at the moment. Sadly, I spent a good deal of my allotted net time on the Sharknado thread Ironically, I had a greater chance of being eaten alive in this thread lol. I can honestly say that I hope everyone here, in their own way, lands in a good place on these issues. If we step back far enough, there is probably at least one common thread of agreement in that.

This is not at all what your earlier post said. It was lobbed squarely at anybody with body hangups (which by the way, affect both men and women. Hardly a feminist issue). Unfortunately you don't have to believe in any form of mental illness for it to exist, though I guess it does help to deny one if you want to make yourself sound better by putting those people down with a nasty barrage of insults (yes, clearly you were right when you said women could be cruel to each other in their competition to be adored.)

What I read from your earlier post was akin to something like "those dumb depressed people should just lighten up already because this it's all their fault they're failing at life." The only difference was you used more insults. No, I can't agree to disagree about that, even if you find me resentful, tiresome and/or old-thinking. (Yet more insults, really? Serious question: Are you trolling us?)

[Sue B]

You either have a thigh gap or you don't, depending on your anatomy and how you pose. I can get a thigh gap just by sticking out my butt. That's the secret of those before and after pics for body wraps.

Would anyone think it was cute or funny if someone said big noses are for elephants? Then why put people down for anything else they were born with? I miss the days when we weren't allowed to criticize other people's bodies on VF.

[sophiesmom]

Originally Posted by Sarah-lara

This is not at all what your earlier post said. It was lobbed squarely at anybody with body hangups (which by the way, affect both men and women. Hardly a feminist issue). Unfortunately you don't have to believe in any form of mental illness for it to exist, though I guess it does help to deny one if you want to make yourself sound better by putting those people down with a nasty barrage of insults (yes, clearly you were right when you said women could be cruel to each other in their competition to be adored.)

What I read from your earlier post was akin to something like "those dumb depressed people should just lighten up already because this it's all their fault they're failing at life." The only difference was you used more insults. No, I can't agree to disagree about that, even if you find me resentful, tiresome and/or old-thinking. (Yet more insults, really? Serious question: Are you trolling us?)

Agreed.

She must have a thigh gap from all the back pedaling.

[Joni O]

Here's a secret: if you have a thigh gap, it means you've had sex. Well, that was the word when I in high school anyway.

[macska]

Originally Posted by EnglishIvy

As much as I abhor all the baggage on body issues that society heaps on women, there's a part of me that refuses to see these women as victims. For goodness sake, grow a backbone and start caring about your contribution to the world and this loses all power over you. People who have such an obsession with being adored that they'll do any stupid thing to get it have as much responsibility in their misery as the perpetrators. Seriously, there's an element of self-absorption and shallowness that allows this junk to stick. I wouldn't walk a block to seek the approval of any creature that felt like thigh gap changed my worth in any way. As a matter of fact, I would marvel at their low brain function and invite them to leave my life immediately. There will be cries of "low self-esteem makes them do it". IMHO, esteeming yourself has been highly over-rated in this generation. It's been twisted to include too much self-catering. Look outside yourself and care about something that really matters and this looks SO ridiculous. We have a responsibility to be strong women and put this crap down. If you can't get past the "who thinks I'm pretty" level of maturity, then you fail the humanity test and that's on you.

Amen to that, sister.

[macska]

Originally Posted by Joni O

Here's a secret: if you have a thigh gap, it means you've had sex. Well, that was the word when I in high school anyway.

Hehehehehe! Yes, that 's what I was told too!!

[Gams]

Joni O,

If I don't have a thigh gap, does that make me a born again virgin?

[Chomper]

I am not quite sure why I am responding to you, EnglishIvy, since you've announced you're bowing out of this discussion (after tossing some grenades in), but maybe because I really want to respond to some of your ideas.

[QUOTE=EnglishIvy;2431444]I knew there would be polar views on this topic, and I'm happy to agree to disagree. IMHO, personal responsibility is a lost art. As mothers and sisters and wives, we have a powerful influence over our daughters and the up and coming generation. Every time you declare yourself less valuable because of your thighs or breast size, you make that judgement against all women. The chain gets a link longer on your dime.>>

I can agree with this. Women do perpetuate this problem.

<<I have coached young (female) athletes and can tell you that challenging them to something outside themselves does far more for them than "sensitivity" /focusing on their perceived flaws. They want to feel empowered and they want to feel like they are on a team for the greater good. You can tell them that it doesn't really matter what they look like and it will go right past them. Tell them that their team mate or little sister is counting on them to hold the line, and they get a sense of community and protection. >>

Okay, but what you told them in this thread is that they are failures of humanity.


<<So if some people find it politically incorrect to say you have a responsibility to the world around you and for the ideas you perpetuate, I can live with that.>>

I don't think anybody is disagreeing with that idea.

<<I stand by my earlier post and make no apologies for the content. I am sorry if I touched on anyone's painful spots though. >>

Oh, so a non-apology apology.

<<Women can be very cruel to each other in their competition to be the most adored. >>

Again, agreed.

<<But body digs are tolerated and encouraged even here.>>

I would even agree with this, too. And it does bother me.

<< People who have such an obsession with being adored that they'll do any stupid thing to get it have as much responsibility in their misery as the perpetrators. Seriously, there's an element of self-absorption and shallowness that allows this junk to stick.... If you can't get past the "who thinks I'm pretty" level of maturity, then you fail the humanity test and that's on you. >>

Hold on, now. The need to feel attractive and desirable is a basic human drive. It is hard-wired into us and it part of mating and reproduction, it is the thing that keeps our species going. It is a basic human need. And we're talking about mainly young women, trying to find their place in the world, with hormones raging, being bombarded with crazy messages. I accept that there are shallow, vain narcissists in the world, sure. But young girls with body dysmorphia, eating disorders or even just low body-esteem because they're overweight and feel they don't measure up ARE victims. It takes time and a lot of emotional work to free oneself from that stuff.

[fit44]

Originally Posted by gams

joni o,

if i don't have a thigh gap, does that make me a born again virgin?

:d:d:d

[Jane P.]

I work with a lot of young males, and let me tell you, they do hear and read this stuff and judge their potential girlfriends by these standards. Of course it's superficial and immature, but that's the phase of life they're in. I really don't blame the young girls (the victims) for wanting to meet these standards. Many feel they must in order to have a decent social life.