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Old 07-31-14, 09:55 AM  
mspina
 
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Boston, MA
Quote:
Originally Posted by EnglishIvy View Post
As much as I abhor all the baggage on body issues that society heaps on women, there's a part of me that refuses to see these women as victims. For goodness sake, grow a backbone and start caring about your contribution to the world and this loses all power over you. People who have such an obsession with being adored that they'll do any stupid thing to get it have as much responsibility in their misery as the perpetrators. Seriously, there's an element of self-absorption and shallowness that allows this junk to stick. I wouldn't walk a block to seek the approval of any creature that felt like thigh gap changed my worth in any way. As a matter of fact, I would marvel at their low brain function and invite them to leave my life immediately. There will be cries of "low self-esteem makes them do it". IMHO, esteeming yourself has been highly over-rated in this generation. It's been twisted to include too much self-catering. Look outside yourself and care about something that really matters and this looks SO ridiculous. We have a responsibility to be strong women and put this crap down. If you can't get past the "who thinks I'm pretty" level of maturity, then you fail the humanity test and that's on you.
I think I love you.

I am (obviously) with you on this one!!!! I truly am baffled how, even if *somehow* you read/watch tv and see this crap, your reaction isn't to just laugh out loud, then simply move on with your day.
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Old 07-31-14, 10:05 AM  
Stephanie_B
 
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Great post EnglishIvy

I first read about thigh gap here. I don't watch much television talk shows nor celebrity related stuff and haven't bought a fashion type magazine since my teens so I do sort of live in a bubble. But I've got friends into entertainment and others whom want to be famous and I gotta say it seems to really warp their sense of what truly healthy self worth is versus the temporary high from plastic surgery to be molded into what they see as society's norm.
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Old 07-31-14, 10:07 AM  
mle777
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EnglishIvy View Post
If you can't get past the "who thinks I'm pretty" level of maturity, then you fail the humanity test and that's on you.
Your use of the word "pretty" makes me think of a blog post that I fell in love with yesterday

http://momastery.com/blog/2013/12/31/6676/

Quote:
Women who are concerned with being pretty think about what they look like, but women who are concerned with being beautiful think about what they are looking at. They are taking it all in. They are taking in the whole beautiful world and making all that beauty theirs to give away to others.
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Old 07-31-14, 10:08 AM  
Stephanie_B
 
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Michelle I also think it has a lot to do with how you're raised and whom you're around. My culture growing up was around people who did triathlons and where education was valued. What you looked like, especially if you seemed to be way involved in that more than any other thing, made people well laugh. That's not to say everyone in my circle and family had high self worth or never wore makeup and dieted, but on the value scale it wasn't high priority.
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Old 07-31-14, 10:13 AM  
Vee
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Kuala Lumpur
Quote:
Originally Posted by mspina View Post
I think I love you.

I am (obviously) with you on this one!!!! I truly am baffled how, even if *somehow* you read/watch tv and see this crap, your reaction isn't to just laugh out loud, then simply move on with your day.
Me too. I do feel sympathy for people whose self esteem is highly dependent on whether they match up to unrealistic body ideals. These are wise words for them. If you consider poverty, illiteracy, war, disability, human trafficking and illness, and that a majority of the worlds population has to deal with one or more of this, lack of a thigh gap is a blessing if it is the main issue one has.
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Old 07-31-14, 11:53 AM  
Sarah-lara
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Join Date: May 2003
Quote:
Originally Posted by EnglishIvy View Post
As much as I abhor all the baggage on body issues that society heaps on women, there's a part of me that refuses to see these women as victims. For goodness sake, grow a backbone and start caring about your contribution to the world and this loses all power over you. People who have such an obsession with being adored that they'll do any stupid thing to get it have as much responsibility in their misery as the perpetrators. Seriously, there's an element of self-absorption and shallowness that allows this junk to stick. I wouldn't walk a block to seek the approval of any creature that felt like thigh gap changed my worth in any way. As a matter of fact, I would marvel at their low brain function and invite them to leave my life immediately. There will be cries of "low self-esteem makes them do it". IMHO, esteeming yourself has been highly over-rated in this generation. It's been twisted to include too much self-catering. Look outside yourself and care about something that really matters and this looks SO ridiculous. We have a responsibility to be strong women and put this crap down. If you can't get past the "who thinks I'm pretty" level of maturity, then you fail the humanity test and that's on you.
I don't think I agree with this. We all suffer from problems, and low self worth is just one of them many people share. I'm very glad it's not your problem to bear, but I don't think it helps to call someone with it immature, self-absorbed, ridiculous, or, good grief, "failures at humanity."

It seems helpful to say, "this thigh gap test is all just silly," so that the people who were plagued with it can read it (the point of this thread), but entirely another to outright insult the people who were plagued with it.
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Old 07-31-14, 12:20 PM  
topfitmama
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarah-lara View Post
I don't think I agree with this. We all suffer from problems, and low self worth is just one of them many people share. I'm very glad it's not your problem to bear, but I don't think it helps to call someone with it immature, self-absorbed, ridiculous, or, good grief, "failures at humanity."

It seems helpful to say, "this thigh gap test is all just silly," so that the people who were plagued with it can read it (the point of this thread), but entirely another to outright insult the people who were plagued with it.
I agree. Self-worth, self-esteem, self-confidence are all important. Many people struggle finding their worth in themselves for the people they are, regardless of how they look, how much they have achieved, how much they earn or how much they own. I don't think any one struggle is more valid than the others.
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Old 07-31-14, 12:40 PM  
eyefit
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarah-lara View Post
I don't think I agree with this. We all suffer from problems, and low self worth is just one of them many people share. I'm very glad it's not your problem to bear, but I don't think it helps to call someone with it immature, self-absorbed, ridiculous, or, good grief, "failures at humanity."

It seems helpful to say, "this thigh gap test is all just silly," so that the people who were plagued with it can read it (the point of this thread), but entirely another to outright insult the people who were plagued with it.
I agree Sarah. It seems pretty insensitive to many VF'ers who have struggled with body image problems, and I'm sure there are plenty. It doesn't help someone with self esteem struggles to further make them feel worthless for being "shallow". I do agree as women we would be better off if we all could shrug off the shackles of society's misogynistic tendency to place more value on women's looks than anything else. Women who are "deemed pretty" are almost always valued more than women who are not. Whether it's by male attention, social status, or even job opportunities to name a few.

My teenage niece is beautiful and thin and unfortunately a lot of her self esteem and self worth is based on that. She works out like crazy to maintain it and is distressed when anything derails it. I would love it if she had the maturity to "get past" this and hopefully someday that will indeed be the case. As it is, though, she gets so much positive reinforcement for her physical attributes from society...compliments, male attention, etc. that its not hard to understand how she has gotten to this point.

For those that have never heard of "thigh gap" and are unaffected by these things...good for you! That's awesome. However, just because you have never personally heard of it doesn't mean the phenomenon doesn't exist. I heard of "thigh gap" through social media, reddit and just by virtue of having young women like my niece in my life. Heck, do they even make teenage magazines anymore?
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Old 07-31-14, 12:51 PM  
sophiesmom
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Quote:
Originally Posted by EnglishIvy View Post
If you can't get past the "who thinks I'm pretty" level of maturity, then you fail the humanity test and that's on you.
That's the most ridiculous statement I have ever read on here or have heard anywhere else---and I watched Sharknado2

Maybe you need to do some navel-gazing yourself. You sound bitter, which is kind is a shame because you actually have some good points.
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Old 07-31-14, 01:27 PM  
eyefit
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Oh man, this is so timely! I just found this article over at Breaking Muscle. You guys have to check this out :
http://breakingmuscle.com/mind-body/...-is-not-enough
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