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Old 08-10-11, 09:30 AM  
Sue B
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Quote:
Originally Posted by metalbarbie View Post
I would NEVER lend out my fitness DVDs and I learned my lesson after getting burned loaning my favorite books to people. Once I lent one of my favorite books to someone and when I asked for it back she said she lost it...why? Because she lent it to HER friend. My new attitude is, you want to work out with fitness DVDs, bring your workout clothes to my house and we can work out together.
That's a great idea! Tell them "if you want to try P90X, be at my place next Tuesday at 7 AM sharp" and that's when you'll find out how committed they really are.

I also can't stand how some people think they can just lend out your stuff to other people without even asking.
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Old 08-10-11, 09:30 AM  
Lurdes
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I agree this is really tricky territory. I lent a friend my P90X set and she's had it for about a year. I really don't want to ask for it back because I'm not really craving a P90X workout, but occasionally I get the desire to do Legs & Back or Core Synergistics, and I just look through my collection for a good substitute (which of course I can pretty easily find).

Someone already put their finger on the problem: I suspect that people think that when you lend them something, it's because you don't really need it. And if you don't need it, you can probably go without it indefinitely. I'm not saying that's correct - just that I'm guessing that's how people think about the arrangement. Now, when a close friend or family member asks to borrow one of my DVDs, I either give it to them or I buy it for them. I figure it's easier than worrying about when it will be returned.

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Old 08-10-11, 11:12 AM  
Casswoman
 
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Has anyone thought of asking for a deposit when someone asks for something? I think they might be a bit more conscious of how they handle your stuff and about getting it back in a reasonable time if their money was involved. Just a thought
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Old 08-10-11, 12:09 PM  
isebelleg44
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Massachusetts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lurdes View Post
I agree this is really tricky territory. I lent a friend my P90X set and she's had it for about a year. I really don't want to ask for it back because I'm not really craving a P90X workout, but occasionally I get the desire to do Legs & Back or Core Synergistics, and I just look through my collection for a good substitute (which of course I can pretty easily find).

Someone already put their finger on the problem: I suspect that people think that when you lend them something, it's because you don't really need it. And if you don't need it, you can probably go without it indefinitely. I'm not saying that's correct - just that I'm guessing that's how people think about the arrangement. Now, when a close friend or family member asks to borrow one of my DVDs, I either give it to them or I buy it for them. I figure it's easier than worrying about when it will be returned.

Lurdes
Lurdes,

That is a good point, but I didn't lend it to her because I didn't need it. She asked for it and I felt put on the spot. I didn't want to seem selfish, but I knew that she wasn't going to use them and unfortunately I was right. Think of how many people watch that infomercial and buy P90X and never use it.

She's out of town, but when she get's back I'll ask for them back. She has borrowed books from me in the past and I never seem to get them back. I don't care about that, because when I finish reading books I am done with them. My favorite DVDs are another story!
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Old 08-10-11, 12:25 PM  
topfitmama
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
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Originally Posted by Casswoman View Post
Has anyone thought of asking for a deposit when someone asks for something? I think they might be a bit more conscious of how they handle your stuff and about getting it back in a reasonable time if their money was involved. Just a thought
hmmm
I have a friend who would write down that she had lent you a book (because that's what I used to borrow) and the date. Somehow, seeing her do that kind of made it clear that she expected that book back... soon-ish.
A deposit may be a bit harsh, IMO. If I were asked for a deposit I'd probably either laugh and ask for the contract to sign, or I'd just decide not to borrow.
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Old 08-10-11, 02:09 PM  
jessicavi
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
I don't talk about my collection to people as a rule and I keep them hidden away from prying eyes. Even house guests that visited me last month don't see/know I have workouts. If asked about fitness (only people who know I was bigger ask), I say some vague thing about exercising at home (not videos) and eating healthier trying not to sound too excited. It's just less drama that way. Like someone else posted, when people haven't invested $$ in something, they are less committed. However, my co-worker knows that I have videos but she does not know how into them I am or how many I have. When she asked, I just said nonchalantly I have a few. So this January, she asked to borrow some after she bought P90X (for which she came to me for advice on it) and admitted she's not really into video workouts. I totally understand since she's been an outdoor runner for years. But winter here was really frigid this year. Yesterday, I finally got back the 2 DVDs I loaned her. I'd been trying to think of a way to ask for them back for quite some time. It came up some time ago and I tried not to seem anxious about them but I'm glad I didn't have to go and "borrow" them back. I asked her if they were good and all she said was "yes." I don't think she really did them. I don't even care, I'm just glad to have them back b/c I actually do love them and I hate to see my workouts sitting unused/unappreciated. But yeah, I had a feeling, they would not be used when she borrowed them and that they won't be returned quickly. But I just didn't want to seem selfish. I will have to come up with a way to deflect the question if she asks to borrow some again.

OTOH, I borrowed some wine glasses and silverware from her for my daughter's rehearsal dinner last month and I made sure to be really careful about how I took care of them b/c I know I'd want people to take care of my stuff if they borrowed it. I made sure to have them cleaned and returned to her pronto w/ much gratitude and thanks. I always remember the saying that if you borrow something, take better care of it than you do your stuff. I try to do that. I know we make mistakes but I really try to not lend stuff I can't part w/ or borrow stuff I'm not willing to replace if I break it (and I've had to replace borrowed stuff B4).
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Old 08-10-11, 03:41 PM  
Kathryn
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A lot of these lending stories make me go and reading this thread is making me PO'd at 'borrowers' who treat other people's possessions with such disrespect.

I guess whoever came up with the idea of "Neither a borrower nor a lender be" knew what s/he was talking about!

Quote:
Originally Posted by isebelleg44 View Post
She has borrowed books from me in the past and I never seem to get them back. I don't care about that, because when I finish reading books I am done with them. My favorite DVDs are another story!
Possibly that set a precedent in her mind that anything you 'loan' to her is hers to keep as long as she wants?
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Old 08-10-11, 03:53 PM  
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I never lend any of my workout DVDs out. I once loaned out a limited edition LP set and when I finally got it back it was so scratched it was unplayable
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Old 08-10-11, 03:55 PM  
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Originally Posted by casey View Post
If I did consider lending a DVD, it would have to be to a fellow idiot, not one of my real life friends that would leave it on a shelf and never do it. Shudder!

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I hope that's a typo, LOL!
That's funny!!!
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Women are Angels
And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly....on a broomstick...we are flexible like that
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Old 08-10-11, 03:59 PM  
Kathryn
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I once loaned out a limited edition LP set and when I finally got it back it was so scratched it was unplayable
I can't believe the condition some DVD's I get from Family Video or Netflix are in (even newer releases that couldn't have been rented very many times before me): scratches, smudges, what looks like pieces of candy stuck to the back of the DVD. I sometimes wonder how people handle them....or if they use them to play frisbee?
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