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Old 02-04-03, 04:03 PM  
suebella
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Angry Co-Worker Annoyance - thanks for listening!!

Please bear with me – this is so long – but I am so annoyed.

One of my co-workers recently asked me how she could “get in shape”. She has a stack of “Shape” and “Prevention” magazines on her desk and is always very careful about what she eats for lunch, but she has a little bit of a weight problem and by her own admission, doesn’t have an exercise routine.

Now, generally when people ask me for fitness advice I just give general sound bites, because I have discovered, frankly, that most non-exercisers don’t want to know what you really do. If I ever describe my exercise routine (which is not excessive by vidiot standards – I exercise five to six days a week, an hour a day, with a mixture of running, strength and flexibility training) they tell me I’m crazy.

But since this woman seemed interested, I wrote out my current rotation and lent her a couple of my intermediate tapes, Kathy Smiths “Upper and Lower Body” and Tamilee Webb’s “I Want Those…” series. Last Thursday, she came in, gave me back the tapes and told me I must be crazy to think she would ever pump iron like that. Yesterday at lunch she told me and a group of co-workers that her life was extremely busy, that as a mother her family is and would remain her first priority, and those who devoted themselves to more than the “recommended three hours” of exercise per week were bordering on “narcissistic”. I’m sure my eyes were popping out of my head, but I managed to keep my mouth closed.

Today at lunch the topic was walking for exercise. My coworker brought out an old copy of “Prevention” and started us telling how walking was the best exercise for everyone who cared about their joints at all. She talked for a half hour about how she and her girlfriends were getting a walking group together to walk two miles a day and “gab at the same time”. Her exact words. The kicker was when she looked at me and said significantly “I don’t know how you can stand it working out all by your lonesome in some stuffy, sweaty old room.” With a GREAT DEAL of effort, I kept my mouth shut.

Two things: I won’t be lunching with her again soon, and I will never offer any workout tapes to non-vidiots again. Nor will I open my mouth about exercise to those who I know aren’t truly interested. Let them get their fitness advice from Shape, Prevention, Self, etc., even though so much of it in those magazines is just bunk.

On the Cathe forum there was recently a similar thread called “Hostility Toward Exercise” and I have been wondering if exercise-related hostility (veiled or not!) is something you have ever encountered

Thank you for letting me rant!
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Old 02-04-03, 04:11 PM  
SassyGirl
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Sue Bella

You have every right to be angry and I cannot believe the rudeness of your co-workers! Especially the one who ASKED for your advice, borrowed your VIDEOS and then said such a smart aleck response to you. That is completely uncalled for. If I was complaining about some aspect of my life....let's say my weight, for example and a co-worker told me she had had success with a certain plan and then LENT ME her book, etc., I would be nothing but grateful to her for being so kind and for caring enough to want to help me. EVEN IF I didn't like the program or agree with it, or if I thought it was too excessive.....whatever....the fact is, you were being kind and considerate to try to help her and she was nothing but RUDE! Same goes for the other co-workers who criticised you.

The fact is.....these people are jealous of you because you have the willpower to stick to something and they don't and they know they never will. SO instead of admiring you, they feel green with envy and that is why they lash out. I bet you look 10 times better than them too which is probably really burning them up!

Anyway....you deserve to vent and I would feel the same way if that happened to me.

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Old 02-04-03, 04:17 PM  
Pilar
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Quote:
Originally posted by suebella
With a GREAT DEAL of effort, I kept my mouth shut.

Two things: I won’t be lunching with her again soon, and I will never offer any workout tapes to non-vidiots again. Nor will I open my mouth about exercise to those who I know aren’t truly interested. Let them get their fitness advice from Shape, Prevention, Self, etc., even though so much of it in those magazines is just bunk.
Suze,

I am sure the majority of VFers have been in your shoes. It certainly stings, doesn't it? And just to validate what you wrote, it does sound as if she criticized your priorities, your ability to judge whether or not you were causing yourself physical harm, and your social skills. You have every reason to be ticked.

That said, I congratulate you for taking the higher road. Even to the most casual observer (like me, who didn't even observe it), it sounds as if she is wigging out from some of her own choices. Her choices are entirely hers to make, and you are showing your class by not belittling her choices as she did yours. The lessons you cited? They are ones that I have learned, too. Welcome to the VF Club. There is a reason that I am so passionate about this website.

Pilar
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Old 02-04-03, 04:21 PM  
harpazo hope
 
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I'm an exercising mom!

I homeschool my boys and consider being their mom a full time job which keeps me very busy BUT if and when I don't take the time to exercise I am also a very busy and irritable mom. It happened just a few months ago. I need some way to release my stress and have some sort of accomplishment to be proud of at the end of the day. So a big reason for exercise is FOR my family...it doesn't take away from my family.
Jasmin
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Old 02-04-03, 04:33 PM  
Suzette
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Cool Just my opinion. . .

She may have realized that she doesn't have the discipline that you do. It's impressive to see someone attain a very healthy body when they aren't working out in a group atmosphere. Not many people can do it.

Her embarrassment may have come out in her nasty comments. Don't let her get to you.
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Old 02-04-03, 04:39 PM  
mary j.
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You are not alone

Yes, I loaned a co-worker one of my fav vids. She thanked me but a month later after no further discussion, I asked if she had time to try it & had she enjoyed it. Too busy & she would return it, didn't look like her cup of tea. OK, I said, no problem. It took another month to return it.

Another co-worker asked if I knew anything about yoga. I loaned her my Yoga for Weight Loss w/Suzanne Deason. After 2 weeks & no discussion, I asked what she thought of it. No time - too busy - she just can't be that selfish & hog the TV - her husband likes reality TV. She returned it.

This last one - my sister. She is somewhat overweight. She has a very high-powered job & travels a lot. I said to her the other day - guess what I did? I walked 2 miles today at home in front of the TV with my Leslie Sansone video. Her reply - that doesn't sound like fun. Well, I went on for a minute about how it felt like I was in a real exercise class but I didn't have to drive to a gym. And the weather report didn't bother me - I can still get a great workout. I could tell she thought I was silly. Nevermind - we moved onto another subject.

I'm sorry these people ridiculed you. I think it was a very nice thing that you did. The people here at VF are proud of you & are glad you are here with us in this little community. I have "met" many nice people on this site & have tried many videos that I would not have considered 3 years ago.

Wishing you a nice day.
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Old 02-04-03, 04:44 PM  
Diavolobella
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Well, that was interesting

My, my, what a special and unique way your coworker has of expressing her gratitude for the help you were kind enough to offer after she asked you for it. How lovely that she was considerate enough to not only promptly return what you generously offered her, but was able to phrase her appreciation so delightfully. Not only that, but I'm touched by the way she has continued to offer little sweet, endearing expressions of continued appreciation to remind you how much your help meant to her. Truly, you are blessed to work with such a glowing ray of sunshine. She must brighten the day of all who come near her. People like her make life worth living, do they not?

But, having said that, I know you would not want to tax her loving, warm personality any further by requiring her to go to such exhausting lengths trying to express her deep regard for you and your generosity anymore. For that reason, I think you are right to try to avoid her for a while. After all, you wouldn't want her to tire herself out with any more of these grand gestures of appreciation, would you?? :rolleyes:
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Old 02-04-03, 04:50 PM  
suzannaerin
 
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me, too

I get the same "dissection" at work, too. It's not really mean spirited, though. They all want to know what exactly I eat, and they hate it when I tell them that it isn't just food---you must exercise, too. Meanwhile, they are eating either frozen dinners, take out greasy food, or something similar. I have to admit that they get upset when I don't partake of junk food during going away lunches, holiday bashes, etc. Don't let it get you down. That coworker who borrowed your tape probably knew she hadn't the gumption to stick with it so she had to blame someone other than herself. YOU became the culprit because you just know that she couldn't face her own shortcomings and lack of discipline. Pity her---she's obviously in denial and is small minded.
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Old 02-04-03, 05:19 PM  
Lenore Levine
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Re: Just my opinion. . .

Quote:
Originally posted by Suzette
She may have realized that she doesn't have the discipline that you do. It's impressive to see someone attain a very healthy body when they aren't working out in a group atmosphere. Not many people can do it.
My guess is that the woman is just catty, and if she had a thousand times more discipline she would still be catty.

Unfortunately, a lot of woman are like that. They're always looking for plausibly deniable ways to stick pins in other women. They'll use any way they're different from you as ammunition.

I don't know what to do about her, but don't let her comments get to you.
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Old 02-04-03, 05:31 PM  
Jane P.
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Maybe she was ridiculed at home.

I wonder if the woman ran into some resistance from her own family members and projected it onto you. I don't blame you for being offended, but it may have had nothing to do with you.

Next time you find an article about the benefits of weight lifting for women, leave it out on your desk where you know she'll see it.
You won't need to say a word, but she'll get the message.

As for the selfishness thing. I struggle with that myself. I feel guilty about the time that exercise takes away from other things. My DH isn't openly hostile, but he doesn't completely approve.

This forum provides a wonderful outlet to those of us who have this unique hobby when the rest of the world doesn't quite get it.
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