OT: etiquette question re: potluck dinner

[bfit]

We were invited to someone's house for a potluck dinner. The hostess asked us to bring an entree and then directed me to a website with a specific recipe that she wanted us to make. I was inclined to just ignore her request because I always thought it was sort of rude to tell your guests exactly what to bring, but my husband thought it was OK. We ended up making something very similar to the recipe, but I'm still a little annoyed. What do you think? Now that I've written this I realize that in the grand scheme of things in the world today it's not that important, but I'm still curious what other people think.

[Kitten]

Oh God, that is so outside the bounds of normal behavior. It's rude. And controlling

The whole point of a potluck is the guests get to bring their signature dish. And so people can try things they've never had before.

[eventmom]

I'd be angry - I'm a terrible cook and bringing anything to a potluck is stressful for me, being told what to cook and something likely out of my comfort zone, I'd probably decline the invitation.

[bubbles76]

Not to fan the flames, but yea, I think that's pretty rude. If she wanted to control what was being bought to the potluck, why didn't she just (1) cater or (2) cook everything herself? I understand maybe having some simple conditions such as "gluten free dishes", "no meat", "no dairy", especially for people with food intolerances, beliefs, or in keeping with a theme, but that should be as far as it goes.

[summer breeze]

I too think it's rude and totally missing the point of a potluck dinner. I really don't understand people anymore. No one has manners or common sense. I think I would have ignored the request and made my signature dish or maybe not have gone at all, depending how close I was to the hostess. A close friend I would have went anyway with my signature dish .

[muggle]

Originally Posted by Kitten

Oh God, that is so outside the bounds of normal behavior. It's rude. And controlling

The whole point of a potluck is the guests get to bring their signature dish. And so people can try things they've never had before.

Exactly!! Or the hostess can narrow it down to "Can your bring an appetizer", "Can you bring a side dish", "Dessert". But to outright dictate what you make?! Rude.

[alisoncooks]

It would annoy me but maybe she was going for a themed meal, just divided up amongst guests. IDK...I've never experienced that.

[athompson10]

I'm happy to get some guidance from the hosts - bring a vegetable side dish, bring a dessert - but asking for a specific recipe is pretty nervy. If she wants it that badly, it should be HER contribution to the potluck.

[laurajhawk]

Originally Posted by Kitten

Oh God, that is so outside the bounds of normal behavior. It's rude. And controlling

The whole point of a potluck is the guests get to bring their signature dish. And so people can try things they've never had before.

This. And I don't want to be judged on how well I execute someone else's dish, either.

[Dorothy J]

Originally Posted by athompson10

I'm happy to get some guidance from the hosts - bring a vegetable side dish, bring a dessert - but asking for a specific recipe is pretty nervy. If she wants it that badly, it should be HER contribution to the potluck.

My thoughts exactly.