Susan,
I'm so sorry for your loss and the circumstances surrounding it.
I think in this case you have to follow your heart and not your head, you have to do what feels right for you in the moment and what that is will change with the moment.
I understand about wanting to get back to normal, and feel normal, but I don't think that is something you can force w/ a strict workout schedule or eating plan. Just take steps every day that feel right for where you are and how you are feeling and things will fall into place.
I also agree with others who have suggested counseling through either a therapist or clergy - I tend to resist such things myself, but I think in certain circumstances, getting another person's perspective and strategies for coping can be very helpful.
((HUGS))
Donna
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