OT - Looking for some input

Gams · 06-03-20, 12:28 PM

My great-nephew is 13 years old. He got a job doing lawn care and I offered to give him a ride to and from work. He has a terrible home life. His father has never been around and his mother is hardly around herself and not a good mother when she is around. He started his job last Wednesday and things were going well. I was at his house at 6:00 to pick him up and he had been ready every morning until today. Today I texted him that I was at his house and he texted that he was too tired and sore to work. On the one hand I understand because they have been working him very hard - 10 hours a day - many adults wouldn’t be able to do physical labor for 10 hours a day. And I think they have a tendency to forget he’s only 13 because he’s over 6 ft. tall. On the other hand, I’m annoyed because it’s a 110 mile round trip just to pick him up and get him to work and another 110 mile round trip at night. I have to get up at 4:00 every morning and between gas and food, I’ve been spending $40 a day. So I’m annoyed he didn’t tell me he wasn’t going to work until after I had driven over 50 miles to pick him up.

What I plan on doing is calling him this afternoon and reminding him what a good opportunity this is. (They are paying him $10 an hour), but if he wants to quit, I’ll understand but either way, he owes me $10 for gas and the McDonald’s I bought for him this morning.

I just want to be careful what I say to him because I want him to know I’m on his side, but I also want him to learn responsibility.

Any input?

bzar · 06-03-20, 12:59 PM

it's good of you to volunteer to do this for him.

what was your agreement with him when this all started? was he going to reimburse you for gas and food?

if there was no agreement at the outset, then right now would be a good time to agree on how you will be proceeding going forward, such as contacting you early if he plans to stay home, reimbursement (maybe you can do a cost share if 100% reimbursement is too harsh on him), etc.

also, what was the agreement with his employer? were 10-hour days specified up front? maybe he could talk to employer about mixing long days with short days so he can recover. otherwise he will burn out or worse, get injured. i'm guessing he doesn't have medical with this employer, but even so, recovery is important.

it all boils down to expectations. i wouldn't scold him when you have a talk with him - just explain to him your side of it (driving, getting up early, etc) and what you're willing to do for him going forward. also, ask him what he expects from you and make sure you're on the same page.

LAC · 06-03-20, 02:59 PM

I don't know what state you are in but I'm wondering if hiring a 13 year old to work 10 hour days is even legal.

In NYS, a 13 year old could work a maximum of 4 hours a day hand harvesting berries, fruits and vegetables. Or they could work up to 4 hours a day as a newspaper carrier on a school day or 5 hours a day on non-school days. I'm fairly certain they could not be hired by a company to work 10 hours a day at lawn care.

PhyllisG · 06-03-20, 03:02 PM

Remember he might be over 6 ft tall but he is onlu 13 years old. That is a long day.8

alisoncooks · 06-03-20, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PhyllisG

Remember he might be over 6 ft tall but he is onlu 13 years old. That is a long day.8

Golly, I have a 13 year old (14 next week). I can't imagine her doing 10 hours of anything!

ChelePA · 06-03-20, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alisoncooks

Golly, I have a 13 year old (14 next week). I can't imagine her doing 10 hours of anything!

In the state of Pennsylvania, hours are limited for those under 16. I don’t think you can officially start working until you’re 14 years old. . My daughter started last year and only worked four hour shifts at the age of 15. Tonight she has an eight hour shift since she turned 16, and she complained about it every day. Ha ha. I agree about talking it out with him. Maybe less hours and less shifts. That is a long day for a 13-year-old. And I think it is amazing what you are doing for him! Good luck!

suzannaerin · 06-03-20, 03:49 PM

Sounds like whoever hired him is breaking the law. He's paid in cash, I bet.

You're a good person to help him and he sounds responsible, except for today. I don't have children so I'm not really qualified to give advice from that perspective. Jeannine's advice sounds spot on.

It sounds like this kid is probably raising himself. Are his parents supporting him financially? Is the job necessary for him to buy clothing, etc. or is it spending money? If it's the latter, that's one thing but if he's working to support himself, he's an impressive soul to take on adult responsibilities way before he should have to do so . At 13, he shouldn't be working `10 hour days, he should be able to have some time to be a kid!

My heart goes out to him.

bzar · 06-03-20, 03:54 PM

i think this is something like babysitting the neighbor's kids. although i agree that 10 hours is a lot for one day of hard labor.

babysitting neighbor's kids or mowing neighbor's yard or washing their car can fall under the radar when it comes to legality. i'm not saying to break the law, but there are a lot of "cash only" jobs around.

p.s. this reminds me of a 2018 movie called "Measure of a Man" with a teenager and Donald Sutherland as the employer.

BunnyHop · 06-03-20, 03:59 PM

As others have said, I'm wondering how a thirteen year old child can possibly be allowed to do this kind of manual labor for ten hours a day?

Child labor laws exist for a reason!

It's great that you want to be supportive, but how is it reasonable for you to be doing so much driving? 110 miles each way? Every day? That's A LOT.

I guess my concern is that none of this sounds especially sustainable or healthy, for either of you. And I do wonder if it's even legal, given his age.

LAC · 06-03-20, 04:05 PM

Some info from US Department of Labor:

https://webapps.dol.gov/elaws/faq/es...662.1591218013

The Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA) sets 14 as the minimum age for most non-agricultural work. However, at any age, youth may deliver newspapers; perform in radio, television, movie, or theatrical productions; work in businesses owned by their parents (except in mining, manufacturing or hazardous jobs); and perform babysitting or perform minor chores around a private home. Also, at any age, youth may be employed as homeworkers to gather evergreens and make evergreen wreaths.

Different age requirements apply to the employment of youth in agriculture.

And here's a helpful website: https://www.youthrules.gov/know-the-limits/index.htm

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06-03-20, 12:28 PM
Gams Join Date: Mar 2007	OT - Looking for some input My great-nephew is 13 years old. He got a job doing lawn care and I offered to give him a ride to and from work. He has a terrible home life. His father has never been around and his mother is hardly around herself and not a good mother when she is around. He started his job last Wednesday and things were going well. I was at his house at 6:00 to pick him up and he had been ready every morning until today. Today I texted him that I was at his house and he texted that he was too tired and sore to work. On the one hand I understand because they have been working him very hard - 10 hours a day - many adults wouldn’t be able to do physical labor for 10 hours a day. And I think they have a tendency to forget he’s only 13 because he’s over 6 ft. tall. On the other hand, I’m annoyed because it’s a 110 mile round trip just to pick him up and get him to work and another 110 mile round trip at night. I have to get up at 4:00 every morning and between gas and food, I’ve been spending $40 a day. So I’m annoyed he didn’t tell me he wasn’t going to work until after I had driven over 50 miles to pick him up. What I plan on doing is calling him this afternoon and reminding him what a good opportunity this is. (They are paying him $10 an hour), but if he wants to quit, I’ll understand but either way, he owes me $10 for gas and the McDonald’s I bought for him this morning. I just want to be careful what I say to him because I want him to know I’m on his side, but I also want him to learn responsibility. Any input?

06-03-20, 12:59 PM
bzar Exchange Moderator Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: PalmTreeVille	it's good of you to volunteer to do this for him. what was your agreement with him when this all started? was he going to reimburse you for gas and food? if there was no agreement at the outset, then right now would be a good time to agree on how you will be proceeding going forward, such as contacting you early if he plans to stay home, reimbursement (maybe you can do a cost share if 100% reimbursement is too harsh on him), etc. also, what was the agreement with his employer? were 10-hour days specified up front? maybe he could talk to employer about mixing long days with short days so he can recover. otherwise he will burn out or worse, get injured. i'm guessing he doesn't have medical with this employer, but even so, recovery is important. it all boils down to expectations. i wouldn't scold him when you have a talk with him - just explain to him your side of it (driving, getting up early, etc) and what you're willing to do for him going forward. also, ask him what he expects from you and make sure you're on the same page. __________________ ~jeannine Miyagi: Wax on, right hand. Wax off, left hand. Wax on, wax off. Breathe in through nose, out the mouth. Wax on, wax off. Don't forget to breathe, very important. [walks away, still making circular motions with hands] ~ Pat Morita, The Karate Kid, 1984 disclosure: in the years 2002-2004 i had a professional relationship with a distributor of fitness videos; see profile.

06-03-20, 02:59 PM
LAC Join Date: Apr 2006	I don't know what state you are in but I'm wondering if hiring a 13 year old to work 10 hour days is even legal. In NYS, a 13 year old could work a maximum of 4 hours a day hand harvesting berries, fruits and vegetables. Or they could work up to 4 hours a day as a newspaper carrier on a school day or 5 hours a day on non-school days. I'm fairly certain they could not be hired by a company to work 10 hours a day at lawn care.

06-03-20, 03:02 PM
PhyllisG Join Date: May 2005 Location: Woodstock NY	Remember he might be over 6 ft tall but he is onlu 13 years old. That is a long day.8

06-03-20, 03:49 PM
suzannaerin Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Arlington, VA	Sounds like whoever hired him is breaking the law. He's paid in cash, I bet. You're a good person to help him and he sounds responsible, except for today. I don't have children so I'm not really qualified to give advice from that perspective. Jeannine's advice sounds spot on. It sounds like this kid is probably raising himself. Are his parents supporting him financially? Is the job necessary for him to buy clothing, etc. or is it spending money? If it's the latter, that's one thing but if he's working to support himself, he's an impressive soul to take on adult responsibilities way before he should have to do so . At 13, he shouldn't be working `10 hour days, he should be able to have some time to be a kid! My heart goes out to him.

06-03-20, 03:54 PM
bzar Exchange Moderator Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: PalmTreeVille	i think this is something like babysitting the neighbor's kids. although i agree that 10 hours is a lot for one day of hard labor. babysitting neighbor's kids or mowing neighbor's yard or washing their car can fall under the radar when it comes to legality. i'm not saying to break the law, but there are a lot of "cash only" jobs around. p.s. this reminds me of a 2018 movie called "Measure of a Man" with a teenager and Donald Sutherland as the employer. __________________ ~jeannine Miyagi: Wax on, right hand. Wax off, left hand. Wax on, wax off. Breathe in through nose, out the mouth. Wax on, wax off. Don't forget to breathe, very important. [walks away, still making circular motions with hands] ~ Pat Morita, The Karate Kid, 1984 disclosure: in the years 2002-2004 i had a professional relationship with a distributor of fitness videos; see profile.

06-03-20, 03:59 PM
BunnyHop Join Date: Nov 2008	As others have said, I'm wondering how a thirteen year old child can possibly be allowed to do this kind of manual labor for ten hours a day? Child labor laws exist for a reason! It's great that you want to be supportive, but how is it reasonable for you to be doing so much driving? 110 miles each way? Every day? That's A LOT. I guess my concern is that none of this sounds especially sustainable or healthy, for either of you. And I do wonder if it's even legal, given his age. __________________ Anna

06-03-20, 04:05 PM
LAC Join Date: Apr 2006	Some info from US Department of Labor: https://webapps.dol.gov/elaws/faq/es...662.1591218013 The Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA) sets 14 as the minimum age for most non-agricultural work. However, at any age, youth may deliver newspapers; perform in radio, television, movie, or theatrical productions; work in businesses owned by their parents (except in mining, manufacturing or hazardous jobs); and perform babysitting or perform minor chores around a private home. Also, at any age, youth may be employed as homeworkers to gather evergreens and make evergreen wreaths. Different age requirements apply to the employment of youth in agriculture. And here's a helpful website: https://www.youthrules.gov/know-the-limits/index.htm