Quote:
Originally Posted by Lulu Belle
There is still so much we don't want to talk about with mental health - but we need to make it more open and forgiving. I have someone who is very dear and close to me who is suffering depression. I don't know what to do to help. I encourage therapy and acceptance. I try to highlight all of this person's wonderful qualities. I try to help this person realize that I love them dearly and that I will do anything, anything for them. But I don't know if that's enough.
So many people suffer and feel that they are alone. It tears my heart apart - if I could just help this person realize that they are not trudging through this life without a support system...
I want to do more, and I don't even know what to do.
Please don't think that they are cowards or don't value life. Please don't. The hurt that they are experiencing is so much bigger.
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You are correct... Suicide runs in my family as well as anxiety & general depression from lots of life difficulty. Sometimes extreme pain & sadness daily for years pushes someone to want the pain to just end. It actually hurts physically & often constantly, daily....for years & years. Some have extremely difficult & painful lives from birth on or for most of their life. This kind of depression/despondency (with no bipolar, psychiatric disorders present) can just evolve over years of pain in one's life from many many things over a prolonged period. Which at times can physically feel unbearable. It is difficult for a positive happy healthy person to understand sometimes. The person wishes to be happy & healthy but cannot get there for various happen stances in life. It ends up hurting, often for years & years. No medication is a miracle cure.
I was in social work in the mental health & public sector for many years. My family has all the history of depression due to varying factors. Some socio-environmental, some genetic, some ongoing situational... The one who suffers really really hurts. The pain becomes too much to bear & they just want the pain to stop. Nothing helps sometimes...no counselling, no understanding, no medicine. Sometimes a person gets tired of trying to feel well as most of the time nothing works. It is not always something that can be "fixed". It really is an ongoing illness with many complex causes, symptoms & affects... I have it too and even though educationally I understand the illness from many theories, perspectives, personal experiences, professional experience... Some days nothing has helped.
My personal journey now involves a deep faith based approach...but every person struggling is unique. So many factors are usually involved. I can only say that it is often a day at a time approach for myself & finding faith & strength to hang in there. Life is hard. Not everyone has a joy filled existance. Some people constantly go through pain. Depression hurts. We need to be compassionate & understanding. We need to be kind to each other & forgiving. And sonetimes it is difficult but we cannot judge the level of someone else's pain.
I managed a crisis support line for years & those kinds of resources can be great in the interim for someone in pain. They can access medical if need be or immediate crisis intervention. Get them talking. Confidential support. Get them grounded. Sometimes medications are not taken. Sometimes medications are not working or are not enough. But try not to judge. And try not to handle it alone as this can be extremely draining for family members to deal with ongoing. The more community supports & connecting/networking with the proper resources can be life saving. But it can be frustrating as there is not always enough support from hospitals and/or community medical support services for mental health issues. At least our community certainly needs to broaden its scope & awareness.
I hope my personal experience helps someone a little... God bless. We have lost a few family members as well and had several close calls. Myself included. I am actually now on an early retirement due to an eventual mini breakdown after a lifetime of struggle and finally a cluster of situations over years that brought depression & PTSD to the surface. My work experience for over 20years in the social services & health care sectors helped me understand it better as well... But somedays are still difficult as my life continues to throw hardships & tough curves... Some days it is still one day at a time. But for me I have to have faith in the Word now or I would surely end up in a worse head space most months. Some of us just have really hard lives & go through too much each year. It gets draining, exhausting, tiring... So I must pray for strength & help going through it daily. I do not think I would have survived without God, my mom and my furbaby pup Seattle. We have to have something to hang on to that helps us move forward & continue on...