04-03-12, 08:04 PM | ||
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04-03-12, 08:18 PM | ||
Join Date: Feb 2006
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04-03-12, 08:38 PM | |
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Michigan
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Yes, Debbie, you are an amazing woman and an inspiration to all of us here. I have never been prone to depression, maybe, that's why I work out so much, so I don't get depressed, who knows. You should seek help as someone mentioned from your children and parents. Lately though, I hve been struggling with my BFFs death in January. It seems like lately, this last few weeks has been extremely hard on me. Since we bought land together and built our houses together 22 years ago, we always had each other only a house away. Now, she is gone and buried in the cemetery that runs along our easement that we share. She is actually buried right in front of her property. I ride by the gravesite everyday. My life has totally changed when she died. Living here isn't the same and never will be. I just have to work through it.
Cheryl |
04-03-12, 08:48 PM | ||
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: South Florida
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04-03-12, 09:32 PM | |
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Join Date: Oct 2006
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I just want to say that I am both moved by some of the posts here and inspired by the strength of the posters and appreciate the sharing of their struggles. If anything positive can be gained from Sean's death maybe it is that what we do and say and how we treat others really does matter and we really can make a difference in someone else's life. He certainly did make a difference to many people and it is tragic that he may not have realized this in his darkest hours.
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04-03-12, 09:35 PM | |
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Join Date: Nov 2001
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I just want to send cyberhugs to all of you who are suffering or have suffered in the past. And to Sean's family. It's all so sad and I've seen firsthand how hard it is to help people who feel helpless. I hope this thread helps someone though!
Ronnee |
04-03-12, 09:43 PM | ||
Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Upstate, NY
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Oh my gosh, this is a novel.
tl dr: medication isn't the only way to treat real depression. We need to rethink our ideas of the problem. Quote:
It worries me the way our culture tends to believe that "real" (medical, not faking) depression can only be treated with medication and that "fake" ("merely psychological") depression gets treated with therapy. We should think of psychological therapy more like we do physical therapy. In many cases, there is an imbalance for some reason (it's not clear that the reason is always biological in origin*). As a result, one develops habits trying to accommodate the imbalance. Just like when there is a physical imbalance--it might be caused by an injury, a weird habit or an attempt to accommodate a natural physical variation. In either case, once we fix the imbalance, the unhelpful habits also need to be addressed. There should be no more shame in going to a psychologist to work through issues and develop better mental habits than there is going to PT to fix a limp or malfunctioning joint. The only reason that I survived my adolescence is that I believed in reincarnation and believed that if I killed myself I would have to come back and relieve the same lessons. The only idea worse to me than continuing on was the idea of having to come back and start over. I didn't find a therapist who helped until grad school (and much to my chagrin, I have found behavioral/cognitive therapy more helpful than more "touchy-feely" kinds). My depression isn't as deep as many people's, but it has also been something I've dealt with going on 30 years now. It waxes and wanes, but it is almost never far. But I've learned skills that help me recognize when it's getting ready to make a move, and skills to help keep it at bay. I worry that our belief that either mental illness is medical (and there is nothing we can do about it other than take medicine) or faked/a sign of weakness (as evidenced by the need for therapy) leads to people dying because the medication isn't enough to solve all of their problems (e.g. I had a friend who was still making TERRIBLE decisions even though she was on anti-depressants. The drugs couldn't keep up with her bad habits, but she didn't believe therapy could help because she had "medical" depression). Of course part of the problem is that it can be tricky to match a person needing help with the therapist that is appropriate to them. I am drawn to more touch-feely/"let's talk about what happened when you were a child"-type therapists, but the fact is, I do better with ones that are more behavioral in approach [they give me homework behaviors to practice and I report back]. While we have no problem accepting that it might take a few tries to get medication right, we don't tend to accept the same process might be necessary for finding the appropriate therapist. Minds/brains are very complicated things, and we should encourage anything that could help people. *(they can't actually show the cause of depression--we talk about "chemical imbalance" but the data to support that is simply that drugs seem to work. That's not great evidence for that theory).
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cardio coach, coach sean, depression |
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