Can we talk Exchange Board etiquette?

[JENILU]

Originally Posted by Alta-tude

I rarely trade anymore for the above reasons and more. (Although, my last few trades have gone very well.)

Things ain't what they used to be. On VF and in society in general. (Ha, I sound like the old person that I am. Err, I mean "vintage.")

I guess all of us on this thread are vintage.

I was thinking about the times changing just yesterday in that NO-ONE seems to know what a blinker or yield sign is anymore. I guess they have too much to do with common courtesy to be useful these days.

[JackieB]

Well, with dvds on the way out there will no longer be anything for us to trade any more.

I trade very rarely also b/c of reasons listed and the fact I have narrowed my interests in exercise. Now I am purging and either sell or gift. I can not believe how many people I have gifted dvds to and not a thank you or even acknowledgement that the dvd arrived.

Oh well.

Jackie

[topfitmama]

Originally Posted by JackieB

I can not believe how many people I have gifted dvds to and not a thank you or even acknowledgement that the dvd arrived.

Oh well.

Jackie

I think everyone I've gifted DVDs to has gotten back to me and let me know they received it and thanked me for it. With trades, it seems like some people think that no news is good news, and some won't message me to know they received their end of the trade. I always let people know.
I haven't traded in ages. I haven't bought anything since January!!!!

[LoveVA]

Originally Posted by JackieB

I trade very rarely also b/c of reasons listed and the fact I have narrowed my interests in exercise. Now I am purging and either sell or gift. I can not believe how many people I have gifted dvds to and not a thank you or even acknowledgement that the dvd arrived.

Oh well.

Jackie

Well, I'm still waiting for a thank you note from my cousin for the wedding gift I gave him 2 years ago. I don't think I'll get it.

A lot of it is down to good old fashioned etiquette. I know that mistakes can happen, but really, fewer and fewer people care about manners (especially when it come to cell phones, email, etc) and don't even understand why they should care. Heck, I still bring a gift to the host or hostess whenever I'm a guest at someone's house.

[bubbles76]

Originally Posted by Laura S.

I usually respond to emails. However, once in awhile, one gets by me. I see it at work while I'm really busy and I want to check something at home before I respond and then I forget. I've been glad when the person gently reminds me about responding instead of writing me off as rude person who doesn't deserve to be communicated with.

It happens to the best of us, if you trade long enough and/or often enough. I can't imagine just not responding to a trade email as a rule - you're right, that's rude. But, we are all human and things can get past us as well.

I am hoping that this is the case. It is lovely to think so I know I wasn't able to respond for a few days because my internet was out at home. So anything can happen. Or maybe the person accidentally deleted their private messages (i did this recently). I have received some nice gifts recently, and I hope I let everyone know that I appreciate them!

[Yelly]

Originally Posted by sbh

Some wait until they receive their end of the trade before sending out their dvds too. Times are a changing!

Yes! I had been away from the forum for close to a year, and just recently started trading again. I was almost shocked when a person I traded with told me that people had been doing this to her, and she was so appreciative of how easy our trade was. I had never heard of such a thing before this. So, my question is - who gets to decide this? If both of the traders decide not to send out their dvd until they receive it from the other person - then nobody gets their trade!!! It makes no sense! If you're going to trade, it involves a certain level of trust - that's just the way it is - you're taking a chance. I guess I choose to give the other person the benefit of the doubt. If your dvds are that precious to you, then you should probably not be trading.

With that being said, I've only had good experiences with trading here, for the most part, and I love that it's still an option for us vidiots The only time I remember a problem was when I traded one of my Cathe's, and the other person said it didn't have something or other on the dvd, so it looked like a fake - which was strange, since I purchased ALL of my Cathe dvds directly from her site, usually during her presales. I didn't even know what to say to that!

Mistakes happen, people are human - they forget, they misjudge. I think it's good of the OP for starting this thread, so we can air out some of these things.

[Sarah-lara]

Originally Posted by kaia

If both of the traders decide not to send out their dvd until they receive it from the other person - then nobody gets their trade!!! It makes no sense!

They each would get what they deserve! I had a phase where four or five traders in a row all did this, two of them waited something like three full weeks after receiving their package. I guess they wanted to try out the trade and see if they got results before mailing out mine. Three of them outright lied about when they mailed their end and either stuck to the lie or ignored my PMs. (I guess they didn't realize the post office usually stamps the date it's mailed right on the package.) One other person never had the DVD she offered and actually tried trading for it once our deal was made, which took her months. That's the only person I ever talked to the mod's about and she/he is no longer here.

I don't get it either and I wrote those people off from future trading (it was sort of funny to see one of them start a thread later complaining about someone doing this to her). Let me know life got in the way; I'm not going to complain over an extra day or three. But don't go to crazy ends to avoid such a small risk that you agreed to by trading.

OVERALL, don't let me turn people away from the Exchange board. It's great. Like getting something for nothing, and truly, almost everybody is honest.

[sherry7899]

Sarah-I am so sorry you had so many bad experiences! I haven't traded much in a long time, but I was lucky to have almost all positive experiences when I did.

Sherry

[ddj]

Originally Posted by kaia

So, my question is - who gets to decide this?

This happened to me more when I first came to VF, so I guess people were leary of me since I was new. But they never told me they were going to do it, they just did. And it has continued to happen even though I've been here for several years now.

Originally Posted by Sarah-lara

Three of them outright lied about when they mailed their end and either stuck to the lie or ignored my PMs. (I guess they didn't realize the post office usually stamps the date it's mailed right on the package.)

This has happened to me. I've had people tell me I should be getting the dvd any day since they mailed it on such and such a date but then the postmark indicates that it didn't even go out until about three days after they PM'd me.

But then I've also had several people PM me and say they just got the dvd I sent on that day but tracking indicated it had arrived a couple of days before. That one still confuses me.

[JackieB]

I have never heard over people holding their trades until they receive theirs! Wow! I guess if I arrange a trade I just put it in the mail right away.

I do have to say I've had some great trades; even international ones. I am usually the one to say "I received the dvd in the mail today" and the other will say "oh I got mine, too".

I think in general people have gotten less communicative. Maybe we have too much electronic communication.

Jackie