Anyone have baby over 40, was difficult to get body back?

[dmlarue1]

Hi everyone
After few years of unsuccessful fertility treatments, my husband and I are
Considering embryo adoption. We are considering this route because we like
The idea of being with our baby from day one and it is a more affordable option
For us than domestic or international adoption.
I am concerned about my body. I have always struggled with my weight
And I know being older wont help. Anyone have any experience in this?
I am also little worried about being a old mom at 40. Most of my friends are divorced with teenagers! But I also feel
That if I don't try that I will always regret it. I've made peace with not having my own biological children. My husband has 3 biological from a previous marriage, but would love to have more.

[Buzzer]

I had my Little Buzzer 20 days before my 41st birthday. It's been tougher to get my body back, but I also haven't been as focused on it as I thought I would be. My priorities have changed
My abs especially have been a problem. But, they were stretched to make room for the little critter, so I am trying to be easier on myself.

I was and still am concerned about being an older Mom, although I look about 10 years younger & feel at least that, I know that number is there. I even had a high school acquaintance I ran into assume LB was an accident since I had her so late in life! I just kinda stood there dumbfounded, and regret not reading her the riot act. She has 3 teenagers, so she's in a different mindset.

It's odd that some of my HS friends are grandparents even, but you know what? they had their kids way early. That was weird for me at the time, so I can understand why my choices may be weird to them now. I've always been a late bloomer, and this is just how my timeline has worked out.

I've met Moms that are in their 30's that look older than me, that have more health problems than me, that are less active than me, so I figure I'm doing good at my age and have motivation (LB) to keep myself healthy.

Besides, I really believe I am a better Mom, I'm more patient, more focused on enjoying LB, and more willing to set my selfish ways aside for her than I would have been in my 20's or 30's. I'm enjoying being a Mom so much, and like you, would have regretted not given myself the chance to experience this. It's tough, but mostly mentally tough.

Congratulations on your decision! I'd love to keep updated on how you're doing, and PM me if you just need an older friend to vent to. Sometimes it's lonely being older, but only if I really think about it. sorry about your struggles,and I hope this is your light at the end of the tunnel!

[dmlarue1]

Thanks Buzzer. That was nice to hear. I have been a late bloomer too. I just got married 4 years ago and everyone in my family was shocked because they had given up on me! I will keep you up to date. The process takes a long time. Our appointment is in June so our transfer will not be until July or August.
I am going to use this time to try to get in better shape and be more consistent with my workouts. I am so excited to try, that I am going to focus on that instead of feeling nervous about being older.

[Cassy]

After a long road I gave birth to my DD last Oct at 43. I second everything that Buzzer wrote. I have to sometimes really think about how old I was because I don't feel 43. I had a pretty complication free pregnancy but did have to be monitored a lot. Every time I went in the nurses (without looking at my age) would ask why I was there. I said "because I'm old". They said "oh don't worry 50% of our patients are 35 or older". I just said "oh ok". When I was in labor one of the nurses finally looked at my chart and said "OMG I didn't realize how old you are what's your secret?". I said "don't have kids until you are over 40"

Really in a perfect world I wasn't ready to have kids until like 37. Some of us just take time to be ready.

I do have a close friend who did embryo adoption and has a perfect little girl and I believe gave birth to her at 46.

Anyway back to your question. I did go through fertility treatments and gained a lot just from that. So I got pregnant heavier than I had ever been. I believe it was from the stress of it all I just wasn't eating at my best. I had to have a csection and that really did knock me on my butt. But I did lose about 25-30lbs within the first month just from water weight. Which was my whole pregnancy weight gain. It has however been harder to lose the weight gained from fertility treatments. I feel my legs and face have gone back but my belly is still big. So I've been trying to wear this ab thing they give you after delivery. I probably should have been more consistent with it before. I am breastfeeding but it's not magic for me yet. However I still have faith I can get the weight off. I would say don't let the weight be the reason you don't try. The baby is worth it. I think if I could have had a natural delivery weight could be coming off faster but my abs still hurt if I overdo it. I mainly walk and have just started getting back into workouts now that I'm 3 months past csection.

I just want to add that my mother had me at 28 and she passed away a few years back. However I have a few friends my age whose mother had them at 40 and their mothers are still alive. So there is no way to predict what will happen in the future.

[JackieB]

My last baby I had at 41. I had my first at 30 (I have 4 kids) and the older I got the harder it was to lose the baby weight.

That said, I did lose it and have gotten into pretty decent shape, really. Pros and cons with being an older mom but really it's all good. I love my kids and am happy to be home with them.

Breastfeeding...so good for the baby and you. I nursed all my kids for a long time. It didn't work like magic for me to lose weight, but who care?

Good luck with everything!

Jackie

[Jeanne Marie]

No experience to share, but just popping in to say good luck and good health!

Interesting comparison.... my mom had me at age 25 in 1956. She was considered a somewhat "older" first time mom. Thirty years later, I had my son at age 30 in 1987. I was considered a somewhat "older" first time mom. And now, almost 30 years after that, age 40 and above is the yardstick they use for somewhat older. Each generation seems to get healthier and more knowledgeable, so the age for a safe and healthy pregnancy seems to increase as well.

You will do great!

[ellaenchanted]

I just want to say good luck!

[Jacqi A]

Good luck from me, too!
I had my kids earlier, 1st one after fertility treatments.
I hope everything works out & then in a couple of years you'll have a toddler to keep you running around, then later s/he can do DVDs with you.
Several of my friends had kids in their early 40s, it's not that uncommon.

[Leonana]

I was a late bloomer too. Married at 36 and had dd at 41. I'm 54 now, and my dd is 13. I think having a child later keeps you young! I did worry about being older with a child, but exercise has given me a serenity about it, that there is something I can do to be healthy and active as a parent.

I went up one size after having dd, and then another size with menopause at age 50. I actually found menopause harder to deal with!

I only recently got back to my pre-dd size. However, I didn't start exercising until I turned 50. One size up didn't bother me as much as two sizes up! It helped some, but it wasn't until a year ago when I changed the D word that I started losing inches. I also changed my exercising from three days per week to six (30-40 minutes/intermediate level). So, if you are eating right and exercising, I think you can get back to the same size. The skin won't be as firm, but hey, at least it's covered up by clothes, lol.

I did eat pretty healthy while pregnant with dd and exercised with Kathy Smith's pregnancy dvd. I think it was very effective, as I had a homebirth. I wish I had kept up with the exercising, but quit after I had her. I also breastfed, which was great for both of us, but I didn't notice any weight loss from it. However, studies show it reduces your risk of breast cancer, so there are other benefits for mom, and obviously tons for the baby.

[BigBadBetty]

I have no advice and wish you luck. I just wanted to say that I am 41. In the last 5 years, there has been a baby boom among my college friends so you won't be alone as an "older" mother. To me, all my friends looks about the same as they did before baby. Of course, I am seeing them clothed.