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Old 11-28-20, 09:53 AM  
seagreen01
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Befit, I can relate and these days I am vague about fitness and avoid trying to help.

I have a close friend who I grew up with and she loves food and struggles to keep her weight down. A few years ago she asked me to help her and wanted to know what I was doing for fitness. I told her that it was a combination of weights and cardio with an emphasis on weights. The next question was would I work out with her which I was not keen on at my home but I suggested she go to a gym for a program. Next was, ‘will you come with me and join too as I’m not comfortable to start on my own?’ I decided I could go back to gym for a break from home exercising but for a short time so I said yes. Her next need was to go to a female only gym. ‘I feel uncomfortable with men around.’ Ok. The best deal at the female only gym was a twelve month membership. First week with the new program my friend seemed enthused. The second week she dropped the weights program and used only the cardio machines, (treadmill and recumbent bike). The third week she didn’t turn up but said she was changing to another studio within the same group of gyms because it had a beautiful view out of the window from the cardio machines room and it would be more inspiring. By the fourth week I didn’t know or care where or what she was up to but I knew it would be over soon.
I had to work hard to make that gym work for me. It was the longest exercise year of my life.
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Old 11-28-20, 09:57 AM  
hdw
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Nobody asks me anything fitness related lol.
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Old 11-28-20, 10:47 AM  
DJ-H
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Cher on this forum has a quote in her signature that I always think of. Maybe it would be good advice and end the discussion. Who knows.
"You're not going to get the butt you want sitting on the one you have!"

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Old 11-28-20, 10:55 AM  
BunnyHop
 
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I think the basic problem is that in order to achieve your goals you have to schedule time for them in your ordinary life and you have to follow through.

For me, workouts are one of those no-excuses things that I only achieve when I have a schedule and stick to it.

These days it's all very loose, but committing to a workout every day means that I do it before bed, if nothing else.

The so-called rules that you're "not supposed to workout right before bedtime" just muddy the waters for most people.

I think most people just don't understand that for the most part, it's not what you do, but that you do it consistently that makes the difference.

As fanofladyvols said, a lot of times even when it sounds as though they're asking for specific advice, what most people want is encouragement and sympathy.
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Old 11-28-20, 12:10 PM  
dianestjohn
 
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Originally Posted by Gams View Post
I would say, “Gosh, I think I’ve given you all the info I can. I can’t think of anything else - maybe you can find more online.”
This is the perfect combo of gentle and direct. True, kind and necessary 😀
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Old 11-28-20, 12:38 PM  
bzar
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gams View Post
I would say, “Gosh, I think I’ve given you all the info I can. I can’t think of anything else - maybe you can find more online.”
Quote:
Originally Posted by dianestjohn View Post
This is the perfect combo of gentle and direct. True, kind and necessary 😀
i agree.

the decision to do something truly comes from within, including working out.
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Old 11-28-20, 01:09 PM  
Paula N
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Originally Posted by BunnyHop View Post
I think most people just don't understand that for the most part, it's not what you do, but that you do it consistently that makes the difference.
Exactly! I try to tell people to just do whatever activities they enjoy the most, but they do seem to be looking for magic bullet. Like here's a secret 5-minute combination of exercises you can do twice a week to have a perfect body in a month. Plus, I am always hesitant to share with people that I spend the vast majority of my workout time dancing around to 25 year-old VHS tapes in my basement. Works for me, but not everyone's cup of tea.

The other reality that a lot of people don't understand is that exercise is not going to have the dramatic results they are expecting. There are easily a hundred different health and lifestyle benefits from regular exercise, but a drastic transformation into a model-like body is not one of them.
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Old 11-28-20, 02:32 PM  
DCW
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Lightbulb

Someone asked me recently. I told her to only walk to the stop sign in her court and back. No further than that one time a day. She looked at me that's all! I told her starting is the hardest thing.

I am now in the mindset to workout on a zoom class after a friend has been asking for MONTHS!

When the student is ready the teacher appears.
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Old 11-28-20, 02:57 PM  
sherry7899
 
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seagreen, you went above and beyond! I would have been really mad after spending money on a specific gym!

My mom did the same. She said she wanted to do yoga. I bought her a yoga mat and yoga VHS (this was before dvds were popular). She claimed she would use them. I was putting something in the trunk of her car, and there was the yoga mat I had bought her, still wrapped in plastic! When I asked her why it was there, she said she didn't want "clutter in her house!" She had asked me to buy it for her! I never bought her another fitness item again, and later switched to getting her Amazon gift cards. Sigh....
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Old 11-30-20, 05:45 PM  
seagreen01
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Originally Posted by sherry7899 View Post
seagreen, you went above and beyond! I would have been really mad after spending money on a specific gym!

My mom did the same. She said she wanted to do yoga. I bought her a yoga mat and yoga VHS (this was before dvds were popular). She claimed she would use them. I was putting something in the trunk of her car, and there was the yoga mat I had bought her, still wrapped in plastic! When I asked her why it was there, she said she didn't want "clutter in her house!" She had asked me to buy it for her! I never bought her another fitness item again, and later switched to getting her Amazon gift cards. Sigh....
I know and we love them...my friend loves to stroll/walk and I haven’t appeared to have heard or I am vague to her complaints about her weight over the years, at least she is moving.
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