Article Link Open Letter to Everyone Who Has Told Women Don't Get Too Muscular

[mspina]

Originally Posted by Chomper

Thanks for bringing that up, Jane. I think it's the main point of the blog post, really. Did you guys watch the video posted in the piece with the little girl telling the woman behind the camera that she didn't want to be strong, she wanted to be skinny? That her husband would be strong. It broke my heart a little bit. Was she wearing a Disney princess tee shirt? I couldn't tell, but I wonder if that's one of the places young kids are getting these really rigid gender roles.

This would make me vomit to see/hear. Yikes.

Originally Posted by susan p

BUBBLES, you rock! LOVE that response. And I think it was totally appropriate except I wouldn't drop the F-bomb because I prefer words that are more feminine.

BWHAA HA HA HA HAAAA!! (sorry, couldn't resist.)

PRICELESS!!!!!!!

[Sue B]

Originally Posted by Paula N

Off-topic, the "you look so tired" is always a treat to hear from a co-worker. I slept fine, am well rested, and am feeling great, actually, but thanks for the confidence booster about my appearance!

I had a coworker who used to do that; very annoying. Or even worse, "Smile! Things aren't that bad!"

Love Bubbles' reply!

[athompson10]

Bubbles, you're great! I admire how quickly you thought on your feet - I'm one of those who thinks of the perfect reply hours after the incident happened.

[cataddict]

Originally Posted by Jane P.

My hairdresser says that to me all the time even when I haven't lost an ounce. I think she thinks it's complimentary, and I take it in the spirit in which it was intended.

Is this woman generally a nice person or is she snarky? She may think she's giving you a compliment. Maybe, if you know her well enough, you could take her aside and say you don't care for weight comments. If not, I'd just let it go.

I do just ignore her. she doesn't really think it's complimentary (or even true). She wants to be "liked" by everyone and thinks commenting on their looks is the way to do it, regardless of how obvious it is that she doesn't believe what she says. That's the difference between her and someone who says it in the spirit of your hairdresser.

[andtckrtoo]

I think this is an awesome article. As much as I would love to say otherwise, I think there is a lot of truth about keeping women subservient by diet, starvation, etc.

I was just having a conversation with a friend who talking about this topic. I think what drives me the craziest is when women say, "You look fabulous! What are you doing?"
"Oh, I added heavy lifting to my workout program, it's toned me right up."
Then the inevitable response, "Oh, I won't lift heavy because I don't want to bulk."
Um, you just told me I look fabulous... Do you even hear yourself?

The only thing I would disagree with is that I HAVE had people, mainly men I don't really know, tell me not to get too skinny. I had dropped 70 pounds, and one of the parking lot attendants where I worked told me that I was looking really good, but to be careful not to lose too much more. I had others say the same. Of course, no woman ever said that - but seriously why do men I really don't know feel they have the right to dictate who I should look?

[eyefit]

Originally Posted by Paula N

Off-topic, the "you look so tired" is always a treat to hear from a co-worker. I slept fine, am well rested, and am feeling great, actually, but thanks for the confidence booster about my appearance!

My MIL does this to me all the time.

Originally Posted by LynnO

Coworker needs a bubble spirit reply. Or simply ask her not to say that to you anymore. People are always freaked out, and sometimes I think more defensive, when you are polite and direct. But darn, sounds like a concern troll- pretending to be concerned when the real goal is to make someone feel bad. I'd start with, "really, I feel great, didn't know I looked like ****." A couple of those and that should do the trick.

Oh I am totally stealing that one for next time! LOL


Christine/andtckrtoo I have totally had the same conversations with women, especially all 3 of my sisters. They constantly compliment me on how I look these days since I got into working out seriously. When I tell them what I do they either say they don't want to do that themselves for fearing of "bulking up" or they express concern that I or they would hurt themselves. I try to explain it's a long process of building your strength slowly...it's not like I started out doing one armed rows with 25 lbs or squatting with a 30 lb weight vest on while holding dumbbells. I worked my way up slowly! They just look at what I'm doing shaking their heads while at the same time wishing they could get those same results...

The cognitive dissonance drives me absolutely insane.

Also, yes...the whole thing about female body autonomy not being respected by random strangers dictating how you should look by saying "don't lose too much weight now!..." is absolutely infuriating and obnoxious.

[northernlight]

Originally Posted by LynnO

But darn, sounds like a concern troll- pretending to be concerned when the real goal is to make someone feel bad..

I've never heard the term 'control troll' before. But I've had the experience. I'm ashamed to say that I have often replied in an equally passive-agressive way.
I wish I could manage a comeback à la Bubbles!