Article Link Open Letter to Everyone Who Has Told Women Don't Get Too Muscular

[CharM]

Just here to join the Bubbles love. That response was perfect.

[susan p]

Originally Posted by bubbles76

Her co-worker says, "Yes, well for me, I prefer a look that is more feminine." Without missing a beat I say,"Well, for me, I prefer a look that says don't f*** with me, because I'm probably stronger than you."

BUBBLES, you rock! LOVE that response. And I think it was totally appropriate except I wouldn't drop the F-bomb because I prefer words that are more feminine.

BWHAA HA HA HA HAAAA!! (sorry, couldn't resist.)

Originally Posted by Vintage VFer

I was slim and the vast majority of the women there were not. Like, I had no right to want to work out if I didn't need to lose weight.

VV, yeah, that's the one body comment I tend to get a lot from other women, the "why do you work out you are already skinny!" I just usually say "that's why I AM skinny!" and brush it off. Sometimes I invite them to join me.

Funny thing is, I don't perceive myself as "skinny" at all; I think I am a dang powerhouse.

[MomOf2Gremlins]

Originally Posted by Jeanne Marie

This just floors me. How rude and passive aggressive! I think your response was what she deserved. What is it with people who have to say something negative? The appropriate response in a situation like that would have been for her to say you look great, or compliment your muscles. She did not need to comment on femininity or how she likes to look. That falls under the heading of "if you don't have something nice to say, just don't say anything at all."

^ This!
ITA!!!

[laurajhawk]

Originally Posted by susan p

VV, yeah, that's the one body comment I tend to get a lot from other women, the "why do you work out you are already skinny!" I just usually say "that's why I AM skinny!" and brush it off.

Bubbles's awesome comeback has put me in the mindset of snappy-snarky replies and I think for the "you're already skinny" comment, I'd like to reply, "Yes, so my next goal is to be able to beat the snot out of people who get on my nerves!"

[Paula N]

Great reply Bubbles! You handled that situation very well. I'm impressed.

It bothers me when someone comments about how thin a person is. I've know people who have lost weight due to illness or personal difficulties in their life. They last thing they want to hear is about how great they look or to receive congratulations about their weight loss. If someone is proud of achieving a weight-loss goal, they'll probably "brag" about it a bit. Otherwise, I don't comment.

Off-topic, the "you look so tired" is always a treat to hear from a co-worker. I slept fine, am well rested, and am feeling great, actually, but thanks for the confidence booster about my appearance!

[cataddict]

Great response, bubbles!

I have a co-worker who is very obviously all about exterior appearance. She said to me several months ago "you look like you've lost weight" as if that was the single nicest thing she could ever say to a woman. I gave her a frozen "Miss Manners" look and said "I wouldn't know. I don't really pay a lot of attention to it." She backed off, and I'm not sure that she even realized it was offensive to me to comment on my body. I've heard her tell other women "oh, your pants look looser" in the same condescending way. I feel sorry for her. She is a smart woman and good at her job but can't get beyond how much people weigh or whether they are wearing the latest fashion.

I admit to my own body hang ups, but I wouldn't consider making that kind of comment to a stranger or co-worker who wasn't a close friend, and even then I wouldn't volunteer an opinion unless I was asked a specific question.

[Jane P.]

My hairdresser says that to me all the time even when I haven't lost an ounce. I think she thinks it's complimentary, and I take it in the spirit in which it was intended.

Is this woman generally a nice person or is she snarky? She may think she's giving you a compliment. Maybe, if you know her well enough, you could take her aside and say you don't care for weight comments. If not, I'd just let it go.

[LynnO]

Originally Posted by Paula N

Off-topic, the "you look so tired" is always a treat to hear from a co-worker. I slept fine, am well rested, and am feeling great, actually, but thanks for the confidence booster about my appearance!

Coworker needs a bubble spirit reply. Or simply ask her not to say that to you anymore. People are always freaked out, and sometimes I think more defensive, when you are polite and direct. But darn, sounds like a concern troll- pretending to be concerned when the real goal is to make someone feel bad. I'd start with, "really, I feel great, didn't know I looked like ****." A couple of those and that should do the trick.

[AsSweetAsSugar]

Chomper, thanks for sharing that awesome article!

Bubbles, When I grow up I want to be like you! haha I your reply! She really deserved it!!

Vintage Vfer, how silly and rude coment that woman made, everyone have the right to be in a "X" workout class, and we don't all to have the same reasons.

I remember when I purchased my first pair of dumbbells (some years back), my DP encouraged me to get 3lbs, because anything heavier than that would made me look like a man (I now buy my fitness stuff on my own).

And, still this year when I was previewing Squeeze Stronger, he was near me and said that the instructor looked too muscular, I asked him if he was kidding me, I told him I thought she looked very feminine, strong and beautiful, and that was very inspiring. I think what bothers me more is that he not even works out.

[AsSweetAsSugar]

Originally Posted by Paula N

It bothers me when someone comments about how thin a person is. I've know people who have lost weight due to illness or personal difficulties in their life. They last thing they want to hear is about how great they look or to receive congratulations about their weight loss. If someone is proud of achieving a weight-loss goal, they'll probably "brag" about it a bit. Otherwise, I don't comment.

Off-topic, the "you look so tired" is always a treat to hear from a co-worker. I slept fine, am well rested, and am feeling great, actually, but thanks for the confidence booster about my appearance!

I totally agree on this. When I had my DD, during the first 2 weeks, someone came home and the first thing she said... "OMG... YOU ARE VERY THIN... ARE YOU EATING??" (including that face) It still bothers me now, but what bothers me more is that I didn't reply her as she deserved (I was not feeling full of energy at that moment and DD was eating like there was no tomorrow!), but then I've been thin my whole life, I did wear all my jeans during my whole pregnancy, even if I was 35lbs heavier (all was in the huge belly), when she saw me I was just 5lbs less than "my usual nomal", just woke up and in my pregnancy pajamas (so no the best look either), but then either when I've looked my best she have not have anything to say (she just looks at me from head to toe), so why to say something so mean, spec. since I was worry because I was loosing the extra weight so quickly. I am the kind of person who think if I don't have anything good, nice or positive to say, I prefer to say nothing.

Btw, I loved your "Off-topic" comment!