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Old 08-21-14, 07:18 AM  
bubbles76
 
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I recently had some ladies comment on my muscles, one good, one not so good.

So I'm standing outside at work and take off my blazer because it's hot. Two ladies were outside (I don't work with them). One of them says, "Wow you have amazing arms! I bet you workout." I beam and say,"thank you," since I feel I have been getting stronger and am looking more defined, and my hard work is showing.

Her co-worker says, "Yes, well for me, I prefer a look that is more feminine." Without missing a beat I say,"Well, for me, I prefer a look that says don't f*** with me, because I'm probably stronger than you." She got beet red and tried to back pedal, all while the other woman was laughing her head off. If she had just said, "I don't like that much muscle on me" or "I prefer a leaner look" I may not have reacted so strongly. But I'm just as feminine, with or without defined arms.

Now, I probably didn't change the world in that moment or reacted in the most classy way, some might accuse me of being a bully, but sometimes people need to be put in their place. I'm not always that way; I am very susceptible to some criticism, particularly when I'm told I look too skinny (or hungry or whatever word of the day). So we all have our moments.
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Old 08-21-14, 07:28 AM  
Joni O
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Good article, although the author did not use the term 'skinny,' which I consider to be a negative term. She used 'thin.' I understand her preferring "Don't get too thin," since she inferred that hearing that when shw was younger may have kept her from starvation dieting.
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Old 08-21-14, 07:31 AM  
Jeanne Marie
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bubbles76 View Post
I recently had some ladies comment on my muscles, one good, one not so good.

So I'm standing outside at work and take off my blazer because it's hot. Two ladies were outside (I don't work with them). One of them says, "Wow you have amazing arms! I bet you workout." I beam and say,"thank you," since I feel I have been getting stronger and am looking more defined, and my hard work is showing.

Her co-worker says, "Yes, well for me, I prefer a look that is more feminine." Without missing a beat I say,"Well, for me, I prefer a look that says don't f*** with me, because I'm probably stronger than you." She got beet red and tried to back pedal, all while the other woman was laughing her head off. If she had just said, "I don't like that much muscle on me" or "I prefer a leaner look" I may not have reacted so strongly. But I'm just as feminine, with or without defined arms.

Now, I probably didn't change the world in that moment or reacted in the most classy way, some might accuse me of being a bully, but sometimes people need to be put in their place. I'm not always that way; I am very susceptible to some criticism, particularly when I'm told I look too skinny (or hungry or whatever word of the day). So we all have our moments.
This just floors me. How rude and passive aggressive! I think your response was what she deserved. What is it with people who have to say something negative? The appropriate response in a situation like that would have been for her to say you look great, or compliment your muscles. She did not need to comment on femininity or how she likes to look. That falls under the heading of "if you don't have something nice to say, just don't say anything at all."
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Old 08-21-14, 07:48 AM  
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Originally Posted by bubbles76 View Post
I recently had some ladies comment on my muscles, one good, one not so good.

So I'm standing outside at work and take off my blazer because it's hot. Two ladies were outside (I don't work with them). One of them says, "Wow you have amazing arms! I bet you workout." I beam and say,"thank you," since I feel I have been getting stronger and am looking more defined, and my hard work is showing.

Her co-worker says, "Yes, well for me, I prefer a look that is more feminine." Without missing a beat I say,"Well, for me, I prefer a look that says don't f*** with me, because I'm probably stronger than you." She got beet red and tried to back pedal, all while the other woman was laughing her head off. If she had just said, "I don't like that much muscle on me" or "I prefer a leaner look" I may not have reacted so strongly. But I'm just as feminine, with or without defined arms.

Now, I probably didn't change the world in that moment or reacted in the most classy way, some might accuse me of being a bully, but sometimes people need to be put in their place. I'm not always that way; I am very susceptible to some criticism, particularly when I'm told I look too skinny (or hungry or whatever word of the day). So we all have our moments.
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Old 08-21-14, 08:05 AM  
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Wonderful response, bubbles!!

IMO, saying such a thing in the way she did? Really thoughtless, and not especially passive-aggressive, more actually-aggressive.

She earned a direct reply, of some sort, and who's expected to keep their cool under every circumstance?
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Old 08-21-14, 08:22 AM  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bubbles76 View Post
I recently had some ladies comment on my muscles, one good, one not so good.

So I'm standing outside at work and take off my blazer because it's hot. Two ladies were outside (I don't work with them). One of them says, "Wow you have amazing arms! I bet you workout." I beam and say,"thank you," since I feel I have been getting stronger and am looking more defined, and my hard work is showing.

Her co-worker says, "Yes, well for me, I prefer a look that is more feminine." Without missing a beat I say,"Well, for me, I prefer a look that says don't f*** with me, because I'm probably stronger than you." She got beet red and tried to back pedal, all while the other woman was laughing her head off. If she had just said, "I don't like that much muscle on me" or "I prefer a leaner look" I may not have reacted so strongly. But I'm just as feminine, with or without defined arms.

Now, I probably didn't change the world in that moment or reacted in the most classy way, some might accuse me of being a bully, but sometimes people need to be put in their place. I'm not always that way; I am very susceptible to some criticism, particularly when I'm told I look too skinny (or hungry or whatever word of the day). So we all have our moments.
You totally rock. I LOVE this!!!!!!!!!
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Old 08-21-14, 08:35 AM  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bubbles76 View Post
I recently had some ladies comment on my muscles, one good, one not so good.

So I'm standing outside at work and take off my blazer because it's hot. Two ladies were outside (I don't work with them). One of them says, "Wow you have amazing arms! I bet you workout." I beam and say,"thank you," since I feel I have been getting stronger and am looking more defined, and my hard work is showing.

Her co-worker says, "Yes, well for me, I prefer a look that is more feminine." Without missing a beat I say,"Well, for me, I prefer a look that says don't f*** with me, because I'm probably stronger than you." She got beet red and tried to back pedal, all while the other woman was laughing her head off. If she had just said, "I don't like that much muscle on me" or "I prefer a leaner look" I may not have reacted so strongly. But I'm just as feminine, with or without defined arms.

Now, I probably didn't change the world in that moment or reacted in the most classy way, some might accuse me of being a bully, but sometimes people need to be put in their place. I'm not always that way; I am very susceptible to some criticism, particularly when I'm told I look too skinny (or hungry or whatever word of the day). So we all have our moments.
OMG Can't believe soooo many people do speak without thinking! But I agree... YOU ROCK!
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Old 08-21-14, 09:25 AM  
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That was a really awesome reply, Bubbles. That story made me happy.
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Old 08-21-14, 09:26 AM  
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I don't get public comments about my figure very often. I must have a boring figure!

I did have someone rile me up a few years ago when I attended a T-Tapp class. In a break during class, this woman came up to me and said. "You don't belong here." I said, "Huh?" She pointed to my body and repeated, "You don't belong here." The point being that I was slim and the vast majority of the women there were not. Like, I had no right to want to work out if I didn't need to lose weight. I took the high road and let it slide. I figured she had to be feeling really bad about herself to actually come up to another human being and say something so rude.
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Old 08-21-14, 09:46 AM  
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And ignorant, too - thinking the only reason to work out is to be slim.
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