Article Link Open Letter to Everyone Who Has Told Women Don't Get Too Muscular

[Chomper]

And talking about step aerobics with my SIL and a couple of her friends... One of the friends said she tried step aerobics but it was too hard to follow. Then she made fun of the instructor for being so fat that she needed to make the workout so fast and hard to follow. I was like

[Jeanne Marie]

I think we've had this conversation here before numerous times, and in numerous ways. I've expressed the same disbelief that people hear such things from their friends and loved ones, and have been met with the same shock that I never experienced these things.

I don't want this thread to turn into that conversation again. Let me just say that I am sorry that there are women who are judged for any of their physical traits and made to feel less-than for any reason. Of course I know that there are messages out there "in the media" about women's bodies and what we should or should not look like. I am aware of it. I just don't give it any power in my life at all. Maybe I can do this because of the people who have surrounded me my entire life.... my mom, my dad, my sister, my husband, my son, my friends. I was never judged for any physical attribute. It just wasn't a conversation we had.

[KateTT]

Originally Posted by Jeanne Marie

I'm curious who says these things to women? Those of you with people in your lives that make such comments, who are they? I can't imagine anybody saying that to me. Everybody I know, both friends and family, are supportive, encouraging and proud of my fitness efforts.

Maybe nobody says "don't get too muscular" to me because it's pretty obvious that due to genetics, that just isn't going to happen in my case.

I think Chomper's reference to "Miss Manners" is spot on. People need to mind their own business and their manners.

My own husband has made the comment about me not getting too muscular. My reply was that he'll appreciate my muscles when we're out cutting and hauling firewood for our winter heat!

My dad, on the other hand, says very positive things about my muscles and nicknamed me "The Bullet" when I was a little kid (meaning small but powerful).

[cherimac]

Originally Posted by Jeanne Marie

I think we've had this conversation here before numerous times, and in numerous ways. I've expressed the same disbelief that people hear such things from their friends and loved ones, and have been met with the same shock that I never experienced these things.

I don't want this thread to turn into that conversation again. Let me just say that I am sorry that there are women who are judged for any of their physical traits and made to feel less-than for any reason. Of course I know that there are messages out there "in the media" about women's bodies and what we should or should not look like. I am aware of it. I just don't give it any power in my life at all. Maybe I can do this because of the people who have surrounded me my entire life.... my mom, my dad, my sister, my husband, my son, my friends. I was never judged for any physical attribute. It just wasn't a conversation we had.

Me too, Jeanne. And I am short and a meso, built like a gymnast, but no one ever said I was too thin, too muscular, too overweight, etc. If I've picked up any of that it's been from simply living in a culture obsessed with appearance,

[FirmDancer]

I thought the article was great. Sometimes I get caught up in deciding what's the best workout to do that day instead of focusing on strength for functional living (I've even read it called "functional survival") is what it's all about.

[susan p]

Women need to be mentally strong as well as physically strong. Part of me is flabbergasted that someone would let a random comment upset them for days as the author of the article describes.

On the other hand, sometimes random crap does get under your skin.

Some people may not like muscular women; others really admire them. It's all in whose opinion you pay attention to. The number of people whose opinion matters to you should be small and very wisely selected. Otherwise, let it go.

[LynnO]

I for one wish we would just stop commenting on looks 24/7. Here and everywhere else, positive or negative. I don't think I've EVER seen a thread on a workout led by a woman, where her looks aren't commented on. Usually positively, but a judgment all the same. This does not include comments like, she looks like she's having fun, happy etc.

And sometimes when people are going on and on about how beautiful instructor x is- I'm like - she's attractive, but really? And then, I am part of the problem.

[edensmom]

Originally Posted by KateTT

My own husband has made the comment about me not getting too muscular. My reply was that he'll appreciate my muscles when we're out cutting and hauling firewood for our winter heat!

My dad, on the other hand, says very positive things about my muscles and nicknamed me "The Bullet" when I was a little kid (meaning small but powerful).

I LOVE this nickname!!!

[BunnyHop]

Originally Posted by Jeanne Marie

... I am aware of it. I just don't give it any power in my life at all. Maybe I can do this because of the people who have surrounded me my entire life.... my mom, my dad, my sister, my husband, my son, my friends. I was never judged for any physical attribute. It just wasn't a conversation we had.

The most important people in your life, luckily, have been supportive, and, I would guess, respectful.

Not all of us have been so lucky.

In my experience, the people who make hurtful remarks have major boundary issues, issues with their own bodies, their own self-perception, etc., and the remarks they make seem to reflect their own issues far more than mine.

Unfortunately, once the words leave their mouths, somehow 'their stuff' becomes part of 'our' conversation. Whether or not it happens in a positive/helpful way, or a negative/bitchy one, it becomes something I have to cope with. The fact that it tends to happen most often when I'm feeling vulnerable doesn't reflect well on their sense of appropriate timing, either.

[Sue B]

Originally Posted by FirmDancer

I thought the article was great. Sometimes I get caught up in deciding what's the best workout to do that day instead of focusing on strength for functional living (I've even read it called "functional survival") is what it's all about.

Great article and I agree!