Need to vent. Tired of defending myself to DH - Page 7

alikruegs · 07-12-10, 08:19 AM

I had a boyfriend who made fun of me for going to the gym. He thought it was an "American obsession" (he was Argentinian). I told him I liked it and what did he care, I was staying trim and fit. He responded that I should not eat instead

. Anyway, I just ASSUMED he had some physical capacities because we were young and he's a guy, but when we went one day to climb a small but steep mountain, we had to take so many water breaks I thought I was going nuts. His needing to stop so much was making me a perpetual target for mosquitos. So, I told him I'd just meet him at the top. After a 1 hour steep climb (we'd been going about a hour before), I had to wait for him for a FULL HOUR at the top. He never brought up fitness again. I also broke up with him soon after because his lack of fitness combined with his lack of tack and good values made him a very unattractive guy to me.

sophie kat · 07-12-10, 08:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alikruegs

I had a boyfriend who made fun of me for going to the gym. He thought it was an "American obsession" (he was Argentinian). I told him I liked it and what did he care, I was staying trim and fit. He responded that I should not eat instead

.

Yeah, ok, just don't eat. That's perfectly healthy... What a jerk!

Quote:

Originally Posted by alikruegs

Anyway, I just ASSUMED he had some physical capacities because we were young and he's a guy, but when we went one day to climb a small but steep mountain, we had to take so many water breaks I thought I was going nuts. His needing to stop so much was making me a perpetual target for mosquitos. So, I told him I'd just meet him at the top.

I'm sure the walk became more enjoyable at this point.

Quote:

Originally Posted by alikruegs

After a 1 hour steep climb (we'd been going about a hour before), I had to wait for him for a FULL HOUR at the top. He never brought up fitness again. I also broke up with him soon after because his lack of fitness combined with his lack of tack and good values made him a very unattractive guy to me.

A full hour? that's crazy! Good for you, and haha to him--on both counts!

bubbles76 · 07-12-10, 08:42 AM

Wow, I'm sorry to all the gals that have had to put up with the put downs

Makes me feel lucky. Here I am, feeling way out of shape, on top of having the post preggy belly (that looked like one of you gals cats could have scratched up), and he still gives me compliments every day

Now, if only he would clean up more....or, um, at all really would be an improvement

ukjocilyn · 07-12-10, 08:52 AM

I actually had a boyfriend once that was completely obsessed over his own body and looks. He even cut his own hair because he said that nobody could do it right. He was constantly looking at his stomach in the mirror and saying his face looked fat in pictures, it seriously made me nuts. After many months of having to reassure him and build up his confidence, he started on my looks and my body. So happy that ended, it was exhausting.

Fidget Queen · 07-12-10, 09:37 AM

I most certainly have my own issues in this department. I had a very abusive/controlling BF who picked apart every aspect of my physical (and mental/emotional/intellectual) self, and I didn't think there was anything wrong with me then. About a year after I FINALLY left him, my face started breaking out and scarring badly. I ran into him somewhere, and the first words out of his mouth were, "Oh my god, what happened to your face??!" Of course, he was stalking me, and there were other issues, so I slapped him with a restraining order shortly after. To this day, however, that is the only thing I hear, and it has taken its toll on me in an extreme way. Considering that my face has only become worse and worse since then, I can't help but imagine that comment coming out of the mouth of every person who sees me. There is just no excuse for that kind of behavior, but I guess breaking us down is what these people have in mind. For some reason, because he was mean, I have this sick, twisted view that he was the only person being honest with me.

Anyway, just a couple of weeks ago, my dad found out that his top teeth are in dire condition. My mom was trying to convince him to save his teeth by having them worked on for the next few years (which she has done herself). He chose instead to have them pulled and have dentures put in. In classic dad form, his only comment to her about it was, "If you don't like me this way, you know what to do it about." That, to me, is the attitude we all need to take. It was only a funny comment, but it had a pretty profound affect on me, considering what I've been going through. I'm still upset, but, really, if a person can't accept us as we are, what in the freaking he$$ are we doing with them??????

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07-12-10, 08:19 AM
alikruegs VF Supporter Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Chicago	I had a boyfriend who made fun of me for going to the gym. He thought it was an "American obsession" (he was Argentinian). I told him I liked it and what did he care, I was staying trim and fit. He responded that I should not eat instead . Anyway, I just ASSUMED he had some physical capacities because we were young and he's a guy, but when we went one day to climb a small but steep mountain, we had to take so many water breaks I thought I was going nuts. His needing to stop so much was making me a perpetual target for mosquitos. So, I told him I'd just meet him at the top. After a 1 hour steep climb (we'd been going about a hour before), I had to wait for him for a FULL HOUR at the top. He never brought up fitness again. I also broke up with him soon after because his lack of fitness combined with his lack of tack and good values made him a very unattractive guy to me. __________________ Method is much, technique is much, but inspiration is even more. ~ Cardozo

07-12-10, 08:42 AM
bubbles76 Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: New Jersey	Wow, I'm sorry to all the gals that have had to put up with the put downs Makes me feel lucky. Here I am, feeling way out of shape, on top of having the post preggy belly (that looked like one of you gals cats could have scratched up), and he still gives me compliments every day Now, if only he would clean up more....or, um, at all really would be an improvement __________________ "You humans have the potential to be the most wonderful beings there are - if you can get past all these enormous stupid spots you seem to have in your hearts. It's not your fault. You just don't know how to work your hearts right yet. That's why there are dogs." - Jim Butcher, Zoo Day

07-12-10, 08:52 AM
ukjocilyn Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Tampa, FL	I actually had a boyfriend once that was completely obsessed over his own body and looks. He even cut his own hair because he said that nobody could do it right. He was constantly looking at his stomach in the mirror and saying his face looked fat in pictures, it seriously made me nuts. After many months of having to reassure him and build up his confidence, he started on my looks and my body. So happy that ended, it was exhausting.

07-12-10, 09:37 AM
Fidget Queen Join Date: Jun 2004	I most certainly have my own issues in this department. I had a very abusive/controlling BF who picked apart every aspect of my physical (and mental/emotional/intellectual) self, and I didn't think there was anything wrong with me then. About a year after I FINALLY left him, my face started breaking out and scarring badly. I ran into him somewhere, and the first words out of his mouth were, "Oh my god, what happened to your face??!" Of course, he was stalking me, and there were other issues, so I slapped him with a restraining order shortly after. To this day, however, that is the only thing I hear, and it has taken its toll on me in an extreme way. Considering that my face has only become worse and worse since then, I can't help but imagine that comment coming out of the mouth of every person who sees me. There is just no excuse for that kind of behavior, but I guess breaking us down is what these people have in mind. For some reason, because he was mean, I have this sick, twisted view that he was the only person being honest with me. Anyway, just a couple of weeks ago, my dad found out that his top teeth are in dire condition. My mom was trying to convince him to save his teeth by having them worked on for the next few years (which she has done herself). He chose instead to have them pulled and have dentures put in. In classic dad form, his only comment to her about it was, "If you don't like me this way, you know what to do it about." That, to me, is the attitude we all need to take. It was only a funny comment, but it had a pretty profound affect on me, considering what I've been going through. I'm still upset, but, really, if a person can't accept us as we are, what in the freaking he$$ are we doing with them??????