Brief rant about offering SASE

[monterey vidiot]

I know people can have a memory lapse about their promise to send an SASE. I did that, myself, recently. But when I got a pm from the generous VFer, I replied right away, and mailed my SASE the next day.

But to wait over a week, then send a pm saying I never received the SASE, and to get no reply when the person has been online?

Or (this was the "best"): oh I forgot, I'll get around to it; 2d reminder led to this reply: I've decided that if I want it, I'll just buy it new.

Is this why some people don't offer SASEs? Because the recipients act like they're grudgingly doing you a favor?


Cynthia

[SharonH]

Originally Posted by monterey vidiot

Is this why some people don't offer SASEs? Because the recipients act like they're grudgingly doing you a favor?


Cynthia

I've stopped doing SASE's. If anything, I just send the item to the person for free. I had one person who said they would put the stamps (I offered to take care of the packaging) in the mail a day later. Over two weeks went by and no stamps, no PM mentioning a delay, nothing. I sold the video to half-price books for one quarter. Yes, one quarter, just to clear some space in my house. Then, about two days later, it arrived. I just marked it "return to sender." This is why I don't do SASE's anymore.

I do hope though I didn't hurt anyone's feelings when I turned down two very nice SASE offers recently (they emailed me when they saw my wish list). I just didn't have the stamps/supplies for a full SASE and wasn't even sure what postage would have been correct on one envelope since it was an undersized item and might not have been considered the right thickness for package rates. However, I did appreciate the kindness.

[bearcatfan]

I'm more reluctant to offer SASEs for that very reason.

Most people are very good about getting a SASE out - I think sending it out in a week's time is more than reasonable. Things happen, and if people change their minds or just aren't going to get to it, just let the sender know. But I've had times when it just doesn't show up, or shows up weeks later just as I'm getting ready to pitch it.

Sometimes I've gone through the exchange listings and if someone wants it, I offer it as a private SASE. That's kind of fun, fulfilling a wish.

I don't want to get too crabby about it, but it's irksome to hold onto this stuff for too long.

[weighttrain]

Originally Posted by bearcatfan

Sometimes I've gone through the exchange listings and if someone wants it, I offer it as a private SASE. That's kind of fun, fulfilling a wish.
.

I also gift dvd's and vids to fellow VF'ers that have a listing on the Exchange.

Beth

[Pat58]

I have been the recipient of gifts here at VF and am so appreciative - and always get an SASE out ASAP if that was part of the deal.

[susan p]

That's why I prefer to just gift people. To me, it costs less to pay for the postage than the aggravation of dealing with an SASE situation.

But I know there are folks who would love to just gift people but really can't afford it, either because things are particularly tight, or because they have so many vids to get rid of that the volume becomes quite expensive. So it's not an answer for everybody.

If I say I'm going to send someone an SASE, I have to get right up from the computer and SEND IT right then, because I can tend to lose track of the less important details of life sometimes and delay too long. Life just spins past me and all of a sudden it's been a week or two and I'm appalled at myself.

I think I'm a little ADHD. So my advice is, if you say you're going to send an SASE, as Nike would say, "just do it." Do it now, get it done, put it out of your mind!

[toaster]

Cynthia, it's not just you! I still offer SASEs from time to time; when I do, I usually make a request such as "please PM me again to confirm when you have mailed the SASE." Guess this makes me look a little OCD, but I hate waiting forever...and I feel bad in situations where I've offered something up and have had several people respond, only to have the first responder fail to send the SASE in a timely fashion. But asking them to confirm once they've sent it out has seemed to help.

[Gilda]

Thanks for starting this discussion. I thought about starting one like this but just couldn't figure out how to handle it.

It would help if the receiver would send the SASE right away, paying attention to whatever the gift-giver is asking for. For example, I ask that the TO and FROM be addressed to the receiver so if the DVD is "returned" for any reason, it will be returned to them.

Still smiling and still enjoying the sharing we do here at VF!
Gilda

[Gilda]

Originally Posted by bearcatfan

Sometimes I've gone through the exchange listings and if someone wants it, I offer it as a private SASE. That's kind of fun, fulfilling a wish.

Thank you! This is one of the best ideas I've heard in a long time!

[Kyra]

I prefer to gift people as well, but I don't always have packing materials on hand, so I'll sometimes offer things SASE.

I agree that good communication makes for a good transaction, in any case.