OT: Childless by Choice quotes

[spotted zebra]

This thread reminds me of a tongue-in-cheek song by Judy Small, an Australian folk singer/song writer and former lawyer. Even though she sings about her family's disappointment at her singledom status, the song is as much about being child-free in the face of family politics as anything else. It was called Family Maiden Aunt.

[workoutqueen]

Originally Posted by spotted zebra

Going back to the original intent of this thread, I just wanted to thank the OP for starting this thread. I have no quotes at this time as I live thousands of miles from most of my relatives and have purposely forgotten the many strange comments they used to make regularly when I lived closer and saw them more often. I think over time too, they've come to reluctantly accept my decision to remain child-free in this life somewhat. Or at least have become a little less vocal about their strong opinions because they know I shrug them off anyway. With so many threads and posts about motherhood on this forum, it's nice to read something from and about people who are child-free by choice instead for a change! Society caters far more to people who have children, and parents reap many benefits as a result while child-free people are left out in the cold in various ways. But that's another topic. In spite of the societal/cultural bias, I'm very happy with my choice.

+1, Spotted Zebra, I could have written the same thing! It's so nice to know that there are "others" out there! I really enjoyed reading this thread!

Katrina

[mtngoat]

Originally Posted by spotted zebra

Going back to the original intent of this thread, I just wanted to thank the OP for starting this thread. I have no quotes at this time as I live thousands of miles from most of my relatives and have purposely forgotten the many strange comments they used to make regularly when I lived closer and saw them more often. I think over time too, they've come to reluctantly accept my decision to remain child-free in this life somewhat. Or at least have become a little less vocal about their strong opinions because they know I shrug them off anyway. With so many threads and posts about motherhood on this forum, it's nice to read something from and about people who are child-free by choice instead for a change! Society caters far more to people who have children, and parents reap many benefits as a result while child-free people are left out in the cold in various ways. But that's another topic. In spite of the societal/cultural bias, I'm very happy with my choice.

ITA!

I am sorry I can't contribute to the OP's request for memorable quotes - I'm sure I got some comments, but I never inhaled any of them!

[Jacqi A]

Originally Posted by susan p

Actually, Jackie, rabbits are reflex ovulators. That's what makes them some of the most efficient mammalian reproducers. So NO, they are not ever "in heat."

Therefore your crabby SIL is not only crabby, she is wrong.

So Jackie's SIL should have been called her a "reflex ovulator"?

[videofit]

I haven't noticed that people are stigmatized for not wanting kids. I think most people don't care one way or the other, similar to them not caring if you are married or single. It's the 21st Century!

[spotted zebra]

Among the numerous online articles and blogs on this topic, here are a few links which raise some interesting issues:

http://www.slate.com/articles/double...ter_socialflow

and

The Childfree's Stereotyped & Stigmatized Cousin: Singlism
http://www.blogher.com/childfrees-st...ousin-singlism

"Singles can have children e.g., be divorced, widowed, or just never been married. What do the childfree have in common? We are stereotyped and stigmatized because we don't fit into the "normal" progression in life - get out of school, get a job, get married, and have children. We are judged inaccurately and negatively as a result of not following "the program" we're all supposed to follow. We also share unfair treatment in various realms of life, including inequitable tax burdens, [inequitable] social security benefits, and real-world wage disparities...."

[lfcjasp]

I have two daughters and I always wanted children...but, I can see why being child-free is a good choice, too. When young people tell me they've decided to not have children I tell them that it is their decision...and that I'm glad they have made that decision. If you don't want to have and raise children (which is the ultimate for some folks, but not for all), please for God's sake don't have them to please your friends/family. Don't make yourself miserable or that poor baby. Child-free couples and individuals have very interesting and fulfilling lives (at least the ones I know) and they almost invariable add a lot to their friends' children's lives. My girls have benefited greatly from "uncles" and "aunts" through the years.

So I say "Thank you" to those who pass up having their own kids to give me a loving hand with mine...seriously...you sacrificed your time to have been a blessing and sometimes a life-saver for us.

[susan p]

Whenever I'm talking to my girls about their future lives I always use the phrases "if you choose to get married" and "if you choose to have children" because various childfree threads over the years have made me more aware of the assumptions we make about people's lives.

My oldest is married and there are some "rules" I have for myself as the mother of an adult and as a mother in law and one of those is to not ever suggest or mention at all that it's time to have kids, that I want them to have kids, or anything of the sort.

Their lives. Not mine. And I support them and love them no matter what. They don't owe me grandchildren.

[FitBoop]

Originally Posted by videofit

I haven't noticed that people are stigmatized for not wanting kids. I think most people don't care one way or the other, similar to them not caring if you are married or single. It's the 21st Century!

I noticed that I was treated differently before I was married, compared to afterwards. Professionally and socially, I believe that married people are viewed different from single people (with married people being viewed as more stable). As far as people caring whether or not someone has children, I think that family members with children often view other family members without children differently from those with children (and not in a good way). Holidays can be especially awkward. Professionally and socially, I think that women with children are viewed differently from women without children.

[cristinalatina]

When I was interviewed for a position once, I was asked whether I had plans to have children. I think child free women are preferred in the workplace, and yes frequently they do bear a larger burden compared to mothers.