Off-Topic My Neighbor Insulted Me

[prettyinpink]

Originally Posted by Demeris

My mother, who died over 40 years ago, once came back from running errands, laughing. She had run into somebody she hadn't seen for a long time, and he had said to her, " you used to be a good-looking woman. " and she had responded , "and you used to be a lot taller and a lot smarter. "

Love it! I wish I was that quick on my feet!

[Taiga]

Originally Posted by ddj

Your feelings are valid, whether your husband or this man understands that....... I'm assuming it's because he's a man. In my experience, most men are clueless. They really don't think there's anything wrong with these kinds of comments.

...Bubbles is right; you've made great progress and should be proud of that. I'm proud of you, and I don't even know you. Keep it up!

This. I remember DH and FIL once having a conversation that included critique of each other's gut/girth ---it was absolutely appalling They were completely natural in their conversation and it never occurred to either to have hurt feelings. As far as they were concerned, they were stating facts and there was no emotional baggage attached to it. That being said, most successful husbands know the safe answer when women ask for body assessment.The answer often doesn't come naturally but self-preservation does Lol Your neighbor sounds like he flunked basic training but he may just be a flunkie and not malevolent. Keep working on those arms so that you can address him with a convincing wedgie should he offer any more of his "honesty" in the future

[TracyQ]

You guys are are the best. I’ve read everyone of your replies and truly appreciate them all.

I know my arms don’t look good and I’m very self conscious about them but when I’m out at 6:30 am on an empty beach minding my business, I just want to be myself and be comfortable (even in a tank top if that’s what I choose) without being insulted (I’m pretty sure he was looking at my arms when he said it).

The funny thing about this neighbor is my dog never liked him. When we got her three years ago she actually came between me and him once (he’s the type that comes too close when he’s talking to you). I swear if I didn’t pull her back she would have bit him. He can’t stand that she doesn’t like him either because supposedly all dogs love him but he can’t win her over even with treats. The dog senses something about him I suppose.

[Taiga]

Originally Posted by TracyQ

.......The funny thing about this neighbor is my dog never liked him. When we got her three years ago she actually came between me and him once (he’s the type that comes too close when he’s talking to you). I swear if I didn’t pull her back she would have bit him. He can’t stand that she doesn’t like him either because supposedly all dogs love him but he can’t win her over even with treats. The dog senses something about him I suppose.

That actually raises more of a flag for me. I don't like it when men stand inappropriately close. If he is having trouble with both mental and physical boundaries and your friendly dog doesn't like him, you have even more reason to train those arms and avoid him.

[kittybug]

Originally Posted by TracyQ

The funny thing about this neighbor is my dog never liked him. When we got her three years ago she actually came between me and him once (he’s the type that comes too close when he’s talking to you). I swear if I didn’t pull her back she would have bit him. He can’t stand that she doesn’t like him either because supposedly all dogs love him but he can’t win her over even with treats. The dog senses something about him I suppose.

I'd pay serious attention to this!! She is on to something. I have a cat that many years ago did NOT like any man I was attempting to date at the time. I was sort of reluctantly going on yet another date and when he came to pick me up, I warned him that my cat didn't like anybody and to not to be offended by his behavior. I was super shocked when said cat went straight up to this man and proceeded to start drooling and purring while he petted him.

Some years later, I married that man. The cat was right. They always know!!

[DCW]

Not everyone deserves and is worthy of space in your life.

[Gams]

Not everyone deserves the oxygen they are using.

[jusca]

Originally Posted by fanofladyvols

Wellll
You could offer him toilet paper to wipe the crap coming out of his mouth...

LOL! That's a good one. I have to borrow it sometime.

[Tugger31]

My first thought was I would've smacked him with my paddle!!

Dogs are smart animals was my second thought. Smarter than most men, obviously.


Good for you for getting back out there! I had spinal surgery in October and gained almost 10 lbs and lost alot of my upper body strength and tone as well. I'm still slowly regaining my strength and it's been 9 months. If someone would have said that to me at any point in my life I would have cried, but especially after surgery when I was already well aware of what I looked like. He doesn't deserve the time of day and I wouldn't worry about how that might affect your relationship with this couple. Maybe his wife doesn't like him either!

Keep working at it, the strength will come back!

[amoodygirl]

I'm so sorry that fool made such offensive and disgusting comments. Bet he wouldn't have said that to a man!

With that said, a little story. When we moved back from San Diego, with the move, job search, house search, my fitness went temporarily down the tubes. I put on some weight, I wasn't muscular as I usually was, etc. The family had an 85th birthday party for my father-in-law. One of the guests, longtime friends of my in-laws, came over to me and said, "Oh my god - what happened to sexy Diane? You got fat!" I was so offended, so humiliated - I cried and went home.

Fast forward 2 months - the same family friend was running like a madwoman for a train on Long Island and was hit by the train - killed instantly. I'm ashamed to say I still don't feel sad about it. But that's my issue. When my mother-in-law and I were talking about the whole thing, I said to her, jokingly, "See - this is what happens when you insult someone unjustly. Karma gets you. Just remember that."