Off-Topic Tipping hair stylist question

[Helen]

It's not that old a custom - found this article about it.

Changing customs one doesn't find agreeable starts by not following them.

I go the hairdresser 2x/year because DH makes the booking, at a place that is WAY too expensive !!! given the prices I've seen quoted in this thread.

Wendy2 - yeah, the small talk. I play a game to avoid that - find out as much about the life of the hairdresser as possible, and give away as little of my own. Making a game of it is more entertaining for me, and hones my social skills at the same time.

[mtnmom]

I'd like to know when tips for waiters/waitresses became 20%! It was 15% for years and years. You'd give 20% only if you needed special attention. Like if you arrived with toddlers who you knew would leave a mess. I remember my XH, who was never good with math, carried a small card with him that had 15% calculations so he'd know how much to leave.

Now, it seems the "standard" is 20% -- why?

ETA - Maybe it's because 20% is easier to calculate, if you are like my XH.

[firmaholic]

I tip the 15% at the restaurants, period. 20% tip is only for outstanding service.

[Nuggie's Auntie]

Originally Posted by Helen

It's not that old a custom - found this article about it.

Well, considering the US is only 240 years old, the fact that tipping has been common practice for the better part of 100 years makes it pretty old!

The problem with doing away with it in sit-down restaurants is that it really is a significant portion of their compensation. It's not like Starbucks employees, who are payed a pretty decent hourly wage and then apparently feel entitled to attach a 20% tip. Waiters are only paid $2.50 an hour (or something like that) and are expected to make up for the shortfall in tips. That's why it's such a dicey issue.

I agree that the 20% standard is new. I'm not sure how that evolved.

I'm more bothered by professions that haven't customarily involved tipping now seem to want a tip. It seems like everyone's trying to get in on the action.

[yogapam]

Originally Posted by Helen

Every time I see one of these tipping dilemma threads I'm reminded to be grateful that our culture doesn't do tipping. The bill is the bill. Paid and done. Good service doesn't get a higher tip, it gets return custom and word of mouth recommendations.

I appreciate that about Australia and Europe.

[Nuggie's Auntie]

When I was a freshman in college, a bunch of us went to a sit-down restaurant for lunch in downtown Boston. There were maybe 7 or 8 of us, and we were all around 18 years old, so pretty young. We all had limited experience paying out own way at restaurants, having just left home for the first time.

We all ordered whatever and when the bill came, we tossed what we thought we owed including tip into a pile. Someone totaled it up to make sure there was enough and then we got up to leave. As we were exiting the restaurant, our waiter came up to us, and in a very angry tone, asked if there was something lacking in his service. We all looked surprised and said, no, it was fine. He said, very angrily, 'You only left a 10% tip. When I get that little, I assume you must have been dissatisfied.' We were all kind of shocked, embarrassed, didn't quite know what to do or say, and he angrily stomped off.

The whole situation was so awkward. He definitely made his point that we had 'stiffed' him. I don't blame him for questioning us, as I learned that anything less than 15% in the service world is code for 'you did a bad job,' but his anger was really off-putting. I'm sure he had many experiences over his tenure as a waiter that were very frustrating, but it was like he just wanted to shame us. I don't know, this experience is largely why I wish waiters were just paid better and the tip burden on diners reduced. They wouldn't be as vulnerable to inexperienced teenage diners, and clueless kids wouldn't be subjected to the humiliating wrath of a disgruntled waiter!

[wishiwasinhawaii]

Originally Posted by Nuggie's Auntie

I'm more bothered by professions that haven't customarily involved tipping now seem to want a tip. It seems like everyone's trying to get in on the action.

This. It's getting to the point where it's impossible to go anywhere without seeing a tip jar or someone expecting a tip. After reading this thread I've decided the only tipping I'm going to be doing is waiters/waitresses and my hairdresser because he does a really good job and I'd look like Buster Brown if it weren't for him.

[dmlarue1]

I tip 20% for waitresses and for haircuts.

I don't like when tip jars are out at places that people make a wage at. Waitresses make very low wages because they are expected they will get tips.
Hairdressers pay rent at salons so their tips help them.

If all you are doing is ringing up my sale and handing me my food, that is really a cashier job and sorry I dont think there should be tips for that. A waitress/waitor has to bring out anywhere from 2-3 courses and keep coming back and checking on you, while waiting on multiple other people...they deserve a tip!!

I worked for Walgreens (before I went back to school to be a PT). People would try to give us tips for bringing things out to their cars or extra things like that. We weren't allowed to accept tips, but it was a nice gesture.

[starbelly]

In the Netherlands, tipping is much less common, but it isn't absent from life. 5-10% on a restaurant bill is normal for good service, but people often just leave a euro or two per person after a few beers on the terrace. I don't think it would be seen as terribly insulting if you didn't leave a tip. I saw tip jars next to the counter at a coffee place at the airport in Spain, but that felt like an anomaly. My hairdresser is Australian and does not expect tips and DH does not tip his hairdresser unless it's to round up (20 euros for a 19 euro cut, for example). Tipping massage therapists is not expected

Something I have not seen in the US are paid toilets. They are everywhere in Europe and the price has been steadily increasing. Last year at a rest stop in Germany I paid 1 euro to use the loo! You get a 50 cent voucher, but that means you have to buy something. In Germany the public facilities are almost always immaculate, but I have paid to use bathrooms that were unsanitary. Unfortunately, you don't find that out until after you've paid. When we did a road trip in the US a few years ago it almost felt luxurious to be able to find free public facilities.

[Eibhinn]

Originally Posted by Nuggie's Auntie

This is totally off-topic, but just this week I learned of this 'custom' of 'covering your plate' at a wedding. I had NEVER heard of this, and I find it utterly appalling. Apparently in certain regions of North America, guests are supposed to give the bride and groom (in the form of a monetary 'gift') at least enough to cover the expense of their food at the wedding. Some of the people telling me about this were under the mistaken impression that this was proper etiquette--which it is NOT. If you are a guest, you should not have to pay for your dinner! Good grief! This practice has apparently led to a huge sense of entitlement with certain brides and grooms upbraiding guests after the wedding for not having given enough to cover their costs of having attended the wedding.

I think this is a fairly new expectation that comes out of the fairly recent tendency to have over-the-top lavish weddings that you can't actually afford, and going in debt for "dream weddings." I can't help but wonder if it might have arisen from the wedding industry itself, with caterers and wedding planners encouraging couples to splash out and spend more money on the wedding because "the guests will cover their cost with the gift." But I don't think there was any expectation of the cost of a gift a generation ago and it's an unreasonable expectation for guests to accurately guess/predict the cost of the wedding.