Very OT: My Dad won't wear his hearing aids!

[dnna]

There is a new type of hearing aid-Lyric- which are inbedded into the ear by a doctor. They are taken out periodically with magnets and then reinserted. If I win the lottery today- wish me luck - that is the first thing I will do with my winnings' have my son try those.
They really seem to cancel out all that extra noise although the new high tech ones are quite good ( according to my son) man, the old ones -1985 - those were very poor instruments.

[violingal3]

Same thing with my dad - he refuses to wear them or just wears one on occasion. So frustrating...

[dnna]

It is important to remember that wearing hearing aids will not transform your dad into a hearing person. He will never "hear" the way a person without a loss hears. It is always difficult and he will always miss words, sound even phrases. He will have to be looking at you to get the best amount of hearing. lip reading helps. kind of knowing what you are going to say helps. a good book is "Missing Words" I hope it is still in print but I will lend mine to you. It is the detailed account of an adult who lost her hearing in middle age.

[Vintage VFer]

I've known a few folks who refuse to wear one or both hearing aids. One guy couldn't get the volume right and everyone else in the room could hear a high pitched whine coming from them because he had them turned all the way up.

Refusing to wear hearing aids isolates folks from life and reduces much needed interactions.

Not to make light of your (or anyone else's situation), one older gentleman we know refuses to wear his hearing aids because, and I quote, "They just make the B.S. louder."

[Indy]

I have worn hearing aids most of my adult life. They are not easy and as stated here does not transform somebody into a hearing person. I wear mine all day everyday and really can't live without them. Right now, I need a new pair. I just wish they weren't so expensive. Insurance doesn't cover this which just seems ridiculous. I can't function as a normal person without them.

My husband read a paragraph about hearing loss and all that it does to the person with the loss and the other people around them. It is frustrating - I find myself isolated in group settings where there is so much noise and I can't make out what the person I am talking to is saying. The hearing aids can't focus in on that. Sometimes I can hear the people across the room better than the person right in front of me. I miss so much. It is very frustrating for my husband as he has to repeat himself so many times for me to get what he is saying that he gets angry and yells which isn't good for either of us.

I told him that we have to patient with each other and keep these things in mind when dealing with each other. Be kind to your father about it.

[jusca]

This is an eye opening thread about hearing aids which I knew little of.

I'm wondering if scaring him into wearing them may work. This will definitely depend on the person's personality though. I would ask in a hypothetical situation, what would he do if an emergency fire or other alarm went off and he didn't know it because he won't wear the aids. Surely his safety is worth a lot and the aids would be highly helpful in situations like that.

[DawnP]

I know it's frustrating to see a loved one resisting an assistive device that could be so helpful, but what you are describing is a true culture shift.

I began wearing hearing aids at age 40. I have had hearing loss since birth but it was becoming more noticeable. I work in a loud hospital department and it was difficult to distinguish voices over phones, fax machines, alarm bells, scraping chairs, etc.

But the turning point was missing female voices all the time, especially when I was in the car. DH would translate for me what DD said from the back seat and literally I would tell him what to tell her - and he would say "you can tell her, SHE can hear".

I ended up purchasing expensive over-the-ear hearing aids ($3600/pair) and it did take a lot of fittings and slow adjustments with the audiologist programming changes. They are super easy to put in and very comfortable. I had to change the size of the over-the-ear device because I press phones to my ear all day long and have to do this pain-free.

I have multiple channels - one for "regular" environments, one for restaurants & movie theaters (magnifies the sound directly in front of me, not the sounds all around me) and one super-duper magnifying one that just cranks up everything.

They really, really work. I remember the first time I put them in and left the doctor's office and saw a woman with her little daughter just outside the door. She was leaning down with her back to me whispering and for the first time in my life i could hear her - and her daughter's voices. It was astounding. I am amazed at what I've been missing.

So I wear them at work and when going out for restaurants and movies and such. But I admit I don't wear them all the time at home or at the beach. I watch TV with close captioning on and now DH cannot live without CC either.

My excuses for not wearing them when I'm just relaxing at home are: (1) they are super expensive, and I lost one once (!) and had to pay $1800 cash to replace it. These hearing aids hook on sweaters & hats and I've literally flung them out of my ear and onto the road! and (2) the batteries are kinda pricey and I replace them once/week even when limiting my hearing aid use to work & outings. The more difficult part about batteries is if you buy them in bulk or online, often they aren't fresh and they are "dead" before you even put them in. So you are constantly chasing "fresh" batteries.

I cannot imagine living without hearing aids now. I now realize that I shaped my life around my hearing loss - reading lips, sitting up front in class, sometimes cupping my hand around my ear. It's embarrassing how much I've missed. But not being able to hear my own daughter's voice in a moving car was the turning point.

I wish you & your father the best. Be kind, know that part of solving a problem is admitting you have a problem. At his age it might be painful to admit that body parts are failing. Everyone will experience this at some point in their lives, I hope our loved ones are kind to us when it happens.

Best,

[dnna]

Dawn P. myson wears the over the ear type as well. Please check out Costco online and see the amazing reduction in cost. I had to remortgage my house to buy his last pair, and the audiologist in the fancy office did not care one bit. They are business people, not social workers. just take your prescription and shop around like you would a car.
The first time my son had the aids on like yours, the audiologist snapped his finger s and said - cool! he had never heard that sound.

You cannot scare a person into wearing hearing aids. You can't wear them at night. My son slept through a fire alarm at college. Now he has a bed shaker alarm.

ps . we were at the audiologist's office today and the captioned phone is amazing. The updates are awesome., Now it has speaker phone. volume control- a superior phone. and you can get one for home and one for your office free under the americans with disability law ( not quite right but you get my meaning)
do it , get that phone. Get the phonic from Costco or the office and have them program it into your hearing aids . wear the loop while watching tv, you will be amazed -much much better than just your aids. also , my son brought the microphone -clip on- to school and wore the loop -phonak system - and did great.

[DawnP]

Thanks, dnna, for the Costco tip! I just got a membership this year, I would have never thought to look there.

[Jennifer R]

This has been interesting for me to read, my husband has had progressive hearing loss for the past 10 years. He just turned 74 and also finds his bilateral hearing aids--to the tune of multiple thousands--to be a mixed blessing. Sometimes they help but often not.

He also has the channels that Dawn P speaks of but says that they don't make a lot of difference for him. He does OK with the aids in one to one conversation but also has trouble with female voices. In airports or restaurants, despite trying the different settings, he still finds the overall noise level makes things indecipherable.

He lost a job because he wasn't able to do well hearing people on the phone, now about the only person he'll speak to on the phone is me and I have to do business on the phone for him myself or he often can't understand. Dnna the captioned phone sounds amazing. We're looking into it.

His hearing loss has changed our relationship significantly. No more little things said in passing or he can't hear, no more talking from room to room, things like that. We still enjoy music together with him wearing headphones, I've learned to face him and speak clearly and have gotten used to repeating things frequently--he also doesn't like wearing the aids when it's just the two of us in our home.

It's definitely a challenge for the person with hearing loss and those around them. This thread has been informative and uplifting.