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Old 10-13-18, 10:12 PM  
primrosecat
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Thank you Sara. I truly appreciate your kindness. You all are so inspiring.
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Old 10-13-18, 11:41 PM  
susan p
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This thread is lovely. I have never been one of the pretty girls, so to some degree I have a little less angst about looking older. But I WAS one of the thin and fit girls, and I've gained 30 pounds beyond my healthy and stable adult weight. And that DOES bother me.

However, I've found that success NEVER comes from a place of self-loathing. Accept yourself where you are. Accept yourself as a kind friend would accept you. Remember that beauty really is an inside-out sort of thing. I can think of two times in my life when I saw women who were plain, even downright ugly, in their physical features, but they were so full of LOVE that they just glowed. It really transformed them.

I think sometimes that as our outer beauty fades, our inner beauty shines. Be that person who speaks a kind word, that person who encourages someone else, that person who loves their family ferociously, that person who has a heart for homeless animals, etc. Then yeah, by all means, work on getting more fit or losing weight or coloring your hair or whatever. That's fine too!! --but it will work better if you do these things first. You might even find you care about it a little bit less, and that when you care about it a little bit less, it falls into place more easily.
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Old 10-14-18, 04:09 AM  
Anny
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
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One thing I have found is that getting older has helped me make big decisions in my life, without caring what others think.

I have removed myself from an abusive marriage and undergone two career changes. I have seen my children become young adults. I am in control of my life and thoughts.

I enjoy my workouts. My health checks show all is good in spite of higher BMI. I feel good. I enjoy my life.

All this helps me to remember that I am more than my looks. I am me. Strong. Resilient. Healthy. Fun. Kind. And my looks are unique. They reflect me and my life and my experience.

I don't know if this helps anyone but it helps me to remember all that I am and all that I have done and all that I do. None of which rely on looking a certain way.

Hugs to the original poster. Maybe following some body positive blogs or Instagram accounts may help? xx
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Old 10-14-18, 07:57 AM  
upperwside
 
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Bright red lipstick. I am ageing, I have to work hard to keep muscle and the fat down.. but I will always stay blond and put on my red lips, makes me feel strong and sexy.. it's the little things and a mind set. Do thing you enjoy and surround yourself with people you love.. life s too short for anything less.. obstacles come along the road.. but we find a way to move through these...
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Old 10-14-18, 06:47 PM  
macska
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Thankfully my eyesight is not that good anymore so I don't see the damage that clearly. I try to focus on strength and mobility, that empowers me a great deal. Because of that I try to not think too much about the older body and face.
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Old 10-14-18, 09:22 PM  
bee
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Quote:
Originally Posted by susan p View Post
This thread is lovely. I have never been one of the pretty girls, so to some degree I have a little less angst about looking older. But I WAS one of the thin and fit girls, and I've gained 30 pounds beyond my healthy and stable adult weight. And that DOES bother me.

However, I've found that success NEVER comes from a place of self-loathing. Accept yourself where you are. Accept yourself as a kind friend would accept you. Remember that beauty really is an inside-out sort of thing. I can think of two times in my life when I saw women who were plain, even downright ugly, in their physical features, but they were so full of LOVE that they just glowed. It really transformed them.

I think sometimes that as our outer beauty fades, our inner beauty shines. Be that person who speaks a kind word, that person who encourages someone else, that person who loves their family ferociously, that person who has a heart for homeless animals, etc. Then yeah, by all means, work on getting more fit or losing weight or coloring your hair or whatever. That's fine too!! --but it will work better if you do these things first. You might even find you care about it a little bit less, and that when you care about it a little bit less, it falls into place more easily.
I like this thread too, but wanted to tell you that I really liked your post. Seems like it was speaking directly to me. Thank you.
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Old 10-14-18, 09:25 PM  
lizh
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This is an interesting thread. I just turned 59 a couple of weeks ago. One thing I use to console myself with age and weight is that I look back and sometimes wish I enjoyed my younger years a little bit more. So I bet when I'm 70, I'll be wishing I really dug in and loved being 59. And if I'm lucky enough to live to 80, I'll remember how good it felt being 70 etc.

Same with weight. No matter what weight you are, imagine there is someone out there who weighs 40 pounds more that you do and would LOVE to be where you are at your weight. Let's try to love where we are!
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Old 10-15-18, 08:06 AM  
Pat58
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I am struggling mightily because of arthritis that makes my body look older than I am. A person can eat right, exercise all day and use the right moisturizers, but I can't do a damn thing about how my hands, feet, back etc. look. The fatigue and living with pain makes me look worn out, and auto-immune problems also affect the hair, skin and nails.

I do the best I can and tell myself it would be a lot worse if I didn't keep my weight stable, do my yoga and keep working out all these years. It still sucks.
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Old 10-15-18, 09:17 AM  
Kathy G
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I struggle with comparing the 40's version of myself with my 55 year old self. I need to appreciate what my body can do NOW and not compare it to 10 years ago. I started run/walking races and feel disappointed with my finish times but I'm accepting that I am heavier and slower now but I'm still out there enjoying it (for the most part anyway).

I also stopped caring about the visual as much (I've developed that middle age pooch) and went from the land of "Miss" to the land of "Ma'am", lol! I accepted the changes and pulled up my big girl stretch pants and moved on.

But seriously, it's hard. I understand the OP and what she feels.
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Old 10-15-18, 11:03 AM  
TracyQ
 
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I also stopped caring about the visual as much (I've developed that middle age pooch) and went from the land of "Miss" to the land of "Ma'am", lol! I accepted the changes and pulled up my big girl stretch pants and moved on.
Seeing how I was out shopping for pull on pants this weekend. This cracked me up.
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