Thank you so much for your kindness from sherry7899

[sherry7899]

Thank you all so much. I wish I could reply to everyone individually.....I am still not sleeping much. I had hoped to do cardio today, but I don't think I have the energy. I may do some gentle yoga.

I am dreading things like getting the mail because there will be things for Frank. On Monday there was a package with with two autographed books by John Densmore of The Doors (he ordered multiples of things sometimes-Diana, you may want to read it). I contacted a friend of my husband's who saw the then three remaining members of the Doors with him (we have since lost Ray) and told him I wanted him to have one of the books. The next day his issue of Beatlefan magazine came in the mail, which I passed to another friend who came over to be with me. We had scheduled to get an estimate for a new air conditioner later this year, and he wanted me not to have to be here alone for that.

Then two copies of a Peter Tork album along with a copy of it on cd arrived (sigh...) I am trying to contact Deep Discount DVD to see if I can return them. I found a list Frank had of pre-orders of albums he had made that he was expecting from independent artists through Bandcamp (I know I'm going on about this and it is weird to do so at a time like this, but this was such a part of who he was). He had been corresponding with one of the artists by email, so I was able to contact her directly (thank goodness he never deleted emails). I had to go through Bandcamp's site to try to cancel the other order. I reached out to several independent musicians we had been following for years who knew him and let them know. They were so kind. We are friends with Don Dixon, who produced the first few REM and Smithereens albums. He is an absolute sweetheart and we have talked with him many times after his own concerts since the late 1980s. Luckily Frank had Don's phone number is his phone from when Don was touring with Mary Chapin Carpenter's band playing bass. They had a show in Princeton which is near us, and Don said he would leave us his comp seats for the theater and gave Frank his number in case there were any issues. I hated calling him with the news, but I did not want to send a facebook message.

Frank was also acquainted with Don Everly's son Edan, who was in a touring band of oldies acts Frank often took his mother to see. Frank had tracked down video of an obscure Everly Brothers appearance that he sent to Edan a few years ago. They had talked after several shows. I want to hunt down his email. The list is endless.....

Of course there are more real life things to take care of, which I'm doing in between.

Neither one of us has much family, but we are so fortunate to have such incredibly nice friends for practical and emotional support. Our best friend is a lawyer, two are CPA's, and one is a financial planner, so I have help. Two friends from high school are a doctor and a nurse practitioner. They both assured me when I was feeling horrible and tortured whether we would have known anything was wrong earlier and said there would have been nothing that could have been done.

A friend of ours who moved to Connecticut a few years ago offered to jump in his car and drive down when I called him. Unusual for me, I barely feel like eating, but we've gotten so much food. A friend of my son's made us a huge tray of baked ziti and homemade butternut squash soup. I guess the friend forgot my son's hatred of most vegetables, but it was so kind of him to cook for us. I will eat it a little at at a time. I had not even met this particular friend, but my husband had. Another friend gave our son a huge gift card for Wawa because he knows my son loves their sandwiches. A local friend brought over homemade cookies, and another one brought a lasagna she had made and frozen along with a ridiculous amount of other food. A former co worker's of my husband that I'm friendly with also is coming over later today. Her son works in a grocery store, so she offered to have him bring home milk for me (the one thing I need) so I don't have to go out. She moved over an hour away, so it is so kind of her to come here (socially distanced with masks, of course).

I still can't believe I will never see him again. I keep wanting to tell him things and I can't.

I did finally play some music last night. A link to the video for "New Year's Day" by U2 on you tube came up in my facebook feed so I listened.I usually played that every New Year's Day, but I forgot this year. The lyrics "I will be with you again" hit me really hard. Oddly, (another sign) that led to a video for the song "Moving On" by the Zombies on you tube. We had never even seen that video and didn't know they made a video for the song. They were one of our favorite bands to see live, and the video was mainly footage of them playing live.

It is really strange to me that particular Zombies song came up.....the lyrics are here:

I'm moving on like a ship sailing windblown
Who can say where the rainbow may be found
Take my chance and I'll sail to tomorrow
April moon can you tell me where I'm bound
I'm moving on from this place of confusion
It's goodbye to trouble I'm leaving behind
In my life no more grief and no sorrow
Won't allow darkness my life to define
I won't cry for the past
For I've refound my freedom at last
I won't shy from the strife
What doesn't kill me will fill me with life
And I'm moving on to my dreams of tomorrow
Thrilled to be wherever my soul may be bound
Who can tell where the journey may lead me
Who can say where the rainbow may be found
I won't cry for the past
For I've refound my freedom at last
I won't shy from the strife
What doesn't kill me will fill me with life
And I'm moving on to my dreams of tomorrow
Thrilled to be wherever my soul may be bound
Who can tell where the journey may lead me
Who can say where the rainbow may be found

thank you for listening to my rambling....I may try to do some yoga now.

Sherry

[Hilary]

Sherry, I am so very very sorry for your loss. Know that you are loved.

[Cher]

((Hugs)) Again, thanks for sharing. We’re all here for you so keep posting when you need to. Sometimes it’s good to do that when you think of things like this.

[Erica H.]

Big hugs and loving thoughts to you, Sherry, as you go through all of these hard things. As others have said, my heart breaks for you and I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through. I'm glad you have so much support and kindness from your friends.

Erica

[Vantreesta]

Sherry, thank you for opening your heart to share. I agree with others, post whatever you feel like sharing and whenever. There is healing in ways we often don't expect. I believe in signs too and they can be very emotional and uplifting. Sending you more hugs and prayers.

[kimf]

Sherry, I am so sorry for your loss. Frank sounds like a lovely man. I hope you find peace in your cherished memories. ((hugs))

[toaster]

Sherry, things like the mail...as hard as the "big things" of grief can be, the small, more unexpected things can be just as painful. Sounds like you are working through each thing as it comes up the best you can.

The father of one of my clients died just before Thanksgiving. There was just the remaining parent and one other adult sibling in the family, and they were SO overwhelmed by the food donations; my client told me that they threw most of it away. People are just trying to do something to help (and really, trying to make themselves feel better).

Put yourself (and your son) first, and do whatever you need to do.

[Garrie A.]

Thanks for sharing Sherry. We are all here for you!

[lithium]

Thanks for sharing Sherry. I feel your courage and strength and send love and hugs to you.

[wishiwasinhawaii]

So sorry for your loss. Grief is a tough thing to deal with. I've unfortunately been through it many times. When you're ready, you may want to look into grief counseling for you and your son. It really helps.