How soon is too soon? - Page 6

desderata · 10-06-20, 10:01 AM

Susan, I am so terribly sorry for your shocking loss. The first rule is to be kind and compassionate to yourself. Everyone processes grief differently. I lost my parents within 3 weeks of each other. It's not the same, but my thoughts - you experienced an enormous trauma, and now you are grieving and feeling guilty (without reason, but emotions are emotions). Give yourself time. Do gentle workouts. Sleep as much as you need. Try to eat something healthy at every meal to nourish yourself, but other than that, do not add more emotional stress by worrying about your diet.

Hugs to you.

Sue B · 10-06-20, 12:48 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss. Hugs to you.

My mom died suddenly last fall, I found about it minutes after I posted my last daily workout on VF. It's been more than a year and I have just begun to get back into exercising with simple walking and short strength routines off Youtube. So don't feel you have to rush. The whole world has had to change its routine drastically for covid, so you;re not alone in having a knocked-over apple cart. I think about how my mom grew up in post-WWII Japan, rebuilding from literally acres of rubble, and that helps give me strength to carry on.

Pam61 · 10-06-20, 04:46 PM

So sorry to hear about your mom, Susan! I'll be praying for you and your family at this time!

Only you know when it will feel right to exercise again and I would start out simple. Walking and something gentle (like yoga) might be good, when you're ready. Take the time to do what matters to you, with no-guilt about when you might come back to workouts again.

susan p · 10-06-20, 07:14 PM

You are such dear and wonderful people, I appreciate you so much.

Even as I was writing my first post, by the END of it, I thought "yes, 'getting back on the wagon' is a form of stuffing emotions." (at least FOR ME, and at THIS time.) It just became clear as I wrote about it.

I appreciate the responses so much I am crying. Thank you, thank you, wonderful people.

susan p · 10-06-20, 07:15 PM

I think the suggestions to focus on self-care and on walking outdoors and finding some support are really true for me at this time, that's where I need to be for awhile.

Erica H. · 10-06-20, 07:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by susan p

I think the suggestions to focus on self-care and on walking outdoors and finding some support are really true for me at this time, that's where I need to be for awhile.

I think this is a great idea and hope it helps.

Erica

Vintage VFer · 10-07-20, 10:42 AM

Susan, I'm so sorry for your loss!

I've sent you a PM.

PM or email me anytime! (((HUGS)))

desderata · 10-07-20, 10:43 AM

Quote:

Even as I was writing my first post, by the END of it, I thought "yes, 'getting back on the wagon' is a form of stuffing emotions." (at least FOR ME, and at THIS time.) It just became clear as I wrote about it.

I suggested that in my first post and went back and edited because it seemed harsh. That's what I did - losing my parents at the end of 2019 capped off an entirely awful year that was filled with death and other losses. January 1, I decided to kick myself into gear and started an intense workout schedule, but I still felt mentally out of it and distracted. Two weeks later, I broke my foot in two places while exercising, because my mind was elsewhere. So, yes, it backfired. I think you are wise to recognize this and focus on what will allow you to face your emotions.

Rivercat · 10-07-20, 10:48 AM

I am so, so sorry for your loss, Susan.

My father died 10 years ago of a heart attack, but he was an alcoholic which seriously impacted his health. After his death the grief was mixed up with a lot of what ifs and anger and guilt, and it took a long time to process. Eventually (years later) I went to a therapist and also found a book called The Grief Recovery Handbook that was very helpful.

At this stage, you need to take care of yourself and just do what feels like the right thing for that day. Journaling may help too--just writing down free form in a notebook that you can always burn or throw out later can help just get the knot of feelings out.

((hugs))

FitBoop · 10-07-20, 12:13 PM

Susan, I am so sorry for your loss. ((HUGS))

It is so recent. Give yourself time to grieve and do whatever you need to, to get through the next several months. You are strong.

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10-06-20, 10:01 AM
desderata Join Date: Oct 2007	Susan, I am so terribly sorry for your shocking loss. The first rule is to be kind and compassionate to yourself. Everyone processes grief differently. I lost my parents within 3 weeks of each other. It's not the same, but my thoughts - you experienced an enormous trauma, and now you are grieving and feeling guilty (without reason, but emotions are emotions). Give yourself time. Do gentle workouts. Sleep as much as you need. Try to eat something healthy at every meal to nourish yourself, but other than that, do not add more emotional stress by worrying about your diet. Hugs to you.

10-06-20, 12:48 PM
Sue B VF Supporter Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Maryland	I'm so sorry for your loss. Hugs to you. My mom died suddenly last fall, I found about it minutes after I posted my last daily workout on VF. It's been more than a year and I have just begun to get back into exercising with simple walking and short strength routines off Youtube. So don't feel you have to rush. The whole world has had to change its routine drastically for covid, so you;re not alone in having a knocked-over apple cart. I think about how my mom grew up in post-WWII Japan, rebuilding from literally acres of rubble, and that helps give me strength to carry on. __________________ Move your body often, sometimes hard. Every bit counts. Drop Two Sizes, Fit Body Blueprint, STRONG Eat. Lift. Thrive. and Revamp grad DISCLOSURE: I have a professional relationship with a seller or producer of fitness videos or products. For details, please see my profile.

10-06-20, 04:46 PM
Pam61 VF Supporter Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: The Ocean State!	So sorry to hear about your mom, Susan! I'll be praying for you and your family at this time! Only you know when it will feel right to exercise again and I would start out simple. Walking and something gentle (like yoga) might be good, when you're ready. Take the time to do what matters to you, with no-guilt about when you might come back to workouts again. __________________ Pam April Focus: Linda Stejskal Wooldridge (Barlates) Dean Pohlman (Man Flow Yoga) April 8th Everyday Yoga Four Week Challenge Jessica Smith Cardio Walks/Pilates Fusion Lee Holden Qi Gong 30 Day Challenge

10-06-20, 07:14 PM
susan p VF Supporter Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Kansas City	You are such dear and wonderful people, I appreciate you so much. Even as I was writing my first post, by the END of it, I thought "yes, 'getting back on the wagon' is a form of stuffing emotions." (at least FOR ME, and at THIS time.) It just became clear as I wrote about it. I appreciate the responses so much I am crying. Thank you, thank you, wonderful people.

10-06-20, 07:15 PM
susan p VF Supporter Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Kansas City	I think the suggestions to focus on self-care and on walking outdoors and finding some support are really true for me at this time, that's where I need to be for awhile.

10-07-20, 10:42 AM
Vintage VFer VF Supporter Join Date: Nov 2001	Susan, I'm so sorry for your loss! I've sent you a PM. PM or email me anytime! (((HUGS))) __________________ Goal:250 / Done:91 POSTURE CHECK!

10-07-20, 10:48 AM
Rivercat VF Supporter Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Northern Calif	I am so, so sorry for your loss, Susan. My father died 10 years ago of a heart attack, but he was an alcoholic which seriously impacted his health. After his death the grief was mixed up with a lot of what ifs and anger and guilt, and it took a long time to process. Eventually (years later) I went to a therapist and also found a book called The Grief Recovery Handbook that was very helpful. At this stage, you need to take care of yourself and just do what feels like the right thing for that day. Journaling may help too--just writing down free form in a notebook that you can always burn or throw out later can help just get the knot of feelings out. ((hugs)) __________________ Kate ~~~Inaugural Star Wars Half Marathon, Jan 2015~~~ "Work your own shovel" - John "The Penguin" Bingham

10-07-20, 12:13 PM
FitBoop VF Supporter Join Date: Nov 2001	Susan, I am so sorry for your loss. ((HUGS)) It is so recent. Give yourself time to grieve and do whatever you need to, to get through the next several months. You are strong.