Vintage VFer, I am so very sorry for your losses. I can relate to how you are feeling as I have suffered two losses myself very recently and while they are not the same as yours, I feel your pain. I lost my dog (avatar) in March and my brother, whom I've always been close to, in April (both to cancer).
Like you, I'm struggling to find motivation and have also exercised my whole life so this feels weird. My husband keeps teasing me that I keep saying I will do such-and-such "after my workout" but I keep putting it off.
I finally bought some new workouts (Cathe's ICE set) to help me out of my slump. It's helping some but I've only had the set for four days
and some days I feel like doing a kickboxing workout while other days I just want to do something lighter such as Pilates or Classical Stretch...but I do feel better after doing
something, even if it's just taking a walk.
Have you ever tried journaling? I have found writing my thoughts and memories down to be helpful and somewhat therapeutic, also making time each day for reflecting and praying, and in general letting myself
feel the emotions as they come rather than pushing my thoughts back has been helpful.
Please take one day at a time. And feel free to PM me if you need a friend to listen. (((Hugs)))