To all the VFers hiding in their check-ins...

[Vintage VFer]

Originally Posted by horsemom2

Not sure which was more upsetting being ignored or being attacked? Barb S

As the recipient of both, of course, both are annoying. The only one that hurt was when a vendor was allowed to attack me publicly on VF. Management dropped the ball and the thread lingered for a long time. That was probably my lowest point here and I almost left for good.

Originally Posted by Buzzer

I miss feeling happy and free in the posts, and getting caught up in a running joke or funny discussion where we spoke freely without anyone getting upset and tearing apart what we said. Now if I want to post, I have to think about it in my head, I can come up with twenty ways 'till Tuesday that someone will think I'm being mean or judgy or whatever, and I just skip it. Not worth wasting my time to have someone interpret what I've said in a negative way and out of context.

While political correctness has it's place, it has killed a lot of spontaneity. The more people are afraid to comment, the quieter it will get. It's like some folks are just sitting there praying to be offended. One time, a VFer posted a photo and I commented that I really liked her hairstyle. That it framed her face nicely. She replied, "Are you saying I'm fat?"

Originally Posted by summer breeze

Just wanted to pop back in and say I think VVfer's thread worked!! When I logged onto VF this morning there was 3 pages of new posts whereas lately there's only been one or so when I log in. Good job.

We'll see how long it lasts.

[suzannaerin]

It would be fun to start a "no offense intended or taken" where we can be irreverent. I don't care for the term political correctness, particularly now. We all have hot buttons for sure but I don't think anyone here intentionally is unkind to fellow VFers. Well, maybe except when discussing the Guru (haha, I am just kidding, so please, no one get upset). But you know what, people who bring up concerns there seem motivated by good intentions. I have been dressed down a few times here, And only once did I think the person had issues due to the vitriol of her attack on me. it was about how I didn't care for an instructor 's fake eyelashes or something stupid, and in her response to me, she said my post was why she didn't log onto VF much. Haha. Tempest in a teapot.

[horsemom2]

Originally Posted by suzannaerin

It would be fun to start a "no offense intended or taken" where we can be irreverent.

An *Altatude* thread

[Lucky Star]

Originally Posted by cherimac

And to Buzzer, I have two or three friends I met here at VF who left completely for the same reasons. I keep up with them via Instagram or Facebook now. It's really sad.

Originally Posted by sherry7899

Buzzer-I also have several VF friends who left because of negativity. We keep in touch through email and Facebook. I miss seeing them posting here.

I'm sorry this has happened to you.

I was wondering where a bunch of great posters had disappeared to...wondering if they're the same people?

I'm sorry for those who've had such poor experiences here! I've been here a long time as well though have never been a major or 'popular' player. But I've always enjoyed reading GD threads and participating when I could. I've both learned and been entertained a lot! However, I do agree there's been more negativity and perhaps 'touchiness' in recent years, and I don't really know why. I know there've been a few times I pulled away from VF - specifically the GD forum - for a while. And when I think about it I guess that contributed to my lessening interest in participating here. (Though I'm also spending time exploring other interests.) But yeah, I'm definitely not posting as much and often it's just because I don't have anything worthwhile to add to an existing thread. And in some cases, threads have turned negative and I've no wish to participate.

Hoping for more kindness and the support VF has always been about!

[hch]

We've had a few discussions of declining numbers of threads on VF before. Since then, I have more evidence from "personal experience" that there's a wider shift from forums like these to things like social media. One forum is changing software, and gossip is that the reason is partially financial. Another forum closed its dedicated site and moved to Facebook. I've heard similar things about forums that I've never visited.

Yes, I agree with prior discussions that people do leave forums; I'll just add that their numbers are not being replaced at the same rate.

Originally Posted by Vintage VFer

While political correctness has it's place, it has killed a lot of spontaneity. The more people are afraid to comment, the quieter it will get. It's like some folks are just sitting there praying to be offended.

"Political correctness" can go in all directions. The recent turn of this thread towards complaining about other VFers' posts is ironic in a number of ways. VFers, whether specifically targeted or not, may become afraid that their posts are offensive. Most such people will remain quiet and not tell us why they've started posting less or even stopped posting altogether. My advice: don't discuss other VFers as you wouldn't like to be discussed.

[Edited to add: I do appreciate that people have felt pain and hurt; my post is not at all intended to dismiss those reactions. Rather, I propose that pain and hurt may help us think about how we reply to others. ]

I'm still not trying to play moderator in this new paragraph, but I like what WWWendy posted in a similar thread earlier this year, which ironically enough was closed (though because of a tangent and not because the main discussion itself deteriorated).

Originally Posted by WWWendy

I'd like to remind everyone that criticism of fellow community members is against the rules, and there are some posts here that include criticism of fellow members' posting behavior. If the goal is to make members feel more comfortable posting, it is likely to have the opposite effect. That said, by and large we have very helpful, friendly community members and I think if we all could approach each post assuming that fellow VFers do not intend to offend it usually turns out to be the case. Nuggie's Auntie's suggestion about following up with a calmly stated question is a good way to handle that type of situation here, and it often works in real life too.

[Vintage VFer]

Originally Posted by horsemom2

An *Altatude* thread

I'm guessing that those days are over. Which is part of the reason I changed my VF name from Alta-Tude to Vintage VFer.

Still, to paraphrase a line in the film, The Big Lebowski:

"The 'Tude abides..."

[Laura S.]

Originally Posted by Vintage VFer

I would lurk at a few check-ins and see who you might remember. The "Crone Cronies" is a nice group.

I know this thread has evolved since this post, but I wanted to throw out an invitation to anyone who is looking for a check in. We love to have new members and we do try to be nice to everyone in the midst of spirited discussions.

One trick I learned long ago was the ability to unsubscribe from threads that I no longer want to read. When things go hostile, I will often post my opinion in what I hope is a reasonable manner and then back out slowly and quietly.

[Paula N]

I find I just don't have a lot to add to most threads. Similar to what others have already said, my workouts tastes don't seem to match the popular trends these days. My video workouts are comprised of 70% vintage step workouts and 30% Cathe stength training. Half the workouts I do on a regular basis are on VHS!

As those in my check-in will attest, I am even bad about checking-in on a regular basis. I find that I am also doing more non-video workouts and don't always have much to add to the conversation.

Now, if someone wants to start a GD thread on old CIA, Evolution, Kari Anderson, or Charlene Prickett step workouts, I will be one of the first to chime in!

[Buzzer]

doh. double post.

[Buzzer]

Originally Posted by bubbles76

Agree completely with you Buzzer. I even remember the threads you're talking about. I love your posts though I also don't respond to some posts if I feel like I don't have an answer. But maybe so someone doesn't feel ignored, I'll pop in and say, "wish I had an answer, but I don't."

Bubbles, so much love to you, my friend! Seeing my old friends just tears me up! (tears as in real tears, not tears as in "I'm torn" )