To all the VFers hiding in their check-ins...

[cherimac]

Originally Posted by rhbrand

For me, ignored. I've been with VF for, well, ever. Since the 1990s and there are LOTS of times, I've asked questions, nothing. I start threads, nothing. I post on a thread, it dies.

It does make people just give up. I know I've taken breaks from here and no one even notices. Better to be attacked, and know people notice you, than ignored and figure no one cares.

I get this too. It has happened to me quite a bit as well. So I like to answer questions from time to time but don't really check back on the thread as often no once responds to something I post.

My interests are also very particular now with Pilates by Lisa and walking and some streaming on YT so I don't really check out threads on new things.

[cherimac]

And to Buzzer, I have two or three friends I met here at VF who left completely for the same reasons. I keep up with them via Instagram or Facebook now. It's really sad.

[sherry7899]

Buzzer-I also have several VF friends who left because of negativity. We keep in touch through email and Facebook. I miss seeing them posting here.

I'm sorry this has happened to you.

Sherry

[bubbles76]

Agree completely with you Buzzer. I even remember the threads you're talking about. I love your posts though I also don't respond to some posts if I feel like I don't have an answer. But maybe so someone doesn't feel ignored, I'll pop in and say, "wish I had an answer, but I don't."

[Izzy]

Originally Posted by deineira

I have felt this way too and it's one of the reasons I don't post that much. There seems to be more responses to certain individual's posts consistently, whereas other people just don't seem to get the same level of engagement or response. People are cliquey by nature, and I believe VF is as well. It's just par for the course.

That being said, I read VF several times a day, I just don't bother to post as much as I could.

This is me. But also I was attacked here when a VF member took a comment of mine from Collage Videos and posted it here. I was not a member of VF at the time. For the next two weeks my quote/comment was viscously attacked here at VF, over 15+ pages. It was my opinion of how a certain instructor comes across at times and why I didn't care for it. I was not bashing the instructor just expressed my one time opinion. I felt awful. I thought "these people don't even know me." I never came over to defend myself because I thought if folks went on the attacked without even knowing me, I will be lynched. The person who brought it to my attention thought it was funny. I didn't. I felt so violated. After collage closed, I joined here but I never felt welcomed. I never got that we are warm and friendly here feeling. Over time, I read daily because there is good information here, I joined a checkin and slowly pop my head out as well and post. I stay away from any thread where folks are attacking others.


People have the right to their opinion. And sometimes to feel heard they repeat themselves over and over because they need their opinion to be validated and not attack. Just because we don't agree it's also not right to attack someone who feels different. When this happens, the person with the opposing opinion only gets more defensive and attacks back because they believe they are being attacked as a person. A little kindness goes a long way.

[summer breeze]

Just wanted to pop back in and say I think VVfer's thread worked!! When I logged onto VF this morning there was 3 pages of new posts whereas lately there's only been one or so when I log in. Good job.

[MathTeacher]

Izzy, I am so sorry this happened to you.

[bubbles76]

Izzy I'm sorry! Maybe it was the way the VFer presented the opinion? Sometimes knowing the context of something goes a long way. I wish that had not happened to you. If I was a part of that thread, I'm sorry. I don't know the situation and I can't think of the thread you are talking about, but knowing that it hurt you is just awful. I'm glad you're at VF.

[horsemom2]

Buzzer and Izzy voiced much of what I have felt.

I know many people are unaware of most drama, especially if not the direct victim of it. Many times I saw someone was attacked unfairly and it was as toxic as being attacked myself. Ironically, the few members who are here to take offense and counter-punch were already on my ignore list. I may not have responded as I should have because I have found those who are looking for a fight will not respond well and the drama and negativity will just worsen, hurting everyone and not helping anyone.

There are toxic personalities everywhere so I try to avoid them best I can but I am sorry that I saw abuse and did not stand up for the person being abused.

Barb S

[Sue B]

Originally Posted by rhbrand

For me, ignored. I've been with VF for, well, ever. Since the 1990s and there are LOTS of times, I've asked questions, nothing. I start threads, nothing. I post on a thread, it dies.

It does make people just give up. I know I've taken breaks from here and no one even notices. Better to be attacked, and know people notice you, than ignored and figure no one cares.

We're part of a very small handful of VFers who love to lift heavy. I knew that if I started a thread about Sohee Lee, it would fall down the page and disappear forever. So I tend to add to existing discussion rather than start threads. I'm sorry you feel ignored. FWIW I'm always interested in your posts, when I see them. (I don't come here as often anymore, life and stuff)